Frustration!

 

download (20)Happy Pi Day everyone!  That will conclude my thoughts on the statistical anomaly that occurred today.  I celebrated by cleaning house, doing laundry, and even got Sloane to participate by picking up her bedroom.  We know a good opportunity like anyone else when it comes to a blowout Pi party.  IT FINALLY STOPPED RAINING this afternoon!  A quick trip downtown today and I haven’t seen the river up this much in a long time. Even saw two guys fishing while sitting on a park bench and with normal river levels there would be no way in hell they could even attempt it.  Even got to get in on a two mile walk.  Come on Spring I’ve missed you terribly!

It’s Sloane’s monthly “grandparent” night with mom, and I turned her over this afternoon so she gets a full evening of no rules and spoiling.  After running errands and such, I returned home and I started putting laundry away.  This is where things get “tough” for me.  In the process of cleaning her room today Sloane laid out all of the pictures that she has of her mother and I on her bed.

After the shit that spawn of Satan put me through I have no desire to rekindle that flame, but Sloane has it in her head that she can “match” make us back together.  Knowing my daughter, the way I do, she did this intentionally. Her heart is the last one I would ever want to break but I don’t know what to say to her tomorrow when she comes back home.  I would prefer a sit-down with the ex on this matter, but I know that isn’t going to happen. So, I have to go it alone without hurting my daughter’s feelings.

Co-parenting is impossible these days! I asked our daughter how softball practice went Thursday and come to find out her mother left at 7:00 pm with her  (practice runs until 7:30), reason being it was getting late!  I would find some truth to this argument if she was staying with me on Thursday night, after showers and wind down time etc… She has to get up early when she is with me because of my work schedule.  When she is at the nursing home she gets to sleep until it is time for school though.  I’m just sick of the bullshit! I’m sick of being the only one looking out for my daughter’s social activities, I’m just sick period!

My daughter deserves the best! Her parents divorced so what in the grand scheme of life.  I just want to co-exist. If her mother feels uncomfortable in a social setting with our daughter, that is on her.  I’ve proven I’m a damn good father and I should get her 50/50 during the school year.  She’s proven she’s a piss poor mother who only thinks of herself.

I want to help my daughter out with her homework (something she doesn’t do, thanks to my former mother in law). I don’t get that opportunity because of the custody arrangement.  I get to walk on eggshells in regards to anything that has to do with my daughter because if I say one cross word to the ex she will take me back to court.  Common sense long checked out with her, plus she is hampering me financially now and that is the reason I’m taking her back to court.  I’m sick of court, I’m sick of her, and I just want to see my daughter 50/50.

I had to rant tonight!

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16 Comments

  1. Like I said, divorce is the rift that keeps on giving. It’s sad but true that no matter what the circumstances our kids want their parents together. They’re the ones getting the run around who’s feelings for the other haven’t been shot dead with deception. I feel for you. I’d like to say I’ve been there but sometimes I’m still there.

    • I hate watching her go through it and that I can’t tell her the whole story….yet. She’s a strong little cookie though and thankfully she’s stubborn (right now) and has the resolve of an adult to get her through this.

  2. Thanks Athena, your support is much appreciated.

  3. This is incredibly upsetting. I hear your stories and think just how tough the road to co-parenting is… and you only really get one shot to do your best. You can do better after the fact and try to make up for mistakes but what’s done is done. Why doesn’t her fricken mother realize that?!?! I really hope all goes well with your next court visit.

  4. Than ks I appreciate that, just gets old

  5. What? No pie on Pi day? Shameful! Joking aside, I am sorry that you have to deal with your ex. But rest assured that you’re the better parent. It shows.

  6. Hammy is diabolical enough to do something like that! The ball is in mommy’s court when it comes to family law. If she wants to play nice great, if she doesn’t then lawyers get to start planning vacations. Walking is meditation and therapy plus I get to jam to some Katy Perry! Winner, Winner, summer isn’t far away I get the blonde bomber 50/50 then 🙂

  7. Oh man, the picture thing must be rough. But, kudos to Sloane for her creativity, right? But you know, maybe Hammy was actually thing one who arranged the pictures as part of some deep plot only the hamster spy knows of. Well, maybe…..

    Really pulling for you that you can come out on top in the latest round of court battle and wish I could do something to help. Why is it that the undeserving parent always seems to come out better off? Is the world blind?!

    Anyway, keep up with the walks, if nothing else, they’re meditative and just good for you. Hope Sloane can join you more than 50% of the time soon!

  8. Sometimes all you can do is keep doing what you are doing and wait for the kids to recognize how much love you have for them. I can’t imagine it is easy but we do what we have to for the kids and just roll with it I guess.

    • That day will come eventually, and I will have the biggest shit eating grin the world has ever seen. One thing I’ve really learned going through this is “patience”, I’m not at a zen level but a hell of lot better than I was a year ago.

  9. By the time I was done reading this, I felt so frustrated right along with you. It especially frustrates me when there are men like you out there who actually want to be a father to their children. It’s bullshit. I have seen this first hand with my brother-in-law. He does everything for his two little girls. He deserves full custody of them in my opinion because the mother is very troubled. The walking on eggshells thing you talk about. Ugh…why can’t people just grow the hell up and realize their child is the priority, not their ego and wounded pride. Great, now you have ME ranting. lol

    • Has been an ongoing battle since November. Hell this post alone will probably get me in trouble that’s how nit picky it’s gotten. Don’t feel bad for ranting, I encourage ranting LOL.

  10. It didn’t cut like a knife with me I could care less about her these days, but watching the pain my daughter is going through frigging sucks! She never chose this!

    • You’re stronger than I am! The first time my girls did the whole picture thing it hurt pretty bad!

      You are completely right that she never chose this and in my opinion her Mom should be trying even harder to make it up to her instead of making her life suck even more by making her not only miss events but making her leave them early as well. Just my opinion and I just can’t believe Indiana isn’t like Arizona where they give parents as much equality in parenting time as possible… With the exception of my case of course but we don’t want to go into that because it’s just insanity!

      You should have 50/50 as there is absolutely NO reason for you not to and soooo many reasons why she should ONLY have every other weekend. You are the parent that ensures she is a well rounded kid who gets to experience all that life as a kid has to offer AND ALWAYS has her best interest at heart. Okay I’m stepping down off of my soap box now… xx Lysa

  11. UGH! You and all of the MATH stuff… Enough already! LOL

    Just had to start off with a little humor in hopes of getting a giggle from you. That being said, I feel your pain and empathise with you my friend. You are such a good Daddy and the fact that you are going to talk to Sloane about the pictures just proves my point as MOST men would ignore it all. I said MOST so no hate mail please, I know not ALL men are like that.

    Anyway, I’m sure it cut like a knife to see all of those pictures and to be reminded of how she blind sided you and I’m sorry for that! Sending hugs, much respect, and adoration your way. Hope your night gets better!

    Much love,

    Lysa xx

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