I think I have successfully broken my 210th camera!
Unfortunately, if you are a child in the Midwest honey hole known as Indiana, you have probably learned by now that there is no such thing as summer break. Long gone are the years of 12 weeks of pool parties and sleepovers. Try seven, or if you are lucky eight, weeks before you are back at your least favorite brick building in the world known as school. Miss Madison and I did the best we could for our offspring to make it as enjoyable as possible. With summer coming to a close and all the kids back in school (Sloane starts next week), let’s do a gentle recap, shall we.
Raise your hand, kids, if you can say that you got to spend a week traveling all over the east coast, with stops at the Hershey factory, Diggerland, Philadelphia, Cape May peninsula, Annapolis, Washington D.C., and we aren’t even into the third week of June. Just for kicks, we even invited our own kids to our wedding the week we spent on the banks of Green Bay in Wisconsin. This was fresh from a trip for Miss Madison and her kids to visit some family in Minnesota, and Sloane flying to Florida to visit some of her family and to quote Johnny Cash, “We’ve been everywhere!”
The waist line is delighted that we’ve returned home.
Boring you yet? I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention all of us attended a Goo-Goo Dolls concert in Indianapolis just to pile it on. If that wasn’t enough for you to digest, and before I get hit in the head with a frying pan, Miss Madison did a little traveling herself sans kids to Kansas City and Yale University in back to back weeks for some educational enlightenment. She even found time to visit New York City, and thanks to some secret underground blogging contacts, she even got a free dinner one night in New Haven.
Now before you think Skipah has been ripping off drug dealers and running an illegal chop shop out of his garage to pay for all of this fun, I’ve got one word for you…GROUPON. Miss Madison has a frugality degree in budget traveling and finds us five star hotels at roach motel pricing. Throw in being part of a class action lawsuit settlement with the thieves at Ticketmaster, we have plenty more live music to see before the year is over.
We had one more little wrinkle to add before we officially called it a summer with the kids. We had to have a wedding reception for the home folks! Since we got married out of state, many of our friends and family couldn’t make up to Wisconsin, so Miss Madison and I took full advantage of getting more wedding gifts…joke joke, calm down people….we had ourselves an impromptu trip to Hawaii in our backyard. It was tiki time!
Credit to Sloane for the sidewalk graffiti.
Since I have been unemployed for the past four weeks with nothing but time and an affinity for major British sporting events (Shout out to American Jordan Spieth for kicking some butt across the pond), what better way to get ready for a party than to wait until the last minute, cue Miss Madison nodding her head.. Thankfully though, the landscaping project from hell was done just in time, and Amazon got all of our supplies delivered in time for a rocking night.
I’ve been here so many times in the past month, I know who has relationship issues, whose sleeping with who, and when shift changes occur!
I am now fully certified with my Shoveler’s Union training. Also, currently looking for a decent back specialist!
Apparently, Miss Madison forgot I’m unemployed with her Amazon shopping spree!
We couldn’t have gotten luckier with the weather for this time of year in Indiana. No humidity, mid 80s temperatures, hell you might have thought we were in Hawaii! Unbeknownst to me, the local folks in these parts can pack away some food! Ten pounds of pork and ten pounds of brisket were gone quicker than I could get the Hawaiian chicken kabobs off the grill.
Sammy was working overtime for the luau! This stuff was gone quicker than a President Trump cabinet member!
We were initially worried we would have to finance a new refrigerator to hold all the leftovers, but by the end of the night we were worried we were going to make an emergency food run! The Blue Hawaiians were going down smooth for everyone, and by the end of the night Miss Madison and I had successfully hosted our first party.
Sloane and the gang had more fun than the law should allow!
Now my little girl and the step kids (weird to type that) are all about to start school with more memories than some 40-year-olds have. It’s back to the stupid, dumb, inane, insert your favorite cuss word, custody arrangement I have to live with in regards to visitation. It is in this part of the blog post I should happily remind everyone that Sloane spent a whopping six nights at her other house during the summer. So I’m assuming in the memorable parents department montage they show next year at the Co-Parenting Convention in White Plains, NY I should at least get a clip or two in. Yes, I know there is no Co-Parenting Convention before the peanut gallery chimes in, that is an example of sarcasm. It is something I’ve recently been working on to up my game!
About it for now, I got a job lead to run down, its running guns across the border. The pay sounds fantastic, but the benefits of a life sentence or being shot kind of have me in limbo on this one. Now off to tweet the governor about those unemployment benefits! I paid into the damn system for long enough, how about they throw me a little love to keep me afloat!