The WordPress Hoosier Dad Blogger

Skipah’s foolproof investment strategy!

There are few things in life you never want to hear in life.  “Honey, I think I’m going to start selling LuLaRoe clothing,” because it will more than likely make your ears bleed.  “Did you enjoy the series finale of Mad Men as much as me?” About as much as I like dental procedures and getting a tick on my genitals.  Hearing “There is a new WordPress update ready to be installed,” will make you seek professional treatment for mass anxiety!

I’ve got WordPress standing by online and a nerdy tech voodoo doll at the ready!

All of us bloggers that rely on WordPress to eventually break the internet suddenly start having a palpating heart and begin calling their local priests, rabbis, pastors, Uncle Henry that only got ordained to marry third cousins, basically anybody that can provide us with some form of divine intervention that everything goes smoothly.  Because if there was ever an outfit that fails miserably at “re-inventing the wheel,” WordPress would get the Nobel Prize Award for it.  Recently WordPress rolled out a new update, and I’m currently in four online therapy groups bouncing topics off each other to ensure that every facet of our digital love children is still working.  So far so good, but WordPress has pulled the bait and switch on us before, so stay tuned.

I remember the “Oh My God” feeling when I was having a little girl!

To say this made me smile would be an understatement.  These are a couple of my British Buddies, and occasionally we like to have a little fun on Twitter.  This day was no exception.  I shrugged it off as, “I’m just guy with a blog,” but there is nothing cooler than earning the respect of your fellow peers for basically just being myself.  I’m an emotional spewer at times, but if they think I’m the voice for single dads (even though one of them has been nominated for a Dad Blogger Award), that’s good enough for me!

Granted I won’t be single very much longer, and late June is the target date if anybody was asking.  Oh, you weren’t asking, sorry I brought it up.  Since I’ll never reach my potential with a Maxim magazine shoot, I’ll just ride off into the sunset as “dad” and live happily ever after once Miss Madison and I tie the knot.  I’ll become an “advisor” for men that qualify for the sexiest moniker in the world…. single dad!  Don’t worry, my lady chasing days are over, my blogging career is booming, and I don’t see any reason to stop now.  Miss Madison did just remind me I haven’t left the laptop for three damn days, between you and me though I haven’t been doing bloggy related stuff.  I’m waiting to see the live birth of a giraffe!

If you are new to here, first let me say hello and thank you for jumping aboard, if you are a long time follower then you know I lost my custody battle.  It was a bigger butt kicking than when the Bears beat the Patriots (yeah, those buttheads weren’t always so good) in Super Bowl XX.   I thought I should have won, I also found out there is no such thing as common sense and he/she with the most money wins.  I didn’t have the most money, so I lost and at times turn this website into my own personal bully pulpit to rail against the best ass wiping set of papers in the state.  The Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines.

I’m guessing getting 37 days is “technically” against the law.  Criminal law that is.  I guess single dad’s don’t matter enough in the social justice warrior department hierarchy.

If I didn’t carry the insurance I probably wouldn’t know what was going on unless my daughter showed up with an appendage missing!

If it involves money (that I’m more than willing to spend) I’m kept in the loop, but if my daughter is Citizen of the Month I’m lucky to get 24 hours notice.

My daughter was unlawfully moved out of state, and legal scholars can call it a technicality all they want, but it is a state law that was blatantly ignored.  Now I could start my own personal fundraiser and raise $16.00 bucks and might get a lawyer to say, “I get to represent the Skipah, my career is over,” but by the time it made its way up the legal chain my daughter will probably be a grandmother by then.  So instead I’m going to give a little tip to my Indiana dads in my same predicament.  YOU GET TO CONTROL THE SUMMER SCHEDULE if your custody arrangement is based on the IPTG.  Divorced dads that agreed to some form of common sense custody arrangement, the next drink is on me at our annual “I got left for that” conference when we meet this weekend for the Hoosiers (the movie) meet’n’greet in Milan, Indiana.  Your baby mamma has a heart, mine………. Miss Madison just stuffed a ball gag in my mouth!

Since I’m marrying a frugal vacationing ninja, I’ve got to strategically plan this out by the end of March.  The Skipah’s Realm research staff was going to look up every state’s custodial laws but she had to go to bed.  My male counterparts you can find some information here, as it pertains to your state.  Did I also tell you I’m marrying a genius?  She’s got potential career making events to attend this summer, plus we are off to Wisconsin to get married, and still want to show all three of our children some of the finer things in life in this country while they are out of school.

Don’t be that dad that isn’t up to date on custody laws in your state.  You are an embarrassment to the Y chromosome if you do.  If I learned anything while I was in San Diego last month it is that dads matter.  Do your part and learn your state’s custody laws.  Single dad, hit me up on any social media outlet you are comfortable with or email me.  I’m here for you, I’ve got the scars and the ginormous debt to prove it.  You are not alone!

About it for now, still crossing my fingers that this latest WordPress update will allow everyone to read this post.  Single dad, you got this and if you don’t think you do I’m going to put a size 10.5 up your butt to make you realize you do!  Indiana dad, if you don’t get your way this summer on custody then you can only blame yourself.  The IPTG is worthless if you must depend on it when it pertains to law, but the one thing it does give us control of how we roll when school is out.  We call the shots in the summer, so load up your proverbial gun and go enjoy the summer when you get your child(ren) as much as you possibly can!

 

 

 

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17 Comments

  1. I think Miss Madison is the perfect match for you & Sloane 😊 Custody rules differ in the UK – my children lived with me full time but until they were 16 they spent near enough every other weekend at their father’s as well as 2 weeks in summer & a week between Christmas & New Year and a week at Easter. On the whole,it has been pretty amicable & we often swopped weekends if we needed too. My eldest left home at 16 and decided to live with his father full time, but his siblings didn’t follow suit. This was 15 years ago for me so rules/outlook may have changed.
    Linda Hobden recently posted…An Interview With Kites & BitesMy Profile

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  3. Congrats on your upcoming nuptials Gary. I’m sorry about the ugly custody battle and loss, and you have every right to use your platform to voice your journey. 🙂
    dgkaye recently posted…Memoir Bytes – Sing Me No Songs Piano ManMy Profile

  4. Only a 10.5 shoe? You have small feet! My husband wears 14.5. If your shoes smell as bad as his does, make sure you keep them far from the fenale’s in your life’s noses. If you had a cat would be the only creature in your house that could not only survive the stentch, but stick their head all the way inside to get a better dose of the hideous smell! Your dog Karma would probably try to burry them as far from the house as possible!

    Why did you guys decide to take your vows in the evil state of WI? Trying to curse the union before it ever gets a fair shake? Had hopes you and Miss Madison would be a wonderful teaching team for your respective off spring, but from what I am hearing abour the nuptial plans, who knows!
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  5. Each state has some ridiculous laws around divorce and child custody. You have a lot to look forward to with your upcoming nuptials and hopefully a summer with Sloane!

  6. Lawd, you gotta meet up in Milan? I have spent time in Milan. Sorry.

    I just want to say that the custody decisions generally do not default to the best interest of the child. I rarely see one that does. And that’s mothers and fathers, not that I don’t see your point, having been raised by my own father for 8 years, and having been the full-time mom in another custody situation — I do see your point. Just it seems to be … not justice-y. Too subjective to rely on.

    Miss Madison will be a beautiful June bride 😀
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    • It’s the cast of Hoosiers! I mean c’mon I can’t pass that up :). I hear ya on the custody b.s., it’s the reason lawyers drive a caddy and I drive a Chrysler.

  7. Father’s rights need more attention, single or married! Nice choice for the June date, great for birthdays too.
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  8. Frugal vacationing Ninja! She already seemed great…
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