Litterbugs are the worst! Saw this today while I was walking.
Happy Saturday to all those inhabitants on the little island of the internet known as Skipah’s Realm. Today is July 11th and two of Skipah’s biggest idol’s celebrated birthdays today. Robin Williams and Ernest Hemingway were born on this day, you know what else was….drumroll…….Skipah’s Realm was formed on this day exactly one year ago. We will chalk this up to coincidence because last year at this time I don’t even think I could have told you when my birthday was with everything that was going on in my life at the time. I was three weeks removed from attempting to end my life and learning of the impending divorce. Feels like ten years ago but the calendar says it’s only been one. Let’s recap what’s happened in the past year.
Welcome to blogger land, Perez Hilton was officially put on notice!
Acquired an obnoxious former KGB hamster spy with a cast iron liver.
Unsuccessfully attempted to start a second grade girls point shaving scheme.
The Cincinnati Reds still suck!
Raised a 100 bucks for the Make a Wish foundation in a week!
Launched my own line of voodoo dolls.
Amazingly though, this is my most read post ever.
Through it all though it has been a year round saga of custody, a vindictive and bitter ex, and enjoying the hell out of my time with Sloane. Dawned on me today also if I do lose on July 27th there will be no more cheerleading and softball next year. That just plain sucks! Who doesn’t want to see more softball and cheerleading pictures?????????
Fear not loyal patrons, whether you know it or not you all have enlisted in Skipah’s Army (sorry mom I’m hijacking that term), Skipah was feeling a little down a couple of days ago well the amount of support I’ve received from my online community alone is enough to make me feel ten feet tall and bullet proof. Throw in my local friends giving me a square kick in the ass when needed, and my amazing family supporting me since day one July 27th is going to be someone’s own personal Waterloo. If I could I would exile her to Elba (Google search Napoleon Kentuckians…no not Napoleon Dynamite), but I’ll settle for her banishment to Lawrenceburg, KY.
Here is why I’m going to win or go down screaming if I lose. I looked it up today the 90 day rule is the frigging law. Has a statute and everything it’s not just some arbitrary bullshit Indiana Parenting Time Guideline that gets thrown out when it’s convenient. The elected officials in Indianapolis passed this bill and it was signed into law by the governor. Read this link legal scholars and tell me if I am missing something?
Also as a citizen of the United States I am granted first amendment rights (Shush Kentuckian Right to Bear Arms is number two), Freedom of Speech! I’ve not slandered any one on here by name, using my words against me in court is a complete fallacy. Facing potential jail time over a contempt of court is ludicrous as say I filed child endangerment charges against Sloane’s biological mother, and BELIEVE me readers I have a case! My story is coming out one way or the other either before then or after then. I’ve gotten everything in place and Scott County, Indiana is going to be my day win, lose, or draw.
Also in other news Mr. Skipah has a chance to broaden his horizons and appear on the radio. I’m not talking some Clear Channel 8,000,000 megawatt superstation. However it is the largest internet radio show in the Midwest (or something like that), could launch my budding comedy career, or it could become my own personal bully pulpit. I haven’t decided what I’m going to do on that front, but the more publicity I can get out there the better. This goat roping must end for me and any other father that has had to put up with this absolute chicanery.
In the same song different day category tonight we have Sloane and her sleeping habits with mom. Brand new shiny house in Lawrenceburg that was the worse kept secret in history. My daughter has been filled with promises of a bunk bed, with a slide, mini fridge stocked with unlimited apple juice, and a running loop of Disney shows for months. First night in the house she is sleeping on a freaking air mattress! I’m assuming the bedding choices of my daughter are a low priority when she is not with me because she has slept on nothing but a couch or now an air mattress since last June 30th when she hasn’t been with dad. Hey it’s my blogoversarry anybody remember this old picture?
Sloane’s bed when she wasn’t with me the past year!
About it for tonight we mixed up a pitcher of Shirley Temple’s for Rosy and Hammy used his contacts to smuggle in some top flight Russian vodka. He even requested whole milk for the White Russians and since its Skipah’s Realm birthday I thought I would honor his request. Who knows before the night is over he and I might be singing karaoke, you evidently have never heard me sing some Margaritaville have you! Maybe I’ll launch my music career on the radio! Whatever I do Skipah won’t be singing the blues!