I’m in a New York State of Mind


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The most important gangsters in my life!

Is it already December?  Where in the hell did the year go already?  This time last year I was mulling a potential life changing event (moving in with Miss Madison), going through the ugliest and most expensive custody battle that involved incomes under 100K (if it wasn’t, it sure in the hell felt like it, plus I lost), debating on whether I could turn this website into a business and make a little coin and protect myself from the constant b.s. I had to put up with from the evil empire (to quote George W. Bush “Brownie, you’re doing a heck of a job” on that call), and just how I could create chicken salad out of a big old plate of chicken poo that life had dealt me.

Fast forward a year the box score on my four conundrums reads like this:

Mathews, Gary :  3-4  2HR, 1DB, 2R, 5RBI’s, I’m more than likely going to be player of the game with a stat line like that.  For you non-baseball fans, that’s three hits out of four, two home runs, a double, two runs scored and five runs batted in.  I’d be featured on all the highlight reels (that first tater was a bomb) and I’d be swatting away reporters likes mosquitoes on a warm Florida night.

Home Photo Print Delivery by PMJ

Did I choose right on moving away from my semi-big town of New Albany, Indiana, most days I would say yes except when I need to go to the grocery store and I’m left with only two options to choose from.  The custody battle was over before it started; I have a penis, and #PenisPenalty is a real thing in family law.  If you don’t believe me, explain to me why equal parenting family law bills are killed all the time by states.  The bar association has more pull with state legislators than free dinner vouchers at your local Morton’s Steakhouse.  Judges don’t care for the most part and lawyers love spending your wasted money on massages in Vegas.  I didn’t even manage to get contact on that at bat.  The pitcher was throwing more junk than you would see at your local yard sale and had me off balance that whole trip at the plate.

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There is always something going on in Madison, Indiana, a finalist in America’s Best Communities!

Turning Skipah’s Realm into an actual functioning business was a no-brainer.  I had to protect myself from stalkers and morons that used the Family Law shield and its powers of being “above the law” from dragging me into court for nothing more than getting their attorney another free nights stay on Hotels.com.  Do you want to come at me as an individual?  Knock yourself out, come at me as a business, well there are repercussions.  That down the line shot for a double would have been a triple if I didn’t run like I had two pulled hamstrings and a gall bladder infection.

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Even got this snazzy logo, now to get that merchandise tent up and running!

Any long-time reader knows at times I can make some magic in the kitchen, but last year at this time I had a better chance of scoring circa early 80s Van Halen tickets than I did of getting out of the financial wreck divorce/custody/bad luck had caused.  Emeril Lagasse couldn’t turn my chicken dung into something edible.  Thankfully I met the girl of my dreams who welcomed me with open arms to live with her.  I know it was more than likely because I’m not afraid of spiders and know how to use a cordless drill, but Miss Madison is a crucial piece of the Skipah puzzle that has me still smiling today.  The bat and ball that I hit that three-run shot with after meeting Miss Madison are currently on loan at Cooperstown.

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She’s still trying to cure my pyromania addiction, I’m still testing the melting point of anything!

Since I’ve made Miss Madison my CEO (like I would choose me, I’m an idiot), my blog has had some amazing traffic at times.  I treat grammar and editing like I just got picked to judge a nose picking contest, she makes me sleep on the couch when I use the words their and there wrong.  Once I gave her the magic password to my digital love child, she has transformed it into a grammatically correct behemoth that has made me the blogger I am today.  Not that I’m any kind of super blogger or even a mediocre blogger, but that leads me to my next point.

Two years and change into the bloggy world I have made some amazing friends and contacts.  It has granted me some out of this world opportunities, like being recently chosen as one of six dads to get an Oren Miller Scholarship to attend the Dad 2.0 Summit in San Diego next February.  I don’t treat this stuff lightly!  As a blogger, I’ve had many people share my blog all over the internet and it has helped me grow as a writer/blogger.  Others have shared with me social media advice and tip and tricks that are invaluable.  It’s only fair that I do the same for others I see worthy!

In a new feature at Skipah’s Realm, it’s time to introduce my “Blogger of the month”, it comes with zero fanfare, no guarantee to get this particular blogger any more traffic, and more than likely will get me banned in Blogger Digest.  With that being said, give Trudy some love please.  I don’t care if you have ever clicked on any link I have ever shared on here.  Please visit her blog Rendezvous En New York.

Trudy will one day become New York City’s favorite “underground” blogger.  If and when Miss Madison and I ever visit the “Big Apple,” I’m using Trudy’s blog as a budget-friendly guide.  Rendezvous En New York is a must if you ever visit New York City!  Trudy, stalks out the non-mainstream affordable events and her acumen for picture editing has me wishing I lived in New York until I’m reminded how cold it is there in the winter and a twenty dollar bill might get you a happy meal and a bus ticket!

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A Pier named Tommy?  Does such a thing exist?  Ask Trudy, she knows all things New Yawk!  Freaking Miss Madison again, reminding me it is pronounced as New York.  

This woman has a gift and I’m hoping to expose it to others.  New York City is just a tad bit bigger than Nowhereville, USA, but hopefully, this little shout out starts her out on her way to fame and fortune.  You hear me Madison Avenue execs?  Get this woman an NYC travel/lifestyle gig ASAP!  I’ve learned more from my couch about everyday New York City travel than anything else I’ve seen on the internet.  Any help the denizens of the Skipahsphere can give her would make me smile from ear to ear.  This woman has an awesome niche, I’m planning a rendezvous to Governor’s Island myself after reading her glowing words about the place!

About it for now, Miss Madison just told me I’ve been typing too long.  Trudy is sending her NYC mafia contacts to have a chat with me, and for the love of God, I will figure out how to make chicken salad out of chicken poo.  Meatloaf said it best “Three out of four ain’t bad,” dammit another liver punch just delivered from Miss Madison, it’s actually two out three ain’t bad!

Send Skipah Sailing!

19 Comments

  1. I read you by FB mostly these days man. I should stop by more, my bad.

    I blame you… 😉😄

  2. I’m always so glad to read your humorous blog, Gary! You live with an educator…you know my hubby’s pain. I correct his “English” all the time, kind of like Lucy and Ricky. LOL!
    Terri Webster Schrandt recently posted…Coffee, Birthdays and ColdsMy Profile

  3. The Dad 2.0 Summit doesn’t even know what it got into. I’m sure there will be a “no open fire” rule, so please keep that in mind.
    Jennifer recently posted…Why Yoga is More Important This ChristmasMy Profile

  4. Admire your ability to share personal details about your life with the world, in a humorous way. Great to hear things are looking up for you. And, always, tomorrow will be an even better day…

  5. I’ve enjoyed your blog as well as Trudy’s. I wish there had been a “like” button on Trudy’s reply. There used to be “likes” wherever I went, but today I’m on an old computer that doesn’t seem to “like” anything.
    Anne Mehrling recently posted…Thanksgiving Week PleasuresMy Profile

  6. Three cheers for Miss Madison! I will check out Trudy’s blog. I am sure it is spectacular if you are giving it your seal of approval. Keep doing what you are doing – the world needs more of #skipahsrealm! 😎
    Christine Tatum recently posted…Love: Volumes A – ZMy Profile

  7. You made a great decision for sure man! That is a glowing review for Trudy too. Now, just be safe with that pyromania now…
    RC Liley recently posted…Soft Star Child Classics: Minimalist Shoes Kids LoveMy Profile

  8. Gary that was too sweet! Such a glowing review of my blog, you’re going to make everyone jealous! I just try not to break the bank and keep myself entertained. My mafia contacts are staying here for the moment, they loved the post too so I made them heel! Anytime you need a guide you let me know.

  9. Oh dear , I just keep learning new stuff from your entertaining posts 😊 #penispenalty ?!
    What was it the other day – that ‘onlinewhore thing’ 😂 How cool , to give Trudy a shout out ! I am heading over to ‘Big Apple with Trudy’ right now ! Enjoyed a good giggle , as always !
    Klaudia recently posted…Christmas Party Invitation -Festive Style Ideas To Make You Look AmazingMy Profile

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