Divorce Redemption

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Tonight it is going to be about me, I’ve frigging earned it!   I did have Sloane but we didn’t spend a whole lot of quality time together due to basketball practice.  Dinner at school was great, I feel like I’m in my element there now.  I got to pretty much chaperone five girls during dinner (their parents were all close by) All of them engaged with me, it really was a small proud moment for me.  Pre divorce no way I could have pulled this off, more than likely I wouldn’t have even attended.  I am slowly evolving into the “cool” dad I hope.  Cool is the wrong word to use, but someone Sloane is proud of to show off around her classmates.  I get to embarrass her in front of her friends and since I’m active with her school a whole lot more than I used to be, the girls all know me and my dorky ass can actually carry on a conversation with them!  http://skipahsrealm.com/dont-ever-think-you-are-solely-to-blame/  I wrote that literary gold back after I moved into my new house, that guy thankfully is out of my life now also.  That guy was scared and confused, nor did he really know what a train wreck everything had become.  Anybody that is nice enough to read that for the first time I offer a full disclaimer:  That was pre-divorce and had to make sure it was password protected!

Post-divorce I’m fully healed!  I truly believe this!  I can type this with pride of a father who just found out his child is going to an Ivy League school.  I effing made it through a divorce!  Months ago I never believed I would (and I almost didn’t!)  Nothing is ever going to heal the scars that I had to incur, but scars fade over time.  Those scars aren’t the ex either; they were self-inflicted over losing my ex.  I lost her and I couldn’t be happier about it, she didn’t deserve this version of me.  I learned from my divorce that I’m a decent dude, a great father, and my new passion in life is helping people however I can.  I’m far from rich (contested custody divorce cases aren’t cheap, and having a penis definitely doesn’t help in family law), but blogging helped me “express” myself in ways I never could have a year ago.  I actively pursue divorced men groups (some women’s also) and offer my two cents to help out any way I can (I earned that badge), I have become actively involved with my daughter’s school and these people are beyond great (they are really a community that I’m PROUD to me a member of), I am going to become a champion of the disease that is Lupus as soon as my Lupie friend gets two free days without having to spend time in a hospital.  The point of all this is that back in June I was told to become this person in order to save my marriage, I became that man and trust me “Thank God” she will never get to experience it.  She doesn’t deserve to enjoy this person, and I was a pretty frigging good husband before “shit went sideways”, I have adopted a “pay it forward” mentality now.  I realized today that I’m happy with myself, I’ve thought this many times before in this journey, but today it really hit home.  One night at Sloane’s school and I didn’t have to cling to the one dad that is a friend of mine made me realize this.  I’m Gary Mathews aka Skipah, and I’m on my feet!  My journey has made me closer to my family, closer to my friends, and I’ve made a shitload of new friends!  I’ve come through a divorce and I’m patting myself on the back tonight.

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4 Comments

  1. Pingback: She Did It! ⋆

  2. Pingback: Happy Unanniversary | Skipah's Realm

  3. Thanks Athena, it was a long road but I like where I ended up. Thanks for reading 🙂

  4. Gary, this makes me so happy to hear! I haven’t “known” you long but your positivity really shines through. It’s so encouraging to hear that you’ve found yourself and your way through this process. I love that you mentioned you’ve become an even better father as a result and find yourself more confident and involved in everything. Your post really showcases how happy you are. Thank you for the motivation through your blog and friendly comments. Cheers!!

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