Note to self……start considering the Mediterranean diet. I could eat this everyday!
Before anybody begins to wonder if I’m about to show up on the side of a milk carton, I’m alive and well. Due to my current habit of binge watching television shows, staying up past zombie curfew watching an epic World Series, and shuttling all over the fruited plain offering my “special set of skills” to potential employers, my blogging and internet game has been pretty weak of late. So those of you in jolly old England, you can let your buddies at Scotland Yard know I’m alive and kicking.
Fortunately during all this time of getting my B.A. in nightowlogy (trust me it’s a word) and getting told “No thanks” by potential employers more than when I was asking girls out in high school, I did manage to squeeze in a little Halloween fun with the heir to the throne. It was dad’s year, according to the state of Indiana, to take your little crumb snatcher(s) out to rob and pillage local neighborhoods in the quest for cavities and sugar highs.
For me that would mean one thing……….a lot of driving! Before any candy shenanigans could go down, this guy was off to interview with the shipping giant FedEx, a puddle jump of 50 miles away. They were inquiring about this guy possibly running their shipping operations for the Louisville Metro region. I had my stepdaughter pick out a lucky tie (turned out to be not so lucky, the rejection email came Friday) and I was off to The Derby City for the chance to star in the sequel to Cast Away (c’mon readers you better get the connection) and the opportunity to wear blue and orange shirts until I retire.
For you millennials that are clueless about decorum (seriously, is anybody under 30 ever taught crap), this would be the classic Four-In-Hand tie knot.
From there I had to find a phone booth so I could channel my inner Clark Kent and transform into my Super Dad hero outfit of jeans and a pullover. I needed to look as inconspicuous as possible as I was headed an hour away to the land of odd and boring. No I’m not talking about a Tuesday night on the couch watching Outlander, that would be downright cruel. More like a trip to Lawrenceburg, Kentucky! It was an impromptu daddy/daughter date on the prowl for the finest treats from Reese’s Peanut Butter among others candy manufacturers.
I always wanted my own little pet dolphin!
Did I mention Lawrenceburg, KY is boring? It’s also stingier than Scrooge McDuck in the candy giving department. No wonder Sloane wants out of her neighborhood! Ten houses in and we had nary any candy. Literally, nobody was participating in the Halloween love in that part of the world. We did like any daddy/daughter moment would call for in this situation…we improvised.
This homeowner apparently was passing out tires, I didn’t see any peanut butter on them so we passed.
We made the three-block trek to what is classified as downtown Lawrenceburg for their little city trick or treating. Apparently, though, kids had skipped school all day and camped out downtown. By the time we got there, you would have found more room in a cluttered studio apartment. Packed is an understatement, ten minutes of this and we both nodded in agreement, “This is stupid.” Apparently, these kids already knew what I didn’t know, that Lawrenceburg, KY is rather grinchish when it comes to passing out candy.
I guess they roll up the street after 7:00 in these parts.
Three blocks of wall to wall people is now how I grew up in the trick or treating department!
Luckily, the evening was not lost as we found a warm and caring neighborhood on the walk back that made sure all the costume clad kiddos didn’t go home empty-handed. Although for the life of me, I couldn’t understand the people’s whose house had “sinner repent.” I thought about it for hours of what sins I needed to repent. My soul is in no need of cleansing, hell I’m an angel just ask my middle school teachers!
Yes loyal readers, this is an actual sign/banner on a fence in Lawrenceburg. I didn’t feel like going all Billy Joel on this person and reminding them that the “sinners are much more fun!”
A nice 90 minute drive home on two lane winding highways and upon my arrival, my beloved Miss Madison was there to draw me a bath, fetch my slippers, and cook me a nice 24-ounce porterhouse to a perfect medium rare finish. Then I realized the alarm clock was going off and it was time to start the day off looking for a job of course!
About it for now, big weekend in the realm. Sloane’s archery career is set to begin with her first ever competition. Throw in a wild birthday celebration for Miss Madison and the recipe was concocted for yet another epic weekend!