The soon to be centerpiece of my next landscaping project. Just don’t tell Miss Madison!
Is your bracket busted? In line to win a trip to Hawaii via Espn.com? Is Wicked Wanda the receptionist kicking your ass in the office tourney pool? Hopefully, your favorite university is one of the final 16 left to win the whole thing. My favorite team recently fired their coach, so I’m treating this tournament as a scouting mission for the next coach of Indiana University. That is unless Brad Stevens is reading this, and I would tell him to please come back to Indiana! Hoosiers don’t belong in Boston for extended periods of time. Yeah, I know the Boston Celtics are young, good, and only going to get better, but Mr. Stevens, if you are reading this I beg and plead of you to lead the big state school back to prominence!
Speaking of Hoosier legends, one of our own made me Twitter famous for a day. ESPN commentator, Indianapolis radio show host, and the man who shut down Michael Jordan in the NCAA tournament way back when retweeted this post! That would be none other than the great and hilarious Dan Dakich! His retweet had me getting more traffic than a Tuesday night in Wheeling, West Virginia during a blizzard. So, to quote Ice Cube’s, “Today was a Good Day” last Thursday. Now if I can get him to retweet this post, maybe I’ll move up the internet traffic ladder to something akin to Rancho Cordova, California on a Friday afternoon.
Since I’m all about #HoosiersHelpingHoosiers, you can find Mr. Dakich’s radio show here, and if you need a good laugh from time to time on Twitter I would highly recommend following him. I’m feeling so generous I’ll even save you the time to search for him, just click this link press the magic “follow” button and thank me later. If you are a University of Kentucky fan, I would encourage you to tweet some pompous Big Blue Nation garbage at him, give me a heads up first though so I can have plenty of popcorn popped and tasty beverage to wash it down with as I am reading comedic gold. Mr. Dakich, if you are ever in the Madison, Indiana area (and why wouldn’t you be), the Yuengling is on me for a round!
We now move on from the basketball portion of Skipah’s Realm, well wait a minute, I broke my own cardinal rule of thumb with my picks. Never trust anything or anyone from Philadelphia, PA is what they taught me when I was a young lad in school. So, thirty years later, I put the farm on Villanova University in my own bracket. Thanks guys, you all owe me a gift certificate from Geno’s, I’ll be in the area in a couple of months and a good old fashioned cheesesteak is the least you could do for me.
Other big news of the weekend, no I still don’t have custody of my daughter, but I would love to be a fly in the room in a few days when I drop the summer schedule on her. Remember, Indiana non-custodial parents, you have until April 1st to set the summer schedule how you see fit to spend time with your little loved ones. For Sloane and me, it’s just a ho hum trip with Miss Madison and the gang through the aforementioned Philadelphia, a visit to Diggerland for the Turtle Man, and then some Jersey fun on the shore. That’s just a warm up before we spend a week in Door County so Miss Madison and I can say “I do” in front of everybody. Sloane only gets eight weeks of summer, I must make my half count!
Not sure what we are going to do in July without the matriarch of our clan. We should be happily married by then, but she is leaving me anyway for a few days to go see all things New Haven, CT. No, it’s not some kinky swinger’s convention she is planning on attending, more like she was one of a few elite teachers selected for the Gilder Lehrman Institute for American History grant to attend a seminar Yale University. My sixth-grade English teacher told me I would never amount to anything, I call bullshit on that one, I’ll be married to the cutest future Ivy Leaguer on the planet! To say I’m proud of her would be an understatement. Her application to them had more rewrites and edits than a script for a Godfather remake, but she pulled it off and will be learning in depth about how early Americans survived in this country with wild buffalos, Indians, and no wi-fi.
I might go with her just to join the rowing team, I haven’t made up my mind yet.
Speaking of Indians (not our Native American friends), this guy recently learned all about Indian cuisine. Miss Madison thought I needed to diversify my culinary talent and signed us up for an Indian cooking course. I was leery at first, but it’s well documented I’m clueless. It was another road trip to Cincinnati to learn some unique and mysterious techniques from the good folks at Bolly Bears. Holy crap is all I can say. Did you know Turmeric is some kind of wonder spice? After our instructor explained all the benefits of it, I fully expected to grow a few inches on my pecker before the evening was over.
Findlay Market, neat place the next time you have some time to kill in Cincinnati.
Where has authentic Indian curry been all my life? Granted, you might need to take a small loan out for all the spices it involves, but you can pay loans off. Memories are worth their weight in gold, and that is one night I will never forget. Even better if your digestive system has been a tad clogged up, Indian food will flush that clog right out within 24 hours. Not since General Tecumseh Sherman marched through Atlanta has something marched through my system so fast. “Eat with the right hand, wipe with the left” is a cultural etiquette tradition in the land of India. I don’t know if Mahatma Gandhi coined that phrase or what, but I will reiterate Indian cuisine is delicious! This ends the portion of the blog also known as T.M.I.
Miss Madison and I passed the pop quiz, and won our very own spice packet. Ass powder is short for Asafoetida, it’s also known as “The Devil’s Dung.”
About it for tonight, I’m calling Brad Stevens’ wife and reminding her how hospitable we are in Indiana. I know I have a better shot of finding my missing socks in the laundry, but all she can say is no, right? Times are good in the Realm these days. Sloane is absolutely thriving at her school right now, my fiancée just got a major potential career changing opportunity, and well I’m still here pecking away at a keyboard. But I’m still smiling nonetheless, all the women in my life make me proud to be associated with them each and every day!
#SloaneSupportsStJudes update. She sits at $365.00 and I’ve emailed the local Walmart about making up the difference so they can get some pro bono employment from yours truly. As of this writing no answer from the Walton Gang, but you can make this a reality by donating as little as five dollars to St. Jude’s Children Research Hospital.