The gigantic sigh of relief you heard today was from every DirecTV subscriber in the area when they found out they get to watch the Colts game on NBC tonight. Believe me, I was one of them, the first day of pro football, single and kid-free and I sat down and watch about half a quarter of a game. Although have been looking forward to tonight’s game. It’s the state team vs. the state’s former most beloved player. Plus Carrie Underwood is easy on the eyes, but enough about that, today was a good day. Felt like the guy that hit the trifecta at the Kentucky Derby and then parlayed it the next race and hit the Daily Double. Happy thoughts all day, not a bad moment, nor a dull moment. It was quite possibly the best day I have had emotionally since all this began.
In my every diversifying world of changing myself I really hit it big with the environmentalist crowd today, I decided to rent a vehicle for a couple of days until I get my truck thing settled and the cheapest thing I found for a whopping 16 dollars a day was a Chevy Spark. 30 mpg, and I think my daughter has more take off on her bike than this thing, plus it’s about as big as a postage stamp, needless to say, little nerve wracking driving it on the interstate, but it will get me from A to B and I’ve got a lot of running to do the next couple of days. Doctor’s, tow yards, errands, etc… didn’t want to have to rely on everybody for a lift so thought I would just take care of things myself. I’m getting more self-sufficient as the days go by. Got my dresser today and was finally able to turn our “spare” bedroom into something more than a clothing storage facility. Now it’s just an empty room, my daughter wants to make it a spare bedroom so I’m going to have to find a spare bed and make it a guest room. She wants to have friends over I know eventually so we are going to have to get that room whipped into shape. Between the spare bedroom and the main living room those are the only two rooms that need attention, everything else is good to go for the most part. I’m so excited to call this place home now, and welcome any visitors that would like to stop by. Going to have to organize a guys night over one Sunday for football, I get the NFL Sunday ticket free this year, I’m sure eventually I will sit still long enough to enjoy a day of football if not though who cares. Life is quickly becoming fun again, I was told it would eventually I didn’t believe anybody back then, but I am starting to believe them now.
So with no vehicle first thing this morning, and craving my 44 ounces of diet do. pepper I put on the tennis shoes and off to Circle K I went. Got my drink and just kept walking, I turned into a regular Forrest Gump before I knew it I was home and four miles later I had my daily walk in. It was a cool crisp, brisk morning so it was pretty refreshing didn’t even really work up a sweat. Although my legs told me I had walked four miles. Completely therapeutic, though, cleared my head of everything, and set me free for the rest of my day, and the rest of my day I can’t really put into words, nothing special, nothing out of the ordinary just happy thoughts all day. Thinking of the future without my ex, thinking of all the fun with my daughter, thinking of my new friend, thinking of all the people that rebuilt me to get to this point, just happy with my life again. Got some fight back in me finally, my outlook isn’t bleak as I once thought months ago. I just want to see my daughter more and hopefully the legal process will show me some gratitude that I’ve think I’ve earned and grants me that when this is all over.
Looking forward to my new future, optimistic that I will get good news at the doctor tomorrow, optimistic (barely) that all the news on my stowaway truck will be good, it’s like a switch has flipped from permanently pessimistic and actually fitting in some optimism. Optimism is a good thing and I went way too many years without it. It makes me feel good about life, myself, the future just everything. I’ve crawled out of that deep hole the ex put me in and kept me buried in. A lot of it because of my own doing and refusing to get out of the hole, but I’m out of that hole now, and ready to start trading punches with her (not literally) and the first round begins tomorrow. I’m off work for the whole week, I get to maneuver behind the scenes now, set things in place that will have long term effects beneficial to me. I get to see my daughter whenever I want at points this week and she can’t stop me. It’s game on EX, and I was always suited for this kind of stuff better than her. Besides my daughter is always going to be option number one, she’s proven that our daughter isn’t option number one. I’m about to exploit that the best way I can, and that is just being myself. Just being myself is going to pay off in my personal and parental life. Because I’m a good guy, I know how people like to be treated, I’m not this crazy bitter person she has become. The only thing I’m still bitter about it is her actions towards me as I was trying to save my marriage. I’m glad I wasn’t able to save it, I deserve better than that. I never thought I would say these words, but months full of lies really tend to piss a person off after you get over the shock and hurt. She’s the one on a path of self-destruction, I’m in the process of rebuilding and I’m going to be better for it. She just may have done the best favor ever for me just took me way to long to realize it.
Well, it looks like the home state team isn’t having a good night, going to wrap this up for the night maybe this will change their luck.