Californication: The Coronado Conquistador

I wonder if they would be willing to let me do a review?

During 40 plus years breathing on this planet we call earth, I’ve slept and woken up in some strange places.  Someone’s backyard?  (That’s so high school!)  Enjoyed the comfort of some Serta certified concrete slab?  Been there and have the stiff back to prove it.  Tried out the front seat of a vehicle over the cozy confines of my couch.  Guilty as charged.  Hell, I’ve used the back of a pick-up truck as a temporary Hyatt at various points in my life.  Last Thursday, February 9th I added something new to my slumber catalog, I woke up in a rented R.V. in California!

Would I live there? Not unless I hit the lottery anytime soon, and I don’t see that happening.  Visit there, anytime I have the chance!  By the way California, what in the hell is up with your radio ads for the lottery.  Sung to the backdrop of the Mammas and the Pappas “Californian Dreamin’,” they come off as a cross between depression treatment and a promotion for a telethon.  If I hit the lottery, I want to be happy, not feel guilty because I just became rich.  Can I get a ruling on this, California residents?  Powerball ads were about the only complaint I had about San Diego area radio, I was jamming every day to just about any genre of music I felt like.

After a quick mention back home to my friends (Facebook) that I was wearing shorts with half a day to kill before I headed off to the Dad 2.0 Summit, my first stop was to the land-tied island of Coronado (connected by a tombolo…that’s your big word of the day) to take in all things Pacific Ocean and the rumor of one of the best beaches in the world.  I was in shell comber mode because my surfing skills would have landed me in San Diego General and my winter Indiana shade of pale white would have probably had me put on some endangered species list if I attempted to get in the water.  I also wanted to check out the world famous Hotel del Coronado just so I could see how the rich and famous spend their time while on vacation.

Per my Pacific Ocean savants, I had a banner day collecting sea shells.  I was a tad disappointed because on the other side of the country, the Atlantic Ocean gives them up like clowns passing out candy at a Bozo look-alike convention.  I did manage to nab the biggest damn fully intact clam I had ever laid eyes on.  Once I dug it up out of its sandy prison, I was fully expecting to find enough pearls in there to finance keeping the San Diego Chargers from relocating.  Alas, it was empty, but between the clam, an animal jaw bone that still had some of it original teeth, and some sand dollars that I was going to use for potential barter for a future trip to Tijuana later that week, it was a good day.

Sadly the clam didn’t survive intact once it arrived its new loving home in Indiana

From there it was a trip south to Imperial Island for more shell combing and just to say I had been there.  I would call this a hidden gem on the California coast, but my knowledge of California at the time consisted of crazy tax rates and legendary L.A. traffic.  I would say if in the vicinity, give it a gander, I found a few more sand dollars for my Mexican future adventure collection and learned that the Pacific Ocean has a lot of weird crap that washes up.  I don’t know what the hell they are throwing in the water out in Hawaii, but good golly you see some strange stuff wash up!  Since my Android suddenly has a battery that couldn’t power a night light anymore, my picture taking skills were limited.

This is what I used to look like in my twenties!

Quick tangent what has happened to Androids?  Shut up, you forbidden fruit loyalists, ever since the epic fail of the Galaxy Note and their thermonuclear batteries, my phone (and many others) can’t keep a charge for more than a few hours.  Granted I run a website, escort service, and top secret gambling conglomerate from my phone, but geez!  This would be an underlying theme for the rest of the week for me and my cell phone, my car charger evidently caught some kind flu bug because rabid snails could charge faster.

With all my sightseeing done for the day, it was time to meet the titans of the dad blogging industry at the Dad 2.0 Summit.  To say this is a top-notch production would be insulting.  I had to be at the rookie class at 5:30 to be thoroughly hazed.  It involved a secret handshake and rituals that would get you arrested in 32 countries if I told you what it involved, so just trust me it was worth it.  Thursday was just a warm up for the festivities to come, but the good men and women that are part of the title sponsor Dove Men+Care made sure all of us dads were well fed and entertained for the evening.  Throw in some desserts from the ultra awesome folks at Kia Motors, and it was a great precursor for a wonderful couple of days.  I finally met some online friends for the first time ever, and found out these dudes are cooler than I ever imagined.

Dove Men+Care brought #RealStrength to all the dads in San Diego

Thanks to #KiaDad there were more Kia’s on San Diego pavement last week than cyclists.

About it for now, Miss Madison insists that it is in the engagement handbook that I spend at least 15 minutes with her on Valentine’s Day……joke joke joke, I told her I would give her 30!  Stay tuned, plenty more to come from Skipah’s Californication!

BJ’s wholesale website -
Send Skipah Sailing!


  1. You collected an animal jaw bone?? Should collect driftwood. Then turn it into wooden Christmas trees and sell them. Those things sell for enough to finance that expensive Californian home (without needing to win the weird Mamas and Papas lottery)!

  2. Well, they wouldn’t win me on the food, but all sound like great folks! Really making me think New Orleans would be fun!

  3. My surfing skills would have had me washing up on the beach in the face of somebody looking for sand dollars. Are you sure that engagement handbook doesn’t say 15 hours instead of 15 minutes? Maybe there is more than one copy… 🙂

  4. I loved your description of Galaxy Note 7 batteries, Gary. If Samsung can no longer manage to use them in their phones, perhaps they could license the technology to a weapons manufacturer somewhere. I’m sure they’d make excellent tactical nukes.

  5. You’re talking about my homeland! #CaliforniaGirl 🙂

  6. Be glad all you found were shells and sand dollars on the Coronado beaches. Last year at this time, they were finding Venomous Sea Snakes. But I guess those snakes heard the Skipah was in town and didn’t want to mess with you.

  7. The weather looked superb! Looking forward to hearing more about your California adventures 😊

  8. How fun to be referred to as Pacific ocean Savant, LOL! Sorry about those seashells, guess they’ve all been picked over. I forgot you were staying in the AirB&RV. Looking forward to seeing more of SD from your eyes 🙂

Tell Skipah all about it!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.