Missing San Diego weather like a degenerate gambler longs for his horse racing program, Mr. Skipah was back in the trenches playing big bad dad for the weekend. The heir to the unamassed fortune was back in the graces of dad for the weekend, and we were back to our usual routine of “have fun” on steroids. First though, I had to go venture to her Kentucky prison camp, because my little ninja was named “Citizen of the Month” for the second year in a row. It was a small-scale event with the local mayor and a few area businesses and organizations passing out promotional items that will more than likely end up in a local landfill by the end of the week.
This falls under the category “proud dad moment.”
Since I arrived in Lawrenceburg, Kentucky a tad too early for the proceedings and didn’t feel like pulling the fire alarm at the area Walmart, Mr. Skipah had to react fast before he fell asleep from the city’s motto of, “We put the B into Boring.” What better place to go than the Wild Turkey distillery just up the road? As much as I was tempted to try out their various choices of bourbon (I was about to deal with my ex-wife after all), I settled for a new long sleeve T-shirt and dropped off a couple of business cards for a potential collaboration with Wild Turkey in the future. Or I left them in the restroom for someone needing proper reading attire if a food poisoning episode were to occur from eating at the local Mexican joint. If ever in Lawrenceburg (prayers my friend), seek me out, and I will tell you one place not to eat!
This is the only thing worth seeing in Lawrenceburg!
After the 15-minute ceremony reminding me how awesome my child is, we were hightailing it back to our Hoosier roots before word got out that Skipah was back in Kentucky. Circulations vary on the bounty on my head in Kentucky, but I wasn’t ready to let someone cash in on it this weekend. It was another daddy-daughter weekend that was about to go down!
My view every two weeks.
Friday night, Miss Madison, with her top-secret teacher access, had secured the whole gang seats at the local high school dinner mystery event. Miss Madison Jr. and Sloane were riveted by it. Miss Madison and I were racing to see who could use the most data on our cell phones between acts. I narrowly won, (Don’t believe a word Miss Madison says about me using roughly 70% of the data on a 16-gigabyte plan), and the girls were talking about it the whole way home. As for the Turtle Man, I’m quickly learning the attention span of a five-year-old boy rivals that of a gnat on speed, as he was just waiting on all the performers to break out into some kind of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle jam session.
By the way, did you know southern Indiana broke all kinds of heat temperature records last Friday and by Saturday it was 35 and we had snow flurries?! So, of course, we were angling for votes from the Parenting Awards committee when we took the kids…. swimming! No, we weren’t performing our own Polar Bear Plunge challenge, instead it was a birthday party that was being held at the local high school that has an indoor pool. Sloane needs zero reasons to have permission to act like a fish, and I’m sure Miss Madison Jr. was born with gills. The Turtle Man was still looking for leftover pizza to give to the TMNT clan if they made a surprise visit!
Not pictured: Me in my swimming trunks.
Saturday night was Family Game Night in our household. When it was all said and done, egos were bruised, inheritances had been pulled, and two separate trips to the local emergency room for the blunt force trauma injuries sustained. Four competitive people that don’t like to lose and you better believe any differences were resolved with tridents and nun-chucks. The game for this evening was Go To the Head of the Class Board Game that had a copyright from 1986! The young girls hung in there the best they could, I kept getting questions concerning dead opera stars and wanted to score brownie points with Miss Madison, so I let her win. Seriously freaking opera star questions? Holy Figueroa! The Turtle Man was still convinced that amphibious creatures with hard shells named after Renaissance era artists were going to pay us a visit, and he was laying out various battle plans to share with them to squash the villainous Shredder!
This image will be used as a major bargaining chip for embarrassment when (gulp) dating comes into the fray!
Sunday, it was back to where memories seem to be made on a monthly basis for us. Some of you think Disney World is where memories are made, not us. We will take an excursion to Cincinnati, Ohio any day of the week over the House of Mouse. It was off to the Duke Energy Convention Center for all things landscaping, home improvement, and no way in hell I can afford any of this at the annual Home and Garden Show. The kids had an impromptu candy/business card challenge as all the vendors were passing them out. Miss Madison and I were arguing over where to put my outdoor kitchen, and a huge shout out to the group from Arlinghaus Builders for making three kids thing they were the most important people in the place!
Unfortunately I didn’t have time to stop by the Cincinnati Reds coporate offices to bitch at them!
These two dudes were trying to unload their whole inventory on the kids.
I had no idea that Viking made grills! Viking… making orange sexy again!
If you have never been to one of these conventions, you are missing out. It’s a literal “window shopping” orgy for your eyeballs. Ladies, if you are sick of looking at the same dull drab back yard, take your significant other to one of these spectacles and let the ideas run wild. Guys, before I face man card revocation, let me remind you they sell beer and there is plenty of “eye candy” for our species also. When it was all over but the shouting, Miss Madison Jr. has now decided she wants a Paris themed bedroom, I’m about to launch a fundraiser for the 16,000-dollar outdoor kitchen I want, and Sloane is going to start calling around for estimates with all the business cards she collected. The Turtle Man even donned his own super hero outfit for the festivities in hopes that a pack of fictional turtles would tag along with us.
Drink and window shop super expensive landscaping ideas….what could possibly go wrong?
About it for now, coming soon some big news in the Skipah’s Realm network. No, I didn’t land my own sitcom on HGTV, but it was still quite flattering to say the least. Just have to fill out some paperwork before I can announce it. Sloane will be back here in two weeks and I’m already counting down the days!