The seas are a little rough in cyberspace right now!
We are at Defcon 5 here at the office. The kids and Miss Madison are stowed away in the doomsday bunker and I’m at an undisclosed location manning the Skipah’s Realm mainframe. This website got torpedoed in the last 48 hours and I plus a team of incompetent WordPress techs are trying to figure out what has happened. I would blame it on a Kentuckian but the majority of them don’t even know how to operate a computer unless it says Commodore 64 on the side of it. I’ll be right over though if we are playing a marathon battle of Summer Games, I want to be Italy! With a Commodore 64 reference, I’m really showing my age!
What has happened? My loyal island of the internet has been raped and pillaged by a ghost. My millions (more like 775) of cyber pals have disappeared. To quote Warden Norton “Just up and vanished like a fart in the wind.” All of a sudden I’m only at 70 and nobody can seem to give me an answer! I had just completed the bracket for the Skipah’s Realm miniature golf tournament and now I’ve got to start back over with fewer competitors! This kind of crap really cuts down on the prize pool! I’ve ruled out the Chinese, but after that anybody is fair game.
Maybe Admiral Pierre Gooseford is behind these shenanigans!
I’m sure this is some kind of technical glitch, but you know what isn’t? The Democratic Party here in the good ole U.S.A. How in the hell Hillary Clinton gets as many delegates as Bernie Sanders should be a crime. She got her ass handed to her Tuesday! There are closer elections in North Korea than the beat down she took at the hands of
LARRY DAVID Senator Sanders. Yet because of wonky math, super delegates (those are different than delegates…donot ask) she pretty much played out to a draw Tuesday night in the big picture. I’m not trying to hold my own American Civics class here, but when you get waxed by a 2 to 1 vote count I think it’s clear to say “The people have spoken.” Even Hammy is flummoxed by this and he grew up in Cold War-era Russia!
Other than this latest hiccup things couldn’t be going better for me if a Hollywood screenwriter drafted my life story. Not having Sloane around sucks monkey nuts and trust me loyal reader a major comeuppance (this will be the “big” word of the day) is in the works for the future. The road that has been paved with potholes is starting to get some new gold asphalt. It’s going to take a while for me to get this new super highway fully operational, but it’s going to be a thing of beauty once I get it completed. Skipah’s lesson for the day…donot piss Sloane off!
Having Miss Madison around full time is definitely a plus to offset the negative of my daughter being trapped against her will, although she could possibly be rethinking this “dating” a blogger stuff. I mention traffic is good or bad and she thinks I’m talking about the White Tail Deer Causeway. We will be driving somewhere exotic and romantic, like say IKEA and Trader Joes (we are modern day romantics) and something catches my eye we turn around so I can capture a picture for future material. When my phone starts singing to me like I’m at an Adele concert she no longer asks silly questions like “When are you and that Texas blogger going to get a room.” She knows the harmonics of the Twitter symphony orchestra consisting of the like, retweet, and comment to the original tweet trifecta when my Samsung Galaxy 6 starts going haywire. That’s a free plug Samsung rumor has it the SG7 is coming out soon…just saying. When Miss Madison finds the time between babysitting me, playing mom, and teaching 8th graders the actual Civil War is more important than the Guns N’ Roses song she wants to do a “dating a blogger” post so stay tuned!
Don’t worry about me I know when to separate blog life with real life, and have Miss Madison’s full support. I better get off here though and get back to the offices and clean up the mess I made with glitter and a hot glue gun or that attitude might change. I was in the process of making Valentine’s Day cards to all my cyber pals and sneezed. Now the place looks like I was hosting a DIY stripper convention (huge untapped voting bloc in the states) and I don’t want to have to explain this one to Miss Madison!
Jeb Bush needing a little traction in your campaign?
Cheese be my valentine! Don’t underestimate the creativity of DIY strippers!
Also, if you are part of the WordPress headache posse that I’ve been able to avoid until now don’t forget to (re)follow Skipah’s Realm so you can get your daily dose sleep inducing dribble!
Editors Note: Since this posting WordPress has fixed the error, forget anything negative I ever said about them :).