Oh no! #WinterSucks
With Halloween coming less than a week away, I’m sure all parents are in super speed mode making sure little Susie and Tommy are getting ready for the big day of knocking on stranger’s door in the hunt for chocolate and other confectionary goods that will more than likely land them one way tickets to the dentist. I don’t have concrete evidence, but if the ADA isn’t secretly funneling money to the Mars Chocolate Company, my name isn’t Gary! With Halloween just around the corner, it’s time for a Skipah DIY costume post!
Recently, I’ve channeled my inner fantasy land and have gotten hooked on Game of Thrones (31 episodes in, wow on The Red Wedding episode), so of course my beautiful, darling wife suggested we go to a recent costume party with me dressed up as a baby-faced Jon Snow, she as Daenerys Targaryen (AKA, the “Mother of Dragons”) and of course our three offspring as her “pet” dragons! What could possibly go wrong in this DIY scenario?
Skipah’s advice, screw hitting up the big box store for supplies, a quick trip to the local Goodwill store or similar thrift stores is just what the doctor ordered. Our trip netted us a size 22 bridesmaid dress that was brand freaking new from David’s Bridal for a robust $2.99. I guess the former owner of this dress got kicked out of the bridal party. Maybe she told the bride she looked fat, I have no idea. The color was perfect though and who am I to judge. Since I needed a cloak to pull of the Jon Snow look, my wife also found an old school faux fur coat that fit over my shoulders at just the right length. I think it set us back seventy five cents and a promise to the Goodwill worker that I would never be seen in public….in the dress!
For the dragons, you have to get a tad crafty here. Find a cheap hoodie and hope you know somebody that can make a Singer sewing machine…you know, sing! You will need to also find a blowout sale at the fabric store because dragons have scales and Jon Snow has to look like a rugged individual. I’m incapable of this kind of stuff, my wife has a P.H.D. in this sort of thing! For less than ten dollars, the kids had dragons scales, and I looked like an idiot! My facial hair game has never materialized even at my tender age.
On to costume prepping, first stop….creating dragons. With the above mentioned discounted hoodies and fabric, you just sew on some make believe scales along the spine and voila you now have a wonderful little fire breather you can call your own. If you know how to actually draw, you can even purchase some Halloween paint at your local fright store. Don’t pay attention to the warnings about causing blindness and so forth. It’s only your children’s eyesight we are talking about! For all I know this stuff is banned in 20 countries, but guess what, not in my country!
This particular dragon wanted to be a rainbow warrior.
I can report all kids still have their normal vision, all though some dermatology appointments are a possibility in the future.
Things get a little trickier to pull of the world’s most famous dragon mom. Unless you have long flowing blonde hair, you are more than likely going to have to take a trip to the Amazon Rain Forest to secure supplies for some flowing locks, or you just go to that online site named after the rainforest and purchase a wig. It will more than likely contain allergens and skin altering chemicals in it, but there is no reason to skimp on appearances. If you are going to be a bear, be a grizzly is my motto! With your wig, and aforementioned dress you are almost there. Dust off some overpriced sandals that you bought in France when you were studying abroad at an earlier age, just make sure your parents have no idea how much you paid for them even back then, and you are ready to go! Some internet magic will give you some make-up ideas and you are almost set. Throw in some gold spray paint for a belt you haven’t worn in ages, discounted gold fabric, and hello dragon lady!
I’ve seen that look before, it’s usually after I leave the toilet seat up!
I did mention this dress was ginormous, so of course this needed alterations. Plus, my wife wanted to size up the length of the train she was adding as a final “touch.” Since we closed down our modeling shop years ago here at Skipah’s Realm, we were fresh out of dress forms. Guys, this is where you have to step in and man up! You want your wife/significant other to look good, well sometimes you have to swallow your pride and think of yourself as a team. No dress form, no problem, you become the dress form for your partner. Yup for the first time in my life (that I’m willing to admit) I wore a dress!
Don’t ya wish your boyfriend was hot like me!
For Jon Snow, we had to break out some jeans from the closet that haven’t been relevant since before Britney Spears had a hit. I also owned zero black jeans, so a little Rit Dye needed to be purchased for a whopping $1.97 USD. Thanks to YouTube I was successful in my first attempt on how to use a washing machine and my old jeans had a new life. Throw in a long sleeve T-shirt from my former employer and you have the basic get up. We also took another trip to the Amazon for some choice hair threads. In other news, if Welcome Back, Kotter ever gets remade, I could totally nail the Gabe Kaplan role. While we were on our Goodwill treasure hunt we also found a belt for a buck and a quarter, and combined it with a belt I already owned so I could have the “rugged” look. Since my wife didn’t think it was a good idea that I carry around an actual sword, my step son reluctantly let me borrow one of his 23,000 plastic ones. My wife also found some furry fabric for me to turn my Nike’s, into some “manly” boots.
Let’s go behead some people!
Yes, loyal readers, you have now seen me in a dress today and the most outlandish wig in the history of mankind, but my dire wolf is cute.
Thanks to my late great mother-in-law, she furnished both of us with our kick ass jewelry. Even from the heavens she still contributes to our costume making as she has done in the past. She made me look like a shark before, and thanks to her my brooch and my wife’s necklace were the finishing touches on our costumes.
About it for now, call this post costuming on a budget. I’m guessing for the five of us we had less than fifty bucks invested and the biggest part of that was on fake hair. We were the talk of the costume party, and the only drawback is the dang kids actually think they can breathe fire. Neither my wife nor I have the courage to tell them that “dragon breath” is a bad thing!