Walmartians!

download (19)I think in my next life I’m going to petition the International Olympic Committee to make Wal-Mart shopping an event.  Not shopping itself but namely people watching.  I had to run to Mr. Walton’s discounted paradise today and in a span of 15 minutes I saw more people wearing pajamas (1:00 pm) than I would see if my daughter’s school had a p.j. party.  Got to see more insane parenting to add to my yet unreleased book “How not to Parent”, and to top it all off somebody got caught shoplifting.  An insane trip today at Wal-Mart to say the least.  Now if we can just get this to the Rio games next year my work here is complete.  I know Kentucky and West Virginia will be strong in this event, but throw in the rest of the damn country I can guarantee our Walmartians (new word boys and girls), will kick the living shit out of the rest of the world in lunacy.  It’s mind numbing to see in person, parents talking to little kids like they are over the road truck drivers talking on a C.B., unattended kids getting into anything they can, and don’t forget the “two” cart families that think it is their god given right to block an aisle.  Walmartians!

The sock dating pool hasn’t come up in a while namely because yours truly is getting a grip on this foreign thing known as LAUNDRY.  However, major turmoil today, three new members were added to the list today.  The remaining members have me tied up in litigation for losing their eternal sock soul mate.  I guess with three new members they can file a class action lawsuit if they want.  Yet another episode of me going back to court.  I think Hammy is secretly sneaking out of his domicile after hours and using them as a chew toy.  I know socks are pretty much against interracial dating, but we might have to make a few exceptions until I can get this situation under control.  If they don’t stop with this lawsuit nonsense though they are going in the trash or Hammy is going to get a major redecoration from his cell…….err cage.

With all the weather nonsense we’ve had around here lately I haven’t gotten a chance to walk, not that I’m packing on the pounds since I eat like once, maybe twice a day anymore.  The one thing about being single that is liberating that nobody tells you while you are going through a divorce is I can eat when I want.  I keep it normal when I have Sloane, but just me I’ll eat when I’m hungry.  No set rules for me!  Felt good to actually get out and pound the pavement again, and I was having so much fun doing it I didn’t quit until I got north of four miles!  Walking and blogging are free therapy, and to actually enjoy the weather for once was great.  This had to be the first time in months it was both warm and sunny at the same time.  Just wish I had Sloane today we would have gotten some serious bike riding.

About it for the night, going to get my ninja gear on and hunt for these missing socks and call the U.S. patent office so I can get full credit for Walmartian!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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33 Comments

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  25. If you are in the right city Walmart can only be described as an “experience”

  26. I’ve heard a lot of stories about Walmart, and read funny memes too. I think you’ll never really know unless you’ve experienced it yourself. 🙂

  27. It’s an experience LOL, I wish I didn’t live right around the corner from it. #bangingheadagainstthewall

  28. I avoid Walmart like the, no, wait, I’d happily choose the plague, Walmart’s worse!

    As you found out I see! I know people who make every Friday night an event by going to their local Wally World and people watching. Funny thing is, is that they are actually part of the Walmartians! I feel I must wash myself thoroughly after stepping foot inside each time.

  29. Finding Walmartians at Walmart doesn’t always happen but when it does it is truly an event worth talking about. The last time I say some females who had on the weirdest tights and there were holes in the tights about butt line–and boy howdy those were some big butts.

  30. http://underdaddy.com/2014/10/12/walmart-for-dummies/ I don’t know if you perused this one or not. I love/hate Walmart. It is awesome.

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