Things are Cloudy, but I’m not a Cockfighter!

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With the latest news today that a possible bomb caused the tragic Russian airliner to crash over the Sinai Peninsula this past weekend Hammy is convinced he is coming out of retirement!  He’s pulled out all of his old field manuals and was trying to reach his former KGB contacts in the mother land.  He’s currently hanging ISIS and other terrorist propaganda in his cage “sizing” up the bearded wonders and promising them they will get their 72 glorious virgins sooner rather than later if he gets called back to active duty.  Even heard him mention calling up his old camel spy buddy Yosef Rabin to see if he still had any camel double agents working in the field in that sector of the world.  Hammy is taking this kind of personally so I’m letting him have his space, and his vodka.

How freaking stupid are these people?  Sure you can play the U.S. like a fiddle, and they know we keep Israel somewhat on a chain, but you want to play cowboys and indians with Putin?  Have you all lost your mind?  I don’t care how pissed you are about the crap going down in Syria, you just blew up a plane full of rich Ruskies and are bragging about it all over social media.  I’m sure a Russian sticks out in an Egyptian dessert like a penguin in Texas, but hey dipshits ever heard of a fighter jet?  I’m pretty sure Moscow could give two shits about “collateral damages” so go hide in your civilian centers and cause more death to innocent people, because Russians have a temper trust me I’ve lived with one for almost a year.  Get a little vodka in them and access to massive weaponry and good chance you’ve made your last bullshit propaganda video.

I received a bit of good news though yesterday, after all the votes were counted we have a new governor just south of me in Kentucky.  Matt Bevin somehow thumped Jack Conway for the prized spot of running one of the most ass backward states in the union.  Mr. Skipah why is this good news you ask?  Because potentially down the road my daughter may have to live full time in the land of snake handling, horses, and kissing cousins.  The fine citizens of Kentucky elected a man who was caught on camera saying this.  Cock fighting is highly illegal and just inhumane in general.  Seriously they dress these birds up like medieval warriors with more armor than when Barry Bonds used to play baseball, and then let them bludgeon each other to death.  My daughter has to live in a state that just elected a governor who supports it?  It may be a reach in the big battle, but just proves my point again if you don’t live in Louisville or Lexington there is no freaking telling what you are going to run into in that state!  Bad night in general in Kentucky for Democrats the only ones that won state races barely did and were either old money names or the sitting governor’s son.  Still shaking my head on this one, even local media was cracking up about it today.

The past two days having Sloane around has been nothing short of awesome.  Chicken tenders and mashed potatoes with bacon last night (before I get scolded from Miss Madison we also had apples for a fruit choice), and tonight was the monthly community event at school and believe it or not the taco salad not too shabby!    Tomorrow will be American cuisine 101 of cheeseburgers and French fries.  Mr. Skipah had to dust off his math skills and teach her some basic algebra tonight (really third grade, I didn’t learn that stuff until middle school) and she even told me tonight she loves doing homework with me.  To say my heart didn’t melt a bit is an understatement.  Having her here more than just Wednesday this week has been great, like she did at our old house (post separation) she takes it upon herself to be the “woman” of the house.  I wish she got to live the life of a normal eight year old, but that ship has long since sailed (thank god) and she and I do the best to make it work.  That kid is resilient as hell and I couldn’t be more proud of her!

Home Photo Print Delivery by PMJ

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Surprising her at lunch will never get old!

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Best lunch deal in town for $3.25!  (That’s 2.99 in Euros my British pals)

She’s even more excited about Friday when we roll off to Miss Madison’s part of the state.  She’s been asking about Miss Madison Jr. and making scary face art projects while at after school care in hopes to scare the Turtle Man.  The tentative plan is for the matriarch of the Madison clan (that would be the mom Kentuckian) is to take the kiddos to a “kid” movie, while I get to wine and dine Miss Madison for her birthday and then we are off to see the latest James Bond flick.  Since Miss Madison evidently bumped her head at an early age and doesn’t like popcorn (seriously, thank god she likes peanut butter or that might be a deal breaker) it should be a cost effective night at the movies.  Thanks to everybody that gave me a birthday idea or two last week, I’m still pondering what I’m going to do on that front.  Expect a full blown movie review of Spectre on here within the next week though!  I’ve swear I’m still in pinch me mode with her.

  1. Cute…..check
  2. Intelligent…..check (although it is disputed I did beat her at Jeopardy once)
  3. Not a brunette……check (no offense brunettes, I just haven’t had any luck with them)
  4. Rock star parent……check
  5. James Bond fan…….check (she could have a face made for radio and this would still make her “cool” in my book)
  6. Tells politically incorrect Kentuckian jokes….check
  7. Rocks a dress……check

Did, I mention she is cute?  Oh yeah that was number one on the list, I could think of plenty more things but the editorial staff is telling me to wrap this up!  All I can say to my online dating blogging pals hang in there eventually you become the proverbial “blind squirrel that finds a nut” and it makes all the bullshit well worth it!

About it for tonight, Hammy is about to wake Sloane up jamming to “Eye of the Tiger” getting himself back into shape and I’m starting my own political action committee to run for office in Kentucky.  Yeah I live in Indiana, but for Pete’s sake they just elected a dude that openly admitted he likes cock fighting!  If I can get through #SloaneStaysHome you can bet your ass Skipah’s Society of Single Fathers is my next mission, I’ll even funnel funds from the Kentucky legislature!  It’s been done before!

Send Skipah Sailing!

10 Comments

  1. Pingback: It’s an Inside Joke

  2. Pingback: An Update From The Skipahsphere |

  3. Funny stuff, friend! Tell Hammy to not pull any muscles lol 🙂

  4. Words escape me on the cockfighting…
    I’m glad to see Sloane’s lunch looks like the ones from my childhood (and likely yours) My kids’ school lunch meals look like bad buffet food and lack basic nutrition.They pack a lot.

    • I can make this stuff up as hard as I try! For the most part her lunch menu consists of good options, unfortunately little Miss Picky opts for a freaking hot dog most of the time! Although she does religiously eat her salad.

  5. Thanks for the laughter this morning! He supports Cock Fighting??? that is just scary! So glad you and Sloane are having a great time together and Kudos to you for her enjoying doing her homework with you! Especially Algebra!!

    • Yeah he was evidently liquored up (I would hope) and was at a cock fighting event and got caught by the media on a live mic saying he supported it, AND yet still got elected didn’t help the guy he was running against is a career KY politician who has now run for every major office in the state and lost except for Attorney General. Watching Sloane get super frustrated with her home work and then dad swooping in to save the day was quite rewarding!

  6. Algebra sucks, but I bet hearing Sloane say she enjoys homework with you truly was the best. Meanwhile, the other “parent” has her in a cockfighting supported state. Boo.

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