After thinking about yesterday’s trip to Cincinnati and the awesome day Jay Bruce had again while I was in attendance I did some researching. To the best of my memory I have been to at least nine games over the course of his career. I was thinking more but my memory isn’t what it once was unless you want to pop quiz me on Cincinnati Reds trivia and Katy Perry dimensions. In those nine games that I’ve seen Mr. Bruce don #32 for my beloved Reds here is his career cumulative stat line:
.371 batting average (13-35)
Four doubles, six homers, eight runs scored, 16 runs batted in, two walks, one hit by pitch and 15 strikeouts. (Jay as long been a human fanning machine)
That’s a 1.000 slugging percentage, and a .421 on base percentage, and he has had a hit in every game.
Non-baseball fans they build statues and name highways after you for career numbers like that, my point of all this being the Reds have struggled this year, and Bruce has struggled himself, maybe it’s time for somebody in the Reds public relations department to pony up some season tickets! Even though he won’t be a Red next year our stud pitcher Johnny Cueto is 3-0 with a .80 E.R.A. in games attended by the mighty Skipah. So who ever over pays for him next year might want to fly me in wherever he is starting next year also!
Tonight was the beginning of the highly anticipated All-Valley Pee Wee softball championships co-sponsored by Werch, Laville, & Lard Meat Packaging. They have been turning out the finest processed meats in the New Albany area since something like the 1800s. Google that shit, tell them you heard about them from Skipah’s Realm and you will probably get the primo “freezer package” for like $6,000 dollars instead of the standard $8,500.00, also tell them if they sponsor next year’s tournament to please add parking!
(I damn near had closer parking at the Reds game Sunday!)
(Pregame pep talk)
It was a packed house at the Grantline Softball Complex as all four fields were jammed packed with double-headers for the start of tournament play. Team Lightning who looked sharp as ever at practice Saturday must have hit the swimming pool and pixie sticks today because they came out flat and quickly trailed 3-0 after the first. Then the drama ensued. I’ve bitched and moaned about the pitching machine all year but today it was rather ridiculous as each inning progressed it would start throwing higher and higher. It got reset after every inning but we were the home team so by the time we were batting you needed to be at least five foot tall to take a level swing at it.
(Warmed up like a champ!)
(Is it my turn to bat yet!)
FYI, I’m going to hire this photo ninja to start doing my photo editing!
Throw in the opposing coach was using every stall tactic known to man and managing Pee Wee softball like he was a hybrid Sparky Anderson/Bill Belichick wanna be and it was starting to get a little “testy” tonight. I loved it, except for the pitching machine part that was complete bullshit! To give you an example of how bad it was the first nine girls that batted (including Sloane struck out because she was swinging a bat and not a tomahawk) only two even made contact.
(Pictures don’t lie)
We dug ourselves too big of a hole though and by the time we started hitting the game was out of reach, the final score was 10-4 and that concluded this year’s softball proceedings. A couple of girls welled up a little bit and even old dad was pretty bummed about it. Sloane did make contact in her final at bat though and even drove in a couple of runs. Unfortunately she has to wait two years before she can be with that coaching staff again as his daughter is moving up to a higher division next year.
I can’t wait because her coach taught her and all the girls how to play the game right! Most of the coach’s play to the current set of rules in place for that age group (throw the ball to the pitcher and call time), our team didn’t play that way at all this year. If there was an out to be made we went for it instead of just chucking it in the direction of the pitcher and killing a play dead. Sure it cost us some losses this year potentially and definitely did today, but once they move up that throwing it to the pitcher bullshit is over. Sloane and all the other girls know to throw it to the correct base. I will say it until someone proves me wrong otherwise he was the best youth coach I’ve ever witnessed at that age level in any sport period! There is not one girl that didn’t improve by at least 50% this year and what he did with Sloane is short of miraculous.
About it for the night, interesting day in the personal life but I’m not allowed to blog about it. People have big mouths is about all I can say about that. Like I always liked to tell my ex-wife “You know I’m right” and generally 80% of the time I was. After today better bump it up to 82%, also heard a rumor that Sloane has a stepdad now. Can’t confirm it nor did I even try to, because frankly I don’t give a shit. The last conversation I had with the coaches tonight and a couple of the mom’s went something like this and I’m paraphrasing a whole group of people.
Group: “Are you going to have Sloane play fall ball or play next year”
Me: “That’s the plan although first I have to keep from getting shipped to Kentucky”
Me: “My summer is just starting”
Whatever happens nobody gets to take away the absolute enjoyment I had watching my daughter improve and excel at softball this year!