Dad! You are an idiot at times!
First off, all my Floridian friends, hopefully you are still standing after this past weekend. Irma is a more fitting name for your great-great grandmother that was born in 1875, not this beast of a hurricane. Furthermore, what’s up with a name like Harvey? Who’s naming these things at the National Hurricane Center, the AARP? These two hurricanes have kept me glued to the TV for two weeks! Skipah disclaimer: Nobody names their kids these names anymore, if you are a Harvey or an Irma, I’m sorry and you have my deepest apologies. I don’t need The Wolf hunting me down, I’ve got enough issues going on in my life right now.
Fortunately, I had my own hurricane to deal with this past weekend. She is ten years old and keeps calling me dad. It was a Hurricane Sloane kind of weekend for me and what better way to kick it off than our own version of the Friday Night Lights by going to see my alma mater play their crosstown rivals for the city championship in high school football. Quick note, my alma mater sucks worse than gas station sushi. They haven’t won a game in three years and routinely get beat worse than I did in my custody battle a couple of years ago. So yeah, I was feeling real confident we were going to be taking the city championship back to the athletic director’s office after the game.
The mighty Generals travel well! I’ve seen more people at a White Castle’s after midnight!
No worries though, it was a good time with Sloane as she got to run around with many of her former classmates. I was taking side action on how bad we would get beat from other patrons. At the end of the day it was 56-0, and the whole second half was played under the always embarrassing “running clock.” Sloane bid farewell to her old buddies and she and I were off to our Madison, Indiana domicile to get ready for our big weekend plans!
Thankfully, I was getting +29.5 for the first half spread!
On Saturday our favorite matriarch returned from the Land of the Gopher after an unplanned visit to take care of some family business. From there, the gang and I were headed to all things limestone, or better known as Bedford, Indiana. We were off for some birthday party fun for an old friend of Miss Madison Jr. Those wacky kids these days and there birthday party ideas, long gone are the days of princesses and Superheroes, instead we had the privilege of attending a galaxy tea party! Not sure what is in the water in Bedford, Indiana that has kids coming up with such elaborate birthday themes, but we were more than happy to oblige!
Galaxy popcorn, or sugar laced treats that turn kids into wild animals!
This is what a “galaxy” tea party looks like, I own a Samsung Galaxy and the differences were stunning!
Not sure what this game was called, but Sloane was pretty good at it!
Cleaning up slime making is a bitch! What is up with kids wanting to make slime!
As an even added bonus, we got to meet a true blue native Londoner! Straight from the United Kingdom, my new British buddy was amped up about his first trip to the states. First time in my life I had ever heard about somebody being excited about going to Walmart. He figured out pretty quick why the U.S. ranks in the top twenty in obesity rates. So he could get the full Americana experience I even went out and bought him a Twinkie, that is a true story. After one bite I’m pretty sure he figured out this country is nuts! Sloane had a blast talking to him and I have to say I’ve met two native Brits now in my life, I need to get that passport updated and start a GoFundMe page to raise funds for a trip to jolly ole England. Who wouldn’t donate to send Skipah to the U.K. for a week or six? Trust me, I’m much cooler than the queen!
The devilishly cute girl in the black recently officiated my wedding (works on the cheap), the other guy is cooler than an Antartic winter!
Saturday night with the step children off to another birthday party, (two birthday parties in one day #winning) Sloane, Miss Madison, and I had the evening to ourselves. In the long time-honored tradition Miss Madison and Sloane have started when it is just us, they watched a dog movie and I tried to reinvent the internet. This evening’s theatrical masterpiece was none other than The Ugly Dachshund. Sloane absolutely cracked up during the movie and while all this was going on, I sliced out a Bitcoin strategy to make me rich! Stay tuned for those details, like most of my get rich quick schemes this one is sure to have me shopping for a new full sized yacht!
These two! Love them to death, but do they have to constantly team up on me!
Before I had to return Sloane to her “other” parent for a week of boredom and scheming, we were off to see her aforementioned former classmates in a production of Seussical. If you are not familiar with Seussical, then obviously you are not a Dr. Seuss fan. If you are not a Dr. Seuss fan, I suggest you seek professional help immediately. The show was great, and Sloane was happy to reconnect with a few of her friends she hadn’t seen in a couple of years.
UNFORTUNATELY, IT IS WELL KNOWN THAT I’M AN IDIOT AND DIDN’T THINK TO TAKE ANY PICTURES.
A quick stop for dinner at Topp’t, because who doesn’t like pizza, and then I had to turn over the parental reigns for a couple weeks. Sucks, I still hate it, but in the end it is what it is. How cool is Miss Madison though? Sloane’s stepmom is getting out of the blue phone calls from her now. Hell, I don’t even get that treatment! I get the standard before bedtime call, Miss Madison is getting after school “shoot the shit” phone calls while dinner is being prepared at her other house.
Sloane decided Miss Madison needed this pillow.
Before anyone accuses me of being a carnivore there are roasted red peppers and red onions buried in there!
About it for now, another magical weekend in the books, and another reason I think family law is an absolute joke! The winds of change are blowing though, hopefully in my direction. I used to base my own personal weather vane for days, then weeks morphed into months, now it is into years, but that imaginary weather vane keeps blowing in the right direction!