From Russia with Love

If you know me, you know I’m a James Bond fan!  From Russia with Love is a Sean Connery classic!  Sorry Ian Fleming it was too good to pass up for tonight’s title.  In happenings at the Mathews abode today, the following things occurred.  The sock dating pool maintained it’s status quo and thankfully didn’t add any new members.  The lonely souls sitting on my dresser are stuck in purgatory apparently.  The mysterious disappearances of all shape, sizes, and colors of hangers is reaching unprecedented levels, and I volunteered to cook Christmas dinner so my little family can all have a sit down dinner and not sit out around and pick on the divorced guy.  Plus if they make me angry I can always slip exlax in the meal.  Oh yeah, and I got a new roommate.  In the rodent derby the hamster ended up winning out.  He’s cheaper and easier.  Low maintenance is what I want.  He’s not just any hamster either, he’s a Russian Dwarf Hamster.  Sloane will be thrilled, she’s got a Siberian Husky for a pet dog and now this creature as her pet at my house.  Sloane will have Russian culture down pat, just have to teach her the value of a ruble and get her a ushanka, and she’ll be my own little Russian daughter.  Maybe she will become and all world gymnast or tennis player!  Drawing the line though on having her make borscht.  I mean really who likes beet soup?  True story that I still remember to this day, my grandpa made me eat canned beets and I literally got sick to my stomach trying to ingest them.  I must have been six-seven years old but still remember it to this day!

The Gary Mathews in Clarksville, TN never contacted me today about a new car so I’m back to pounding the pavement tomorrow, going to go test drive a couple and maybe a new deal will pop up on Craigslist.  Didn’t take a trip across the river today, didn’t see anything worth checking out online and needed to take care of Sloane’s Christmas present.  I’m falling in love with this Fusion though and the break up will be hard.  It will be like going from Katy Perry to Shelly Duvall but such is life for me these days.  In other news my local Circle K asked me if I wanted a job there, told me I could have all the fountain drinks I wanted.  Very tempting, but don’t think I would last a day there, first time I’m working third shift and get some dumb drunk bastard or THAT LOTTERY GUY I would probably snap and be on the cover of the local newspaper.  Don’t think they were serious about the job offer, but unlimited Diet Dr. Pepper!  Where do I sign up!!!!!!  Even though they keep pissing me off with either a lack of a functioning Diet Dr. Pepper tap, or when it is in stock its foamy as hell, it’s still my local place.  Kind of my old man McDonald’s, all the employees know me and I know all the inner office gossip.  Third shift hates the first shift, the manager plays favorites, etc…  I had no idea that the staff of maybe eight-ten people had a rivalry more heated than the Yankees and Red Sox.  Do know this though Circle K, I’m onto you,  the fountain drinks are more foam than liquid right now.  You are hoping I get impatient and not top off my full 44 ounces of liquid crack.  No sir, for .85 cents I’m getting my money’s worth!  So if I have to keep jiggling my cup and waste another 30 seconds I’m going to do it.

Short week for most of us, to anybody I know that works in retail GOOD LUCK this week.  Come Friday it’s Sloane and I for the whole week!  I did agree to let the ex have her on her birthday if she wanted her (she didn’t).  Told me she would do something with her the day after.  How sweet is that though, no more spouse with a birthday three days after Christmas!  This being divorced crap keeps producing silver lining after silver lining.  Now if I could only come up with a system to correctly pick lottery numbers or invent a way to solve world peace everything would be just be peachy and I would be rich!!!!!

 

 

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