Editor’s Note: This originally posted on January 25, 2015
Greetings all from Skipah land, no blog post last night for the 23 people reading, had some personal issues come my way. All is good in the hood per se, pretty exciting Sunday actually. Joined a fantasy baseball league with some other guys in the ever popular Facebook: Dad Bloggers group. A running commentary of kids, work, women, beer, sports, and busting balls. The Sock Dating Pool gained no new members, and the remaining members have unionized now hired an attorney and everything! Demanding I take action so they can get back in comfy confines of the “sock and boxers” drawer.
With no child, finances that would get me kicked out of a soup line, and no nagging wife I read up on how to fix second grade basketball games. I think I have a fail proof plan and will convey it to Sloane on Wednesday. Needless to say I don’t foresee shelling out any money on concessions this year, the other dads (and moms) will be paying me off 20 ounce twists off one at a time! Not since Boston College point shaving scandal has a better gambling plan been hatched. Just have to convince a couple of other girls to join in (promise them a trip to Disney and dinner with Elsa) and we are going to be good to go!
Yesterday also was open house at my daughter’s school, her mother conveniently no-showed after promising to work a table, but it didn’t deter me. Talked with her teacher for a bit and found out my daughter is a PRODIGY. Ok, that might be a little strong, but she is doing great and I couldn’t be more proud of her. Since I’m still having trouble predicting lottery numbers correctly, the picture listed above is my next get rich scheme. It’s going to be marketed as “ex-wife” voodoo doll. The supplies needed are as follows:
5 cinnamon sticks
1 hair scrunchy
1 burned out four ounce candle
1 old craft of your child’s that involved eyes
I will whip these up for anybody that needs one, at a price that would make Amazon go out of business, at skipahsrealm.com we also cater to females. Ex-husband who is a douche send me an email and I can fix you up. This is my new go to outlet for dealing with my ex, she runs to her attorney I shove a bobby pin in my doll. In all my stubbornness and stupidity I don’t know why I didn’t think of this earlier.
You know when you ask your ex simple things that she refuses to answer like “What about Sloane and school next year”, I hear nothing but crickets. Ask about trading days for damn near a week, more crickets. Ask one too many times about something relevant to our daughter and add colorful language sometimes, BAM lawyer! Let’s go to court you are harassing me! Whoever does the billing for her attorney should be suing for workman’s comp for the soon to be carpal tunnel syndrome he/she is probably experiencing? I’ll take my temporary setback in a couple of weeks and go on about myself.
It’s supposedly called Co-Parenting, from everything I read up on it the topic of Co-Parenting I missed the chapter that said “Ex-wife is stubborn, and you have a penis so you are screwed in family law.” I mean it is literally bullshit; fathers have zero rights in family law. Yeah there is the minimum you are granted for being the chief sperm donor, gee thanks Indiana, but if mommy wants to be an asshole about it she gets to.
If you are a man with children and getting divorced you better be Bill Gates rich, or getting divorced from a crack whore, and even with Bill Gates money nothing is guaranteed. I know that there are plenty of shit ball dad’s that killed it for all of us (my dad for sure!) but really! Last time I checked it takes a man and a woman to have a child, yet because some judge or lawyer who has never spent one day with you in the inner workings of your day-to-day life either when married or post-divorce they know what is best for your child or children.
Based on what! A bitter ex-wife? Because some stupid dirt bag male(s) was a manwhore and piece of shit father. I and other dads have to suffer for that bullshit, and hell I’m luckier than most my ex-wife was an idiot and needed to give me more time than necessary so she could run off to Appalachia to see Mr. Wonderful. I had to spend damn near 7,000 dollars to see my daughter eight days a month during school. If that seems fair to you then go jump off a bridge!
Men and parenting get a crap wrap, mommy gets to blow off Brownie events and school commitments and it doesn’t get used against her even though “dad” has made every effort possible to be interactive with his daughter. My daughter can tell you at a drop of a hat how many meetings and events her mom missed, she even told me last week that I would have never missed a Brownie event if I had her more. Yet I get to go to court again because I asked one too many times about subjects related to our daughter! I’m now going to remove myself from the soap box! Family law for a man is and will remain BULLSHIT!