Before everybody starts sending me hate mail and leaking rumors to the press that I’m about to be named to Donald Trump’s newly created cabinet position of social media manager, hear me out. Actually, that last sentence ranks up there with “September 11th, 2001 was a hoax” in terms of absurdity, but lately, the product review/sponsored content has been a little heavy on my site. I had this premonition the other day while I was practicing Zen in my redesigned bathroom (see what I did there) that maybe Skipah has become some sort of blogger sell-out. The short answer to that would be yes, the long answer would be if somebody wants to pay you or lavish me with gifts for a few short words via a medium I love to participate in any way…. WHY THE HELL NOT?
It’s a fine line between becoming a full blown online whore and trying to keep with some semblance of integrity on why I started this little digital love child in the first place. Long gone are the days of figuring out divorce or bitching and ranting about how jacked up custody laws are in this state. With school in session, I see my coworker’s kids more than I see my own daughter. I lost the short-term battle on that front, but the Skipah’s Realm brain trust insists I’m doing everything right and certain members of society will get their comeuppance in a few short years. (Potentially even sooner if one of my Tennessee readers was the lucky S.O.B. to hit the 400 million Powerball the past weekend and needs a tax write off.)
So, I apologize in advanced as the public relations department of Skipah’s Realm has me under contract with a few more agencies/brands for some honest thought provoking content on their goods. Product reviews and sponsored opportunities can be fun and save you a little of your hard-earned cash if you are so bold as to test the product review waters. In my two plus years of blogging I’ve landed a high-class belt and wallet from the good people at Kore Essentials. You will find more socks in my daughter’s dresser than you would at a sock monkey jazzercise class thanks to LittleMissMatched.com. Even in the early days with Miss Madison, I had her hook, line, and sinker when I was offered the chance to review Dirty Dancing the Musical. Since then I think she has done nothing but throw the sinkers at me, but thankfully my cat-like reflexes keep dodging them!
Make your man cooler than a January day in Canada!
I am telling you all about what a blogging whore I have somewhat become because recently Mr. Skipah got an email that has had me on cloud nine, ten, eleven, etc. This rambling, grammatically challenged, blogging dad was recently one of only six recipients to be granted the Oren Miller Scholarship to help offset travel costs next February at the Dad 2.0 Summit conference in America’s weather paradise known as San Diego, California. I may have made some arrangements with my Tijuana contacts to alter the selection process, but let’s pretend I didn’t. That’s right, Mr. Midwest is heading west. I’ll be hopping off a plane at LAX, only not with a dream and a cardigan, but instead hammering high-level negotiations between Avis and Budget car rental clerks. I’ve even got my main man William Shatner in on this, as Mr. Skipah will still be on a budget that the coupon crowd would call tight. Blueberry my new favorite Russian just informed me that Captain Kirk doesn’t pimp Priceline.com anymore, what is this country coming to!
“Skipah you are a dumbass” is what I was just informed!
The last time I was on a bird at 35,000 feet was only a scant fifteen years ago and to say that experience was “memorable” would be like passengers on the Hindenburg saying they enjoyed their flight. A crammed pack 727 with screaming kids, Disney wack-a-moles, and a bad headache from attending a Bible Study Convention the night before (that’s my story and I’m sticking to it) made that plane ride miserable. I swore off flying after that trip, but now I’m looking forward to it! With all the crap life has thrown at me in the past three years, I laugh at the fear of danger.
There isn’t a shortage of Diet Dr. Pepper out west is there?
This kid hasn’t seen anything west of Kansas City, Missouri and now I’m off to San Diego! In a couple of short months, I’ll be hanging out with my fellow dad bloggers, hob knobbing with representatives of The Dollar Shave Club, and hopefully I can find someone to fund my ex-wife voodoo dolls Christmas drive. First thoughI need the denizens of the Skipahsphere to advise me on air travel. The Skipah’s Traveling Road Show can mobilize in mere minutes to hit one of four major airports. Cincinnati, Lexington, Indianapolis, and Louisville are all within 90 minutes of me. Early returns are showing Indy as the cheapest option, but the ‘Nati is coming in at a close second. Anybody got any frequent flyer miles they don’t need? If Cincinnati is the preferred airport of choice, I’ll be sure to stop by the Cincinnati Reds corporate offices and tell them to quit sucking!
Do they have a low-fat option? Is business slow in the cardiology field and this is just an evil plan by a rogue heart doctor?
I’m looking forward to some fresh fish tacos, general camaraderie, and maybe to learn a thing or two about this “marketing” aspect of blogging. For a guy that started this online gig mere weeks after getting blindsided and recovering from a self-induced Bacardi/Clonazepam bender hoping to wake up shaking hands with St. Peter (a meeting that thankfully got postponed) to being acknowledged by my peers in the dad blogging world is quite humbling. Like my divorce, I never saw this coming, but I’m happier than a fat man (another sinker thrown at me by Miss Madison, I’m not exactly at my playing weight these days #love) that got half off at a Hometown Buffett.
Fish tacos and fresh sushi? I might just have to check real estate prices while I’m out there!
About it for now, to quote Ellis “Red” Redding, “Is the Pacific as blue as it is in my dreams?” I can’t wait to find out! Skipah’s Realm hasn’t sold out fully, it’s just “expanded.” Although I would be remiss if I didn’t remind you to enter in my Brentwood Home giveaway that is going on for another ten days! Again…see what I did there?