Doing good, but still hurdles

Since I have become a profound expert on fountain drinks since this began, I thought I would use this space to share etiquette rules when you are getting your favorite beverage at your local quick stop.  After you get your ice and drink get the hell out of the way, go to one side or the other and put your lid on and grab your straw.  Some people have to get to work and get a little annoyed watching someone take there sweet time trying to properly figure out how to put a plastic lid on a styrofoam cup.  It’s not rocket science, but since you choose to make it rocket science please get out of the way for the next patron and do your experiment out of the way.  Needless to say I was getting a little ticked off at my daily quickie stop this morning, never mind the fact I was up way to early again.  I’m starting to wonder if I even need an alarm clock anymore, it’s getting frigging ridiculous.  The funny thing is though I’m not really tired throughout the day, and most of the times in the evening I go to bed about the same time each night.  It’s like I’m 20 anymore, when three-four hours of sleep were the norm, but usually for all the wrong reason(s),  probably to much caffeine who knows.

Get my daughter tomorrow and it will start a stretch of days with Labor day thrown in, were I will have her a lot in the upcoming days.  Really excited about this weekend, trying to plan a power packed weekend for her.  She gets to stay with grandma one night also so they are both excited about that.  I’m keeping her until Tuesday morning, so there will be a lot of laughs and fun for sure starting this Friday.  Our motto is HAVE FUN, and she and I have lived that as much as possible since the beginning of July.  I expect the same thing this weekend.  Hopefully it isn’t so damn hot this weekend.  If anybody is throwing a festive Labor Day cookout let me know I’ll have the cutest date in the world to bring!

Not much in the way of my wife and I today, at least as far as she knows, took some steps today on a few things going forward that should tick her off when she learns about it.  I’ll take my small victories were I can get them.  Other than that no communication between she and I which is fine with me right now.  I’ll be awaiting her phone call next week, she did inform yesterday she would be out of town this weekend.  I was completely shocked (snicker, snicker) Ray Charles could have seen that one coming.  Have fun, just gives me another night with my daughter and I want that more than anything right now.  That girl (my wife) has become the devil anymore, good riddance babe.  Oh by the way, leave my daughter out of your reckless behavior pattern right now if you don’t mind.  I didn’t ask for it, but I’m the adult so I’m supposed to figure out how to deal with it, she’s seven and has no clue what a flipping moron you have become. (I think)

Things are definitely returning to normal to some degree, or at least the new normal, my afternoon running commentary with my best friend has returned to two guys talking and not him trying to get my spirits up.  Today we talked about a whole laundry lists of topics that if anybody ever got to read the transcripts would either think we are both dorks or it was comedic genius.  After last night’s glowing piece on him he had the audacity to ask me “if we were dating” , that got a chuckle.  It’s what I used to do in the afternoon at work depending on how busy I or he was though (isn’t instant messenger great),  at the end of the day though we solved the world’s problem and figured out a way to cause on or two more.  Isn’t that what two friends are supposed to do?  I didn’t even remind him that the Cubs suck today, I’ll have to remember that tomorrow, and no friend you don’t need to be looking into a passenger tickets to a slow boat to China.

Went to another friends son’s baseball game tonight, incorporated the trip in with my evening walk as the ball field is only a half mile away and I can do that without breaking a sweat, unless it’s 100 flipping degrees then breathing causes you to sweat.  I saw another old friend there that I haven’t talked to in a long, long time.  Recently separated and going through a divorce let’s just say awkward at best for me, he never really knew my wife (he moved out of the area shortly after we were married), but he knew me as well as anybody pre-marriage hell we grew up down the street from each other.  I also realized I’m still not comfortable in social settings, I feel like some kind of damaged goods, failure, fill in your adjective.  Telling people you are divorcing is just an odd feeling, I don’t go into the whole story with people that don’t know me that well, I don’t want to sound bitter.  Deep down  your damn right I’m a little bitter.  I never thought I would be in this position, I was a good husband I thought, I know I was a hell of a lot better than a lot of other husbands I know of.  She is not my problem now, if I wasn’t good enough for her, god help the next guy.  No really I hope not, he’s a loser also, he gets whatever fate is coming his way also.  If they end up married it’s his fifth wife before the age of 50, do I even have to write another word about that?

I keep telling myself YOU CAN DO IT, when it comes to adjusting to single life.  It’s not her I’m wanting back, I just want my normal life back.  Still learning to adjust to new normal, gets easier by the day, but nights like tonight are small set backs.  Eventually it will get better I’m confident of, just going to take time, and on days when I don’t have my daughter all I got is time.







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