The KGB conspiracy and other ramblings

Another superb day of weather, another two miles of liberating pavement pounding, and what do I come home to? A drunk hamster. I don’t know if Hammy has an extensive enough pipeline back to Mother Russia to get authentic Russian vodka or enough hamster runners to get the word out to his spy network down at Big Joe’s Liquors but either way Hammy got on a bender while I was out this evening.  Food bowl flipped over, bedding all over the place, water bottle knocked down, his cage looks like a teenage girls bedroom.  I’m thinking sleep deprivation for his insubordination, maybe the warm weather has him feeling frisky.  Little hamster you can protest your conditions all you want, but you aren’t getting a conjugal, nor are you going to run free.  Your new Syrian friend will be here soon enough, and Sloane wants to put you both in the same cage.  My advice to  you is get your underground network hamster spies to smuggle you in a shiv or two so you can get them strategically placed and hidden.  I’m not going to stop you but next time the blonde bomber does a bed check you better have them hidden very well or you are going to get thrown in the torture device known as “the ball”.  You never know what is going to happen at this house I think I’m going to have to start putting Hammy in a closet when I watch The Americans, he’s getting too many ideas lately.  Of all the hamsters in the world, I get stuck with a sleeper KGB agent, one of these days my luck is going to change!  It might be a blessing I no longer have Suebee , they would be conversing in Russian and talking about Rubles, Russian hockey, and the Ukraine problem.  Or Suebee would just eat him, the point it is you can’t trust a Russian living domestically in the states.

Disclaimer:

The previous is all fiction, I have no issues with Russia, I am friendly with all ethnic groups even Kentuckians!  This is just another snippet of the untitled and unreleased hamster spy wars novella that may or may not ever get written.

Lately, I’ve been expanding out of the norm in blogger world.  I’m still an active member in my Facebook:  Dad Bloggers group (those guys rock), but after reading The JackB I realized I’m not in their league in terms of blogging with kids.  Anybody that actually knows me read a few of his posts you will understand why I like his writing.  Underhanded snarkiness is a lost art!  Most of those guys in my dad blogger group have kids still in diapers, or a child on the way, or dealing with the pain joys of raising toddlers.  Since my blog is through WordPress and I have a Google blogger account I have access to literally a zillion blogs some are interesting, some are funny, and some just plain suck (like mine).  I’ve ventured into the world of mommy and lifestyle bloggers too, they write better than me and are way more creative with their blogs.  If there is one thing I’ve learned since blogging is the British are frigging hilarious.  Especially Americanized one’s, when you call your blog BritishMumUSA you totally get it.  Blonde problems and fighting a crippling disease you never lose your sense of humor.  That is what goes on at welcometomycircus.  You even meet people online that have been through situations eerily similar to mine, insidemartynsmind is just that guy.  He home schools his boys (former teacher) and I consider him as much of a  friend as anybody I know personally.  I get to take Sloane to the park, he gets to take his boys to castles!  I never had the desire to go to the U.K. but after reading this I became über jealous.  Two castles within ten minutes!   If you want to get your blog read you befriend the Robin Hood of bloggers Harsh Reality, this guy is Rambo minus the bad acting and cheesy lines in blog land.  Luckily he and I agree on a lot of stuff or I would think he was a dick (just kidding), but he promotes and “pays it forward” in blogger land more than anybody I’ve come across.  Plus when he gets on a rant its literary gold.

It’s one giant melting pot in my world these days, from KGB hamsters to blogger friends I never knew existed a year ago all over the world.  I wouldn’t want it any other way these days, though!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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14 Comments

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  4. Putin is a slippery fellow.

  5. Looks like Hammy got careless. Now that he’s been discovered, someone is going to probably ship him off to Siberia as punishment. I’d be on the lookout for any suspicious hamsters lurking around Hammy’s cage.

  6. Ok dying laughing this morning that darn Hammy… Dude you need to sleep with ONE eye open. Also check under the cage that he isn’t tunneling to mother Russia….

    Thank you sir…. I am songlad and happy that I found your blog. You have a unique and awesome way of seeing life and I love reading about it. It makes me laugh and cry sometimes. You are an awesome special dad… keep up the fantastic work.

  7. Great post! Am not going to lie I don’t know if I laughed more at that hamster story or the fact that you had to put a disclaimer with it!! Brilliant.

    Thanks for the mention too!

    I love the blogging circuit you definitely get to meet and find new people who are in the same situation as you. I’m like you though I read blogs and am slightly overwhelmed by how good some are! It definitely makes me strive to be a better blogger. That being said I am absolutely loving my journey and am happy that I get to have fun and meet people like yourself along the way. Either way turning and focusing on pushing the blog forward is a great thing to do.

    • I don’t want Putin sneaking up on me had to put the disclaimer in! Keep up the good work Martyn, if one of us can figure out a way to get across the pond we need to have a beer…or is a pint?

  8. As a previous owner of hamsters when I was a kid, I hope you post of picture of Hammy some day soon. Preferably before you happen to get SueBee back and Hammy turns into a “Hammy” sandwich. Ahhhhhh snap! But seriously, that sucked, I know it, you know it, but I can’t stop myself. Can’t even delete it.

    Anyway, the blogging world is great isn’t it, and I’m glad we’ve crossed virtual paths as I enjoy your posts. They are original and not like the others, so that’s what helps make you stand out! As Lysa said, love the Hammy stories; keep’em coming!

    • I keep meaning to take a picture of the little spy, he literally went nuts tonight. Like a mini tornado hit his cage, thank for the compliment. I try to be original and just speak what’s on my mind. Blogging world is the best 🙂

  9. Aww shucks man! Thanks for the mention and the very kind words! I’m so very thankful for your friendship!

    Absolutely LOVED the Hammy story tonight! You definitely need to write that novella!

    Much love always,

    Lysa xx

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