A Legendary Night!

In case you are wondering this is not my front yard.

In case you didn’t know, it’s no small secret that watching men with big heavy bats swat little round spheres all over well-manicured lawns is one of my favorite sports.  So, this Monday I thought “what the hell,” let’s head off to horse country affectionately known as Lexington, Kentucky for a riveting Class A ball tilt between the Lexington Legends and the Greenville Drive.  Like this 40-year-old dude has nothing better to do after a long day at the office than drive 90 minutes one way to watch a bunch of 18-22 year old men chase a dream.  

I’m pretty sure the Kentucky Transportation Department is going to demand I start paying my fair share in road taxes.

As much as I love baseball, it’s going to take more than the idea of ballpark nachos on Monday night to have me traveling that far to watch a game.  Unless…….my beautiful daughter and her classmates are singing the national anthem for the home team.  Excuse me boss, do you think I can cut out a little early?  I’ve got to do some scouting for future Boston Red Sox and Kansas City Royals prospects plus I get to spend some bonus time with my daughter!

It doesn’t get any hokier than Minor League baseball!

We now interrupt this post for yet another adventure in my yet unreleased novel, “Co-Parenting:  It’s A Woman’s World, I Just Live in It.”  I may need to tweak that title since I know of plenty of women that co-parent pretty damn well.  Since communication about school events regarding Sloane have been an issue for two years now, I was told to follow the world leader in school communications, aka the school’s Facebook page, by the freaking principal!  Now as many of you know, you could post/follow something on Facebook and it might be next January before it shows up on your Facebook feed.  Last Monday morning though, the baseball gods had a plan for me to meet with my daughter that evening as I saw this scroll across my feed:

Weird, I would have thought Sloane’s mother would have told me about this one.

Strange, that is the first “concrete” date I had heard of this event.  Sloane had mentioned a future National Anthem singing in the future but had nary an idea of when. I immediately sprang into action with a text message to my daughter’s mother also known as my ex-wife, and the other 500 words she goes by in my lexicon.  What I got was a response of good ole fashioned frontier gibberish and what a bull excretes after eating too much feed.

Flummoxed by the response and now my Spidey senses have kicked it up to “The Green Goblin is near” mode on this obvious dung of an answer since Sloane has told Miss Madison and I she wanted to participate.  Well, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention I fixed the communication loophole with school (except with the principal, I guess when the school board and superintendent put you on standby you get a little chafed), but Sloane’s wonderful teacher keeps me apprised of everything going on so I sent her an email asking what the deal was and if Sloane would be participating.  She responded immediately to let me know Sloane was dressed and mucho excited to show off her pipes singing Francis Scott Key’s greatest hit.  Worth mentioning after all of this day long drama, Sloane only had one parent at the game and I don’t live 20 minutes away.

I owe her teacher a bushel of apples or some of the finest wine from Napa Valley, because before the day was over she even informed me when she learned what section the students would be sitting in.  Between some other drama going on at school (nothing Sloane nor I can’t handle for now) and this, there will be an official letter going to the superintendent and the school board about how wonderful Sloane’s fourth grade teacher is.  I pay it forward when I’m able to, and what school administration wouldn’t be proud to know one of their own got a five-star rating from a blogger?  That’s better than a letter of commendation from the Department of Education…..right?

After all that I threw on the super dad cape in the phone booth at the local gas station and it was off to Lexington, KY for baseball, my daughter, and more fun for two hours than that time I hit five winners on Derby Day last year.  Dudes, if you overcome this obvious charade of misinformation and don’t “Dad the F Up” then I’m calling you out at the next Divorce Force club meeting for being a selfish bastard yourself.

Divorced dads, this is what a surprise drop in looks like!  Made the whole damn day of lies and misinformation worth it!  Black box is because the internet is a crazy place and I don’t need some whack-a-mole knowing where the blonde bomber goes to school!

I’ve never been to a South Atlantic League Class A baseball game before.  To say I would go back is an understatement!  I felt like an extra during filming of Bull Durham at times.  The atmosphere is more laid back than a stoner convention, the staff knows everybody by name, and watching a pack of young men and women feel like the stars of the show for one night was priceless.  I estimated the attendance to be around 150 with Sloane’s delegation making up 30% of that.  I’m sure on a Monday night in Lexington there are more pressing things to do like read the latest Big Blue Nation blog post or emptying your spittoon, but damn I need to get with the media relations department of the Lexington Legends and maybe have my upcoming bachelor party there.

I hope that when Tim Tebow rolls into to town later this season they draw at least 500 attendees.  I’ve seen more people at a local school board meeting.

While Sloane and the gang were in line to cash in on their concession stand vouchers, this striving ballpark tour guide took that time to make his way over every inch of this yard.  Whitaker Bank Ballpark is damn cool is the final verdict.  Quaint, cozy, and they even have a bar and deck so you can break bread with the home team bullpen pitchers.  I’m sure every Tuesday on dollar beer night there are some serious life lessons going on out in right field.  Grown ass men drunk on watered down beer lecturing some 18-year-old kid from the Dominican Republic how to throw a curve ball and find the best titty bars in the Lexington, Kentucky area.  

Damn, they take dollar beer night pretty damn serious around here!

Trouble with the Curve apparently was filming a sequel!  

I’m thinking a future “guys” night out is in works.  Bachelor party anyone!  I promise you Lexington Legends media department we will fill the right field party deck!  


Possibly the best two hours of my life with Sloane, nothing special, I didn’t kill any spiders or read a bedtime story, it was just because I was there!  That expression when she saw me was something I will never forget.  Custody battle losses suck worse than cheap hookers, hell it sucks worse than if you could afford an expensive hooker, actually, prostitution is illegal so let’s start that sentence over.  Losing sucks period!  Losing when you are doing it right just builds your resolve and makes nights at the ballpark worth every lawyer bill and bullshit conversation you ever had with your baby mama.  

In case your forgot since I’m running a tad long, here is the Cliff Notes version:  Mother lies to child’s dad in hopes he doesn’t get to see his daughter (I’m assuming, I mean blatant lie), then same mother doesn’t even make the 20 minute drive to see her child perform the national anthem at a Major League Baseball affiliated league.  Narcissism is ugly, when it involves a child it is downright criminal!  Before I get accused of grandstanding from the “man hater” club, I will gladly remind you I never missed a softball game last year or any school event that I was given previous knowledge of.  Some call it a burden, I call it being a dad.  90-120 minute drives are nothing for me when it comes to seeing my daughter.  I would jump in my automobile in ten minutes and drive across the country if Sloane threw up the bat signal that she needed me.   

Awesome night, Big L was a hit and I can’t wait to visit this yard again!

About it for now, the term “daddy’s little girl” has never been more relevant.  I can’t wait to attend my next Lexington Legends game, granted they are affiliated with the Kansas City Royals and not a team that rhymes with beds, but that team will always be a bright memory for me and the night I “Dadded the F Up” for my daughter!

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  1. You’re a brilliant dad Gar. And I know only too well what life was like growing up as a child with a narcissistic mother. 🙂

  2. Well no wonder you wrote such a long post, you are one proud Dad! When I was the single mom with two girls and no help, I did what it took to get them to their events. No problem! I did not have to drive that far, but time off work back then was not always easy to do. Keep up the great work, Sloane will never forget your sacrifices!

  3. Great work you sound like an awesome dad!

  4. Awesome Gary! I know she was overjoyed.

    • Seeing her jumping up and down when she saw me among the 25 other folks at the game was priceless. I don’t know what pissed me off more, the fact her mom didn’t want to even tell me about it, or she didn’t even show up because according to Sloane “She couldn’t leave her husband alone that night.” Sounds like some geriatric “thunder under the covers” excuse to me, but whatever, I’ll keep letting her dig that hole with her actions. It’s getting big enough now, I’ll even donate the damn shovel to make sure it is good and deep!

  5. Did you snag yourself a team t-shirt or a cap? Sounds likes you had a great night and worth the road trip….

    • Definitely worth the trip, hell I would walk that far if I had to in order to make sure Sloane had a parent there! As for souvenirs….they were wanting Major League pricing on gear, and I was on a Minor League budget.

  6. What a lovely post. I must say though coming from England, I am more familiar with cricket than baseball. Must be nice for you to do dad and daughter things.

  7. The struggle is real and the frustration is understandable. We have a similar issue, though we have been fortunate so far that B’s K and 1st grade teachers have emailed us about everything from grades, assignments, and special events. IN particular important dates such as when our custody begins…considering the Colorado school district seems to change dates around often considering frequent extreme weather days.

    And somehow mother dear is always caught in the lie, attempting to take out of the only 9-10 weeks we have for the entire year to begin with.

    • I truly believe unless you have lived through the b.s., it really his hard to explain to the “common” folk. Freaking courts just “embolden” people to act like assholes without any checks and balances unless you want to fund another attorney vacation.

  8. You are an awesome Dad! I can’t imagine not attending my children’s events. They are in middle school and high school and I hold each on dear to my heart. She is missing out on so much and hopefully one day she will realize it before it is gone.

    • Yeah me neither, I drive all over the country to make sure to attend anything I can. I keep getting told I’m doing it right by woman that grew up in similar cases, so hopefully this rings true in the future for me!

  9. Minor-league baseball is great. Fortunate we have three teams within driving distance as well as the Phils (who are actually playing at a major league level at times). Whitaker Bank looks like a very neat place to take in a game. Good dad story (albeit “edited”)!

    • As one baseball nut to another, Whitaker Bank Park is pretty damn cool to take in a ball game. Sight lines were top notch, the atmosphere was dead that night, but I’m sure on a weekend it gets rowdy, I will say though the concessions were below average.

  10. Geez, I guess some battles never truly end. Glad you got the cool news and made it out there for a surprise appearance. Dads rule, nuff said!

  11. The only baseball I can tolerate is at the level of leagues you went to to watch your little girl! That level of leagues is much more family friendly than major league baseball ever was!

    Your little girl is lucky to have you as her dad! Now, Miss Madison will get to make an appearance in your daughter’s life so she can learn what a real mom is like!

    Both you and Miss Madison make a better home for your child to grow up in. Can’t wait until the wedding of the year happens! (Unfortunately, it is in the state of WI)

  12. Dad’s gotta do what dad’s gotta do. The level of bullshit from an ex that you just described should be considered criminal indeed. She didn’t even come herself?!? Unbelievable. Good for you. Sloane will always know you’re her dad, not just her father. 😃👊🏻

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