Going through a divorce

Part 3,

So on the weekend on June 28-29 ,  this is after she has told me she intends to file, I get a bullshit story that she is going to stay with a friend that she hasn’t seen in over a year, I knew right away that she was full of shit and by this time I know my marriage is over for the most part, HOWEVER, she just re-upped the cell phone plan and agreed to Sprint Family Locator, I had forgot all about it until I was flipping through my phone and saw the app for it, I logged in and that is when my heart was fully crushed.  She was in Frankfort, KY; mind you I forgot to mention that just a week before I found on my IPad she was searching for halfway point between here and Lexington.  Clue # 6, I was absolutely crushed, after trying to save my own marriage for the past month that is when I realized she never had any intention to.  I was hurt, mad, confused and to this day I’m still reeling from it.   My daughter was at a friends that night and after I confirmed she was safe and secure I actually went out for once.    Second dumbest thing I did through this ordeal, I tried to burn bridges with people I shouldn’t be burning.  But my hurt and rage overcame me that night.  When I talked to my wife that day and asked her who it was, who it is, was it work or somebody else, you at least owe me that much after 17 years after getting treated like a frigging queen, I get told “I don’t owe you shit”  she never knew I would bust her there.  Its fine now, I’ve accepted it I lost her heart.  It’s not an easy pill to swallow, but I’ve swallowed it.  Now I’m in the fight of my life.  She wants to take my daughter from me, If anything the past month has taught me I love that little muffin head more than anything in the world.  I can’t prove it but she wants to leave the area, and move somewhere far enough away that I can’t stop it if she gets full custody.   I found out today that being a “good guy” doesn’t mean shit with the court, being a good husband doesn’t mean shit either, adultery is a “no fault” , I didn’t ask for this , six weeks ago I thought my marriage was “kosher” and now I’m fighting for my life just to be involved in my daughter’s life.  Being single sucks, the days I don’t have my daughter I don’t know what in the hell to do.  I spent the past 13 years devoting my life to one person and then two people, there is a void now and I have no idea how to handle it.  When I have daughter it helps but the days without her are tough, I’VE NEVER BEEN SINGLE, there is nothing to fill the time.  As everyone knows I love to cook, but I can’t even try to cook right now my taste tester is gone.  I have to figure out how to fill that void when my daughter isn’t here, and right now it’s a struggle.  Before I sign off for the night though I will always be grateful of a few people, my best friend and you know who you are is the president of the Skipah fan club,  My unofficial “big” sister who has no idea how much she has listened to me cry, bitch, rant or whatever, and I want her to know how much her friendship means to me going through this , My pro bono therapist that has gotten me back on my feet, after I spent an hour on the phone with you I was a different person :), I still ride the wave of emotions going through this but you have done frigging wonders for me!  Also my special friend that lives out of state, she smacks me in the head when I’m starting to derail and listens also having gone through something similar herself.  My mom and uncle, one listens the other smacks me in the head and right now I need both at times.  My therapist also is awesome!, she has taught me I’m a good guy, I didn’t want this, But I’m more than capable of fighting this.  She had my wife pegged from day one but did her best to keep me positive throughout the whole process.  My wife wanted a better dad, husband, person well she is going to getting a better father even though her lust is trying to prevent that, and I’m for sure a better person.  It will be her loss, not mine and when I fully come to grips with it I can’t wait for her to realize how she screwed up!  Night, this is my first night of having my blog and it’s late and I’m tired.

BJ’s wholesale website - DHGate.com
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