Quick update in Skipah land tonight. Hammy is enjoying his vacation better than most humans. He’s brought in a Russian mail order bride for a bartender and has drank enough white Russians to make an alcoholic blush as his vacation is going about as well as a spy hamster’s could. Rosy on the other hand is trying to book a flight back to Syria as soon as she can as she had to undergo more “physical” training this evening. Sloane even set her up an obstacle course and was timing her with her phone. She is stating over and over again that she “Doesn’t want Rosy to get lazy like Hammy!” This poor girl hamster is getting abused more than a vegan at slaughterhouse.
Also I learned today that at the nursing home Sloane gets to deal with FLEAS! Same house that passed a 29 point Indiana Child Protective Services home inspection in December with a 24 hour notice mind you! That looks like a bomb went off any time I pick her up and drop her off, of course I’m met at the door now but you get my point. When I inquired about that I was told the yard and house have been treated, really? Then why is my daughter telling me a flea jumped on her today? This isn’t any small house either, hell my old house was half the size of that house and our old dog (not SueBee) got fleas. They are an absolute bitch to get rid of! So after learning of this today everything that came from that house immediately got thrown in the dryer. I mean really I have to learn of a flea infestation from my daughter! Does common courtesy not apply between two parents? Has it really turned into this, well sure it has, my ex-wife willingly has let me pick up my daughter from a flea infested home and not notified me until my daughter informed me tonight.
Unfortunately due to finances and the fact I wouldn’t want to punish my ex in-laws I’m not reporting this since the ex is moving away. Just the nerve of some people not to inform me that my daughter is exposed to fleas that in turn could be transported to my house is appalling! I get it critters get fleas (still a cat in that house) but jeopardizing my house with the critters over a custody battle is tragically sad. Hopefully they have embedded in her car and can be a problem for her in Lawrenceburg, KY so far I haven’t seen one in my house….YET. If Sloane’s prized hamsters get any there will be hell to pay!
Also update on “Kisses for Karsyn” we have met the $100.00 threshold and Sloane gets her shirt Saturday morning. Expect me to wear this site out with pictures and thank you BritishMumUSA! Your support through all of my woes and custody bullshit has always been heartwarming.
Without further ado though I’m introducing my first ever guest blogger! She has been on me for weeks to let her write something on here and I just wasn’t ready to get into guest blogging. She’s the most beautiful girl in the world (sorry Katy Perry), has her dad’s wit and intellect (thank god), and will flip a double agent spy hamster in a matter of weeks. Mrs. Sloane now has the control of the keyboard to share a story she had worked on in school. Any negative comments and I will get Hammy to sober up for a day and put the hamster KGB army on you! Dad edited it but this is Sloane’s first “short story”, I went in the other room (because I was told to) while she wrote it.
Sloane’s first short story:
Once upon a time there lived a funny Leprechaun. He was so funny that he couldn’t remember where he hid his treasure. He gathered all his friends to help him. But they could not find the gold. One day he saw something on the other side of the rainbow. So he went on a hike towards that side of the rainbow. Then he found a chair, table and an umbrella. He sat down and found a computer. So he started to write a blog. When he was done he posted it and continued his journey. Along the way he met a boy named Garyen who had a dog named Suebee. They both became friends and where going to the other side of the rainbow. When they were almost there they met a frog who had broken its leg. They fixed it and all three of them went to the other side of the rainbow. When they got to the other side all they saw where two pots of gold and a girl Leprechaun. The girl Leprechaun had stolen the pot of gold hoping the boy Leprechaun would marry her and it worked. A week later they had a wedding. Garyen was the guest of honor at the wedding. And every one lived happily ever after. The end.
About it for tonight time to catch more fire flies!
You and I both!
Excellent! I enjoyed the fiction and wish the fleas were fictional, as well.
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No kidding Mike what in the hell have I been doing the past eleven months! She did all of it completely on her own I just had to clean up the spelling!
Thank you Jack, that really means a lot coming from you!
Gary, you’ve been replaced. My favorite part was how he found a computer, started a blog, published it, then continued on his way! Perfect!
Very cool story, the girl has talent. Keep feeding that.
Bwahahaha! I bet I won’t have to correct her spelling and grammar as much! 😉
With all these accolades for Sloane I’m starting to think I suck! Coming soon Sloane’s own blog, titled YouSuckDadI’mbetter.com
Maybe I will give her a bi-weekly column herself, something crafty like Sloane’s Situations.
I would have probably had a them sign a prenup first.
Yeah that would be back patio LOL, no bites or sightings yet thankfully.
Thanks for reading I’ll let her know she is quickly becoming more popular than her dad, which isn’t hard to do.
I’ll pass that along to Sloane, as for the other thing should I really expect anything else out of her?
I don’t know where she gets these crazy ideas, I told her to write what was on top of her head and figured it would be a gushing piece on her hamsters. Shows what I know!
Good job Sloane! I was sitting on the edge of my seat wondering what would happen next probably because I have a certain soft spot for leprechauns .
🙂
Woo-Hoo Sloane! I knew that kid just had to have talent considering who her Daddy is!!!! I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED your story Miss Sloane. I love leprechauns and faeries and wrote a tween novel about a nine year old girl who found out she was an Elfin Princess and she and her Best Friend, who just happens to be a faerie, went on a really cool journey by themselves. I will have to send a copy of my book to you so you can write your very first “blogger book review” for me and I can use it to promote my book. Only if your Daddy says it’s okay though!
Gary I totally feel your disgust, pain, and disbelief in the lack of common courtesy/parental notification about the flea situation. It definitely has my blood boiling. BUT… If you think the flea thing is bad let me tell you a little story about the girls coming back home to my house after their visits at Satan’s house about 5 years ago… This whole ordeal I’m about to share with you lasted for over a year! Yes 1 YEAR! AND the courts would not do a damn thing about the situation nor was I ever awarded reimbursement for the $60 - $100 a month added expenses I incurred do to no fault of my own… It wasn’t fleas it was lice! GROSS!!!!! Long story short he even admitted in court that they didn’t treat their house only shampooed my kids hair the one time and I quote, “I don’t know how many times we shampooed (Satan’s Girlfriends kids names should go here) but it was only a few times. I don’t see what the big deal is or why she had to shampoo their hair and treat the house if they were only the eggs in their hair each time!!!” Can you even believe that? OMG! My head is itching and I have the willies big time just recalling that horrific experience! UGH! Satan is and always has been TPT and Satan’s GF is not much better need I say more? Well, that’s my little show and tell story for the night! My pizza and wings just showed up so as soon as Mr. Wilds brings it back here to me I’m going to pig out!
Nytynite and sweetie dreams!
Much love,
Lysa xx
Well done, Sloane! What a great story!
Perfect! Wonder where she came up with the chair, table and umbrella……..oh yeah, maybe your porch?
Great writing, Sloane, I expect a follow up story how the married leprechauns ran into to a Russian hamster on their honeymoon and cured him of his drinking problem.
Not cool about the fleas. If you are trying to find where one bit you, just start from scratch! #DadPun
She does think like you. . . Way to get the boy AND the money Mrs. Leprechaun!! Good job Sloane!
I.LOVE.SLOANE!!! More stories please!!!!
Way to go, Sloane! Glad to see you following in your daddy’s footsteps. You are a very talented writer, and I look forward to reading more stories!