Don’t Let Her Grow Up!


Welcome back to part two of a Saturday night blog party, the bomber is secured away catching up on lost episodes of Jessie and I’m still radiating heat like I spent two days in the sun.  Oh yeah I have spent two days in the sun, silly me.

Today’s adventures in Mathews land started off with a trip to Walmart.  Yes we got there early enough that the Walmartians weren’t out in full force yet, as we were headed off to fish again and needed some bait and bobbers.  Since we had softball practice today I kyboshed going to Churchill Downs (also Churchill and Cincinnati in the same weekend could get expensive) and her swim invitation and took her to work to see if we could catch some state record bass and bluegill.  We even picked her up a new pole at Sam Walton’s discount paradise, a Zebco 202 in purple (her favorite color), that Zebco 202 worked for exactly four casts before the reel broke.  I’m assuming it was made in Pluto since four damn casts in and it broke.  Didn’t deter us on our quest for state record fish, she used her old Barbie pole and managed to reel in a few with it.  Thankfully the ducks behaved and I caught one bass (not pictured) that would have come in fifth in a junior tournament with five contestants.  The bass was so small if I was using live bait instead of artificial the night crawler would have ate him instead.  He was puny to say the least.  We had a blast though and Sloane managed to land a couple decent ones but no state record unfortunately.  When I took the Zebco 202 back for a return later in the afternoon the Walmartians were out in full force.  I saw more rolls than a bakery, and was wondering if it was bed time with all the pajamas I saw.

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After fishing came another round of softball practice.  Not just any practice though, only one hour of practice then a full hour of sliding drills.  Watching her make backhanded plays and throws right on the money I didn’t know if I wanted to hug the coach or take Sloane out for ice cream.  Phenomenal, she doesn’t hit as well as many of the girls, but her glove work has become Ozzie Smith like anymore.  Nothing gets past her now, she’s like an industrial Hoover vacuum cleaner now, and if she is near it she is going to suck it up.  Best day of softball I’ve ever seen her have in my life today.  Ask my best friend I was telling him about it the whole time!

Then came the sliding drills, but today wasn’t any day of sliding drills it was on a Slip N Slide.  The girls had a frigging blast practicing their sliding.  The coach is an evil genius because he was teaching them the proper technique and getting on them for not doing it right and they just wanted to get wet!  By the end of the day Sloane was sliding better than her father ever could and she didn’t even realize she was sliding correctly she just thought it was fun.  I will say it until I’m blue in the face, best youth coach in any sport I’ve ever seen.  Me and a couple of the other moms were all in agreement on that, actually those two moms and I agreed on a ton of other stuff also.  I might have to include them in my divorce/custody support group when court rolls around in a few weeks.

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(Better technique than her father ever had)

Once softball was over it was time for our chicken wings and Triple Crown party.  Sloane was requesting her dad’s chicken wings (screw you Hooter’s) and couldn’t wait to watch the big horse race.  I think Hammy even had action on it because he actually put his vodka bottle down and quit hitting the training wheel to watch.  I had the wings ready in time and Sloane watched the Belmont Stakes with her eyes closed for most of it, Hammy was beating a program on his hip like a degenerate gambler, and I was enjoying Sriracha flavored chicken wings.  That was until they came down the back stretch and it became obvious that American Pharaoh is a man among boys in horse land.  I told Sloane he’s going to win and she started bouncing up and down screaming at the top of her lungs.  If you aren’t from this area and within Churchill Downs zip code you have no idea how cool this is for our area.  Not in 37 years has this happened.  I got to witness it with my daughter, enough said!

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About it for tonight, I’m living on sun fatigue, and going to be another chance to bolster my hall of fame candidacy in the Farmer’s Tan Hall of Fame tomorrow at the Cincinnati Reds game as the weather is supposed to be 90 and sunny.  Sloane is amped for it, me I’m amped to see Sloane amped because the Reds suck this year!  Hopefully she will at least get to see Joey Votto play for the first time and who knows I might just find the new Mrs. Skipah.  FYI Cincinnati Reds female fans shoot up at least three points no matter what they look like on the unofficial Skipah’s rules for dating!  It’s yet to be published but and I have no idea of the criteria but remind me sometime to tell you of the story of a woman there with her dad (or sugar daddy) and Rich Aurelia some years ago.  It was the single sexiest moment I had ever witnessed at a Reds game!  More to come tomorrow as the bomber and I are going to continue to “Conquer to world!

BJ’s wholesale website -
Send Skipah Sailing!


  1. Pingback: A little girl came through the front gate holdin' a fishing pole -

  2. Sounds like an awesome day! Good luck finding live at the game. Daddies always look cuter with their children, so you’ve got bonus points, too 😉


  3. I can’t believe I missed the race! I was out hiking around the cypress swamp but some of the biggest mosquitos I have ever seen 0_0 Those wings sound delicious- tell Sloane great work on the sliding! (and the fishing, it looks like she is having a blast 🙂 )

    • She has become addicted to fishing, just glad I have unlimited access to a kid friendly fishing hole that “usually” has fish biting all the time. The girls had a blast working on their sliding drills.

  4. Quick question – say we both make fun of Walmartians but then we go to Wal-Mart. Do we become Walmartians too?

    • Necessary evil for me it’s literally two blocks away! No we are normal shoppers unless you are going in your ThunderCat P.J.’s then you would qualify as a Walmartian!

  5. So, guess I won’t go to Wally World when it comes time to get a rod for Avery. Glad fun was had by all nonetheless!

    And that’s awesome you and Sloane witnesses Triple Crown history! I bet it’s a day you’ll be talking about even as she goes off to college. Whoa, sorry, let’s not think that far ahead, huh?

    Way to be an outstanding dad, you truly are giving her the best times man!

  6. She texted me to tell me American Pharoah won the triple crown and I texted her back and asked her if her and Daddy won any money and she said, no we didn’t “vote!” Silly girl, she always cracks me up! Definitely a history making day in horse racing!

Tell Skipah all about it!

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