Two unassuming folks just became internet famous!
Day two of the Dads 2.0 Summit was alive and kicking when I rolled up to the Hyatt-La Jolla headquarters of our secret handshake club for dads. Learning from my parking faux pas from the day before, I had strategically positioned my rental vehicle in an undisclosed location for a nice leisurely stroll. I had also hired local law enforcement to guard my rental from any undesirables that had decided to practice their cursive skills on my car with a key. I wasn’t about to lose my deposit because somebody wanted to let the world know that Jack loved Jill on the hood of my vehicle.
Nothing like pork products to kickstart your day!
First stop was to hear former Walter Payton Man of the Year Charles “Peanut” Tillman speak of all the wonderful things about fatherhood. Donning a pink blazer that maybe only six dudes in the whole universe could pull off (I’m not one of them), he wowed us all with his amazing speech. From there Skipah the dad had to turn into Skipah the master pitchman and it was off to visit all the wonderful people that make things like this possible. I would have amazing footage of Mr. Tillman, however, my not so mighty Android overslept the night before or his owner didn’t realize that to “charge” a phone you need to have the non-phone end of the charger in an appropriate electrical receptacle. So, while Mr. Tillman was speaking my phone was getting revitalization treatment at the local Android spa via a 110 outlet.
I didn’t think it was appropriate for me to mention the 2006 Super Bowl when the Colts beat the Bears.
First stop was to meet the wonderful people at Russell Athletic. In case you didn’t know Russell Athletic has been around since before just about any of us were born. In a scoop you are only going to hear on this website first (or from any other dad blogger you might enjoy), coming soon will be a completely affordable line of #Dadlete gear for all the men in your life at……dare I say it…. Walmart! That’s right Russell Athletic is vying to win your hard-earned dough at America’s discount paradise as opposed to spending it on gear at those high-end sporting good stores. I know maybe three people who find a Walmart shopping experience “pleasant,” never fear all this gear will be available online. Walmart pricing without the headache of watching some of the finest in parenting when some unruly brats decide to redecorate the toy aisle. That’s a win-win!
Postscript: Because of my travel arrangements heading home, I ended up wearing my Russell Athletic Cool Force shirt for the equivalent of two days and it stood the test of time!
Russel Athletic, trying like hell to make your Walmart experience pleasant!
From there it was a quick trip down the hall to the world’s favorite spot to vent. No, I’m not talking about your family reunion, more like Facebook! While Mr. Zuckerberg wasn’t there personally, he did send some of his most qualified agents to help promote his company and their willingness to work with the dad community. I would have done an interview with them to be featured all over the world, but I’m shy and the wait time was the equivalent of sitting in L.A. Traffic.
Since I’m a #FBDad I got a hat, since I’m an entrepreneur I will sell it to a Millennial for $100.00 bucks! An extra 50 for an autograph, dads got to eat to!
You can ask Miss Madison, when the Skipah has been out all day plowing the fields and tending to the cattle at our 8,000 acre ranch, he gets stinky. Miss Madison just reminded me I’m to farming what naked pictures of your grandma are to lowering teenage masturbation rates. What I meant to say is sometimes guys get all sweaty and our favorite deodorant lets us down after a while. When your company tag line is: Built for Guys, Loved by Women, you know you might have stumbled onto something good. Let me introduce you to #Hero Clean. These folks wowed me so much with their knowledge on how much dudes stink, I felt obligated to do a sit-down interview with them. Not sure when and where it will air but stay tuned, I’m especially looking forward to working with them in the future. I may write the review or let Miss Madison, but to say these people were awesome would be an insult to them. Plus, the kind lady that I worked with said she liked my smile, so of course I must gush about them!
Cleaning products specifically to rid your house of stinky man scent, what an idea!
By now my breakfast was wearing off fast, and I saw these cute little snacks that I figured might give me enough energy to make it through the rest of the day. Thankfully, Plum Organics was more than willing to let me eat my weight in their little snack cracker treats. Once I was done munching on them I made a mental note to buy 2000 bags of them when I got home. Plum Organics will have all the little (and big) people in your home eating healthier than ever. On top of that, they were the kindest people on the planet and had culinary knowledge that would have Mensa members scratching their heads!
#ParentingUnfiltered I thought was kind of catchy.
That concludes today’s sponsor report from Skipah’s Realm. I didn’t visit everyone because my newborn days are long gone, but these companies invested a ton of time and energy making all of us dads feel special.
Off to the make-up room before I do my photo shoot for Dads in the Buff-San Diego Style! We are estimated to sell 25 copies to the local women’s prison.
Before I headed off into the San Diego afternoon to start counting down the days until next year’s conference in New Orleans, I had a little sit down with a representative with the super successful Reality Moms T.V. I was interviewed for what seemed liked two hours, it might have been two minutes for all I know. She said I crushed it, I said send me a bill for the new camera she is going to need after I cracked it with my looks. Either way, it was a good time, and I met her husband…AKA…Tough Daddy. Tough Daddy and I connected from the start (I think), if I had a bank account the size of Manhattan he and I would have spent the rest of the day sipping Mai Tai’s and throwing rocks at sea lions shooting the breeze. Of all the people, I met and interacted with I’m happiest I met him, and I would be remiss if I didn’t thank his wife for the interview.
I added #KiaDad to my list of camera casualties before I headed out of town. Hopefully, this image can at least sell one KIA automobile in remote parts of the country like Lawrenceburg, Kentucky!
To all the Dad 2.0 Summit sponsors a massive thank you from Mr. Skipah!
After bidding adieu to my bro club, I was off to take in another day of all things California style. Before I could even get to my vehicle my daughter was trying to reach me. At one in the afternoon, I immediately think of the worse. I’ve been known to over exaggerate in the past and this time would be no different as she wanted to inform me she qualified for regionals with her academic team. Proud dad moment for sure! From the there the rest of the day was going to be magnificent no matter what. My first stop was at Point Loma to see the only active lighthouse in San Diego and visit the Cabrillo National Monument. In what I can describe as possibly the most beautiful drive in the country, seriously, picture going 25 mph, down a mountain with the Pacific Ocean to your west and you get the idea!
Best ten bucks I spent in San Diego that didn’t involve fish tacos!
Unbeknownst to him, I had a guy in Denver loan me a credit card for my trip out west. I promised to use it wisely, so I went and bought a boat while in San Diego. Not just any boat either, more like the freaking U.S.S. Midway! Seeing this retired piece of American Naval force was jaw dropping in person. I know today’s aircraft carriers are probably three times the size of this relic, but damn it’s impressive to see in person! Also, when you go past the naval base in San Diego and you see the Navy’s impressive line of glorified bass boats sitting dockside daring you to piss them off, it registers as a “chill” moment. These boats are massive! Since I didn’t want to get on the Homeland Security watch list, I couldn’t get close enough to get a decent picture, but trust me, if our Navy’s ships rolled up in your front yard, you are going to be seeking a change of underwear! I would recommend some briefs from Russel Athletic if this happens…see what I did there!
For some reason, I kept driving south thinking I would fall off the Earth after reading what Kyrie Irving said. Thankfully, I didn’t fall off the Earth but instead I found out eventually I would need a passport to continue to drive further. Welcome to San Ysidro, California! I could smell the tequila in Tijuana I was so close. If you have never been to the U.S./Mexico border, all I can say in today’s climate it is surreal. Border patrol agents carry very large guns, nobody has any idea how to drive, and damn I wish I had a passport. Do you know how much the U.S. taxes on goods! I visited the duty-free store and was in tears when I left because I couldn’t purchase anything! For the record, I walked about as far as you can without entering Mexico, I wanted a back-room butt tattoo and nipple piercing as much as the next 40-year-old, but it just wasn’t in the cards for me. The San Diego locals informed that you can pretty much buy everything short of a human in Tijuana if you have good green cash. Seriously: Viagra, Percocet, supermodel beauty hookers, and even “Welcome to Mexico” magnets are all available if the price is right! I will say as a professional outlet mall shopper, the one at the Mexican border sucks!
They do have a Carl Jr.’s coming soon though. What in the hell has Hardee’s/Carl Jr.’s done to southern California? They are everywhere under the name Carl Jr.’s. Are Californians not aware they are Hardee’s under a different name? Carl Jr.’s outnumbers McDonald’s three to one by my unscientific estimate in the area. Does nobody remember how bad Hardee’s sucks?
I thought I saw an illegal tunnel while wondering around, turned out it was just a gigantic snake hole.
About it for now, this is probably the longest post I’ve written in two years. So, if you just scanned through the pictures I completely understand since there will be no quiz at the end. I’ll take a shot of Pepto Bismol for the keyboard diarrhea and be ready again tomorrow! One more day in California and trust me it was epic! I fell in love with La Jolla, California and can’t wait for everyone to see it from my eyes!