The internet never lets me down

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Back in March, I wrote a post about World Wide Web users stumbling onto my site from more “nontraditional” search queries.  Amazingly this trend has only gotten worse.  Sunny Leone needs to set up a store in India and she will never have to “shake her money maker” again to earn a buck.  I’m secretly wondering if I’m the owner of the most popular American website in India.  Hopefully, some starry-eyed teenage boy actually put lotion away long enough to read a few pages and pick up some life tips that will serve him well in the future.  Since I’m at a bounce rate of 96% with my Indian brethren I’m guessing the answer is no to that.  Anyway here are more search engine queries that somehow found a way on to my little place on the interwebs.

Skip

Simple enough since the blogs name is www.skipahsrealm.com, however, I was disappointed that upon searching “skip” on the Internet the top spot was held by Skip Bayless twitter profile.  Who is that you ask?  Some douchebag sports reporter on ESPN formerly of the Dallas Morning News.  Skip has been a whiny talking head for years.

Sex advice for women

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Not exactly sure how someone found my website looking for female sexual advice.  If your single hit the gym, be social, always look your best out in public and send me a picture and I’ll make the final determination.  Or just keep plenty of batteries in  your house and keep bitching about your ex.  If you are married quit complaining about a head ache all the time and you will get those new blinds you’ve been wanting and that vacation to Aruba.

Legal separation in Ireland

Not really sure what the correct answer it but, this guy is on the same island so he might be of assistance.  I’m assuming you don’t go around post separation and scream “Kiss me I’m Irish” or maybe that is why you ended up separated in the first place.

Ex-wife pics

If you don’t have any pictures of your ex-wife then I’m going to guess it wasn’t too good of marriage in the first place.  If you are searching the internet for them probably ought to add a name to your search.  A quick Google search brought up a bunch of ex’s memes and poor Terrence Howard claiming he was black mailed by his ex-wife.

I am divorced and have a partner outside of marriage, is it a sin to engage in sexual actions

Well, at least this person has a conscious.  You waited until you were divorced before engaging in any intimacy, and you are worried about it affecting your faith.  I say go for it, you only live once and you are doing it the right way.  Besides even the strictest of all religions are going to tell you after a while “you just need to get laid” when it’s become apparently clear after snapping at a child who is pushing his/her fundraiser at the grocery store.

Healing after divorce for men

This one kind of melts my heart a little bit, if this guy actually got some guidance from me then my work here is done.  My advice is to start a blog, do not tell your ex, let your ex find out and then be prepared to start bankrolling attorneys vacation packages and college funds.  Better yet start a blog, don’t tell your ex and write to your heart’s content.  If you want to share it with friends do so but make sure you password protect that shit (you know kind of like I used to).  Also once you get comfortable in your own blogging skin, you will get out there and talk to the masses in blogger world.  You find all kinds of interesting people and next thing you know they are your friends!  If you have children from your previous marriage do all you can to protect them from the impending hell that you are going through.  It will take your mind of the shitstorm that is brewing and chances are since you aren’t the one that filed you will lean on your children more than you ever thought you would have to no matter what their age is.  It will build a bond with them that no married parent will ever get to experience and hopefully never have to.  Obviously, I could write a textbook on this since I’ve gone through it.  It gets better pal emotionally, now the shitty luck I’ll have to get back to you on that one!

Letter to my daughter on graduation day

I’m sure this is in reference to this post, one of my favorite of all time and amazingly one of my more popular ones.  I think it speaks for itself.

So there is another round of internet search engines results.  Who knows what the next four months will bring.  It’s getting dark in my part of the world and I’ve got the blonde bomber with me tonight.  That only means one thing!  Fireworks!  Coincidentally one of Katy Perry’s biggest hits was “Firework” and I don’t believe in coincidences!  How screwed up is the internet not one search ping of anything Katy Perry even though she’s been tagged zillion times and I’m getting more traffic from horny Indian teenage boys!

Send Skipah Sailing!

22 Comments

  1. I hate to be the bearer of bad news Skipah, and I’m sure Martyn is getting a few hits off the back of the link, but he doesn’t live in Ireland.

    Technically Northern I sland is a part of the United Kingdom, but a separate Island. The Republic is a separate country entirely, although it’s on the same Island as NI.

    I can explain the rules to cricket a bit easier than this, so apologies if it’s not very clear. 😀😀😀😀

  2. LOL that’s a very interesting list of search queries! Too funny!

  3. There is never a dull moment on your blog. Ever.

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  5. Love this summary” My advice is to start a blog, do not tell your ex, let your ex find out and then be prepared to start bankrolling attorneys vacation packages and college funds.”

  6. Yeah…I’m with you on not telling the ex. 😉

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  8. Thanks Sunny I know where to come for all my worldly advice now😉

    • Creepy isn’t it? I was pulling something off this post and hit update so I guess it hit the WP reader again. I actually wrote this back in June. Thanks for stopping by though!

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  10. Some of the search terms that show up on my site are hysterical, always great entertainment.

  11. This is hilarious! I can rarely ever see what the search terms were it almost always says “unknown”

  12. Yeah, it’s time to work out some sort of deal with this Sunny and get a cut of her, ummmm, earnings.

  13. I’m blissfully ignorant about who Sunny Leone is (and I refuse to search it, though I should just to see if the trail circles back to here). I completely agree on Skip Bayless, and I feel the same about Stephen A. Smith.

Tell Skipah all about it!