I’ve Picked Up a New Roomate This Week!

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The Sock Dating Pool is still filling up!

The beginning of one season and the end of another one.  Saturday night was our annual “fall” back one hour for daylights saving time.  Which is always great for when you are driving home and the blinding sun is right at eye level.  Area kids riding bikes and dog walkers probably a good idea to stay away from the roads from 4:30-5:30 since I don’t think NASA makes a pair of sunglasses strong enough to dim the sun’s rays at that time.  If you are successful in your journey to get home from work and only manage to run over a pothole and a stray cat, what do you get to look forward to……darkness!  Maybe I should start driving east when I get off of work until nightfall sets in before I take out a cheerleading car wash fundraiser or a mailbox.  Just kidding, but I really hate this time of year when it gets dark super early because that means winter is just around the corner.  I’m not of Nordic descent nor have I traveled in Siberia, cold weather and I are not friends.  Mr. Winter can take his buddy Sally Snowflakes to hell with him also!

Two things will happen if I ever hit the lottery…….The Skipah Society for Single Fathers will be launched (no man will ever go through the shit I’ve had to endure to see their child 50/50 if I can help it) and the only snowflakes I will ever see will be on a postcard or on the Internet!  What’s that Hammy?  Miss Madison is originally from Minnesota you say, never mind I freaking love snow!  Minnesota in January where do I sign up?  Just a sec have to get online to apply for a passport, why stop at Minnesota we are taking a Canadian vacation this winter!  Time to bone up on my NHL (that’s National Hockey League Kentuckian it is just as foreign to me so we’re cool for now), can I get a ruling on what icing is, other than what my daughter likes to lick off of a piece of cake?  Line shifts and offsides aren’t just football terms….right?

The other season that just ended was Major League Baseball, congrats to the Kansas City Royals for winning their first (actually second) World Series fair and square.  No Don Denkinger botched calls, this time, around, but hey they beat the St. Louis Cardinals the other time in 1985 and anytime I can get a Cardinals fan riled up I’m all for it!  Oh yeah, I’ll just shut up I forgot the Cincinnati Reds are my favorite team.  The fine folks of Kansas City sounded like they behaved themselves according to the reports I saw on Facebook from the KC Division of Skipah’s Army.  I am pretty sure I was still mastering my skills at Asteroids and Pac-Man on the Atari 2600 the last time KC won anything major in non-barbeque related events.

Unfortunately no Miss Madison this week until Friday when we are off to see Spectre and celebrate some birthday fun, but I have the most important girl in my world for the rest of the week!  Sloane is back home with dad all week thanks to luck and geography.  I’ll be running a tight ship this week with her because I’m the self-proclaimed smartest parent of the two and will be going over her homework with a fine toothed comb.  Saw a troubling grade on her progress report (don’t worry it would qualify as an A in Kentucky….sorry Kentuckian facts are facts), and since it was in Social Studies and I’m dating a Social Studies teacher we will get this remedied pronto!  I love cooking for Miss Madison, but I equally love cooking for Sloane also and we will be making all her favorites this week!  Bummed about not making my weekly trip to see Miss Madison on Tuesday, but she is as happy as I am that Sloane is to quote Jim Nabors “Back Home Again in Indiana” for more than one day this week!

After talking to Sloane this evening she was even more excited about next week.  Mr. Skipah is having a mini three-day vacation (use them or lose them is the motto for vacation days at my employer), and when I have her Wednesday night I’m taking her to school the following day.  She’s already asking for pancakes for breakfast and you can rest assured she won’t be getting that frozen microwaveable junk she is accustomed to.  The original plan for the three days was to spend it in New Orleans accompanying Miss Madison at a teacher conference, but that fell through due to a myriad of factors.  No worries more Sloane time is always awesome and I haven’t gotten to take her to school in a long time.IMG_20150620_112151

Ummmm dad, I want pancakes, chicken tenders, taco meat, cheeseburgers and all my Halloween candy!

Friday, November 13th is the biggest day of my life to date.  I’m up against the evil empire with nothing more than the love of a precious little girl that doesn’t want to leave her surroundings and fate.  Facts that are painfully obvious don’t mean shit that day!  It’s all about demeaning me on my OWN website that you loyal readers choose to patronize me by reading.  Borderline harassment and stalking online get shoved under the rug because I’ve had to survive the past year and a half.  I didn’t get the luxury of chilling at my parents for a year stockpiling money.  No, I had to scrape and scrap and be the best freaking parent I could be protecting Sloane as I saw fit.  I made mistakes along the way, but it was all new to me as a single dad so give me a break!  I kid and joke about the Skipah Legal Defense Team, but it really isn’t a joke.

The complete and utter bullshit I’ve had to go through is the reason one day The Skipah Society for Single Fathers will be a reality!  You stupid ass deadbeat dads (my own father included) go eat a rotten cock for putting me and other great fathers in an uphill battle.  I never chose any of this for my daughter I’ve only been in a position to react and never had the financial leverage to be proactive.  Lawyers are expensive!  My daughter is currently living in her own hell and is too afraid to say anything for fear of backlash.  She’s eight freaking years old and smart enough that to know this, tell me this is right!  Why the burden of proof is on me to prove my daughter is should stay in her native state?  The answer is because I have a blog that states facts and doesn’t have the money to fight it!  O.K., I’m getting off of my soapbox now.

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This is my thoughts on deadbeat parents!  Who in the hell buys their douche at Dollar General anyway?  

After that tirade let me remind you to go vote tomorrow, many men and women that don’t get to vote now fought to protect that right.  About it for tonight I’m hoping the Indianapolis Colts learn how to play football again and I have to keep Hammy from rigging local elections!

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In the spirit of Election Day here in the states, Mr. Skipah would be forever in your debt if you cast a vote for me!

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15 Comments

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  4. Totally hear you on this. Between getting angry and mad for you. Lawyers are expensive too. Divorce stuff sucks. But you continue to be fab and do well. All the dumb dad’s give us a bad name but hopefully we can make the difference. Despite all this you’re still funny and made me laugh. Good job matey

  5. This post had me laughing, getting mad, and even a little emotional at times. It’s great to see how awesome of a guy/dad you are. Sloane is one lucky kid all thanks to one of her parents….YOU! Way to be a great dad man!
    R.C. Liley recently posted…Squat Every Day is Done + What’s NextMy Profile

  6. I’m glad I’m not in the divorce boat… Watching what’s happening to parents and how they use their kids against each other (usually it’s one side that does that) I actually get angry. And it’s shocking to see (yes that’s coming from a woman…) that the Dad’s somehow always end up with less time with the kids… I guess you got lucky with the 50/50… Enjoy the time you have with your girl. I’m sure she will!
    amommasview recently posted…Women And Men…My Profile

  7. Glad you are rescuing your daughter from her own private HELL this week! She probably needs a break, too.
    hallenterprises132 recently posted…Prompt Stomp’s prompt for the Day: “SWEET”My Profile

  8. I buy douche at the dollar store now and again, not for me, but for when my dog gets skunked. The vet recommended it because vinegar kills the smell and you can aim that little nozzle right at the stinky part and it will project all the way down to the skin. Saves a little time and effort. That’s how they do it at my vet’s office. So now you know 😉
    I think it’s great you’d start a foundation of sorts. The legal costs are awful. I know someone who’s currently battling to get to move her child with her to Indy, from podunk nowhere where her then husband moved her before the kid came. $$$$ ridiculous. He rarely took the child, but now that there’s a battle, he wants the kid all the time. So weird. I blame ego. lol
    It’s Taco Tuesday here, so I will think of Sloane when I’m making mine!
    joey recently posted…Not Fit for Mass ConsumptionMy Profile

    • Thanks for the pet tips and other uses for douche Joey! The legal costs are enormous and really unneeded if common sense would prevail. Unfortunately egos and bitterness win out and the other parent has to “figure” it out.

  9. I can one-up you on the Dollar General. Noticed a pregnancy test at the Dollar Tree Sunday. Really?
    Maple Tree recently posted…Hello Ohio, My Old FriendMy Profile

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