Going back to my roots

What is up with this weather, two weeks ago I was sitting outside typing my blog and had to go get a jacket, today I could fry and egg outside.  Throw in the winter of that would make Wisconsinites laugh at us, it’s been a crazy ass year on weather.  Been a crazy ass year in my life, but then everybody knew that already, FUBAR is about the only way I could describe it at points of time this year.  Now she is the one who is FUBAR, and I’m just trying to steer clear of the impending wreckage and cause minimal damage to my daughter.   The summer of discontent is coming to a close rapidly, this fall is going to potentially be a reenactment of the Battle of Gettysburg.  Time will tell I suppose, or maybe she will become rational again.  I’m hoping for the latter, but gearing up for the former, let’s go to war dear.  You Pearl Harbored me, but I think we know how that ended up turning out in the end.

Things were pretty much peaceful today I didn’t speak to her until late this evening and that was comical in itself.  We had to talk some holiday weekend business with our daughter, and it was going fine until she was telling me about a bit of a glitch in the pick up on Friday.  I told her to figure it the hell out, and then she tells me she has been PLEASANT the whole time on the phone and I about choked on my own tongue.  I proceeded to tell her I’ve tried being pleasant for three months and you are nothing but a liar.  Good night, business is done for this evening.  Cracked me up she would say that, she’s nuts.  I actually had a thought today and it frightened  the hell out of me and I really don’t want it to happen, but if her master plan falls through and she is left with one of two choices.  Which one will she choose?

Work was slow today and I got to thinking a lot again (I know recipe disaster, but not today), but I realized I’ve come full circle a bit.  I’ve surrounded myself with people from my home town, even people I didn’t go to school with or know when I was in school.  It’s like we are all some sort of club.  None of us are happy with what our home town has become but we all have roots there.  It’s like the mafia only our roots don’t trace back to the island of Sicily they trace back to a dot on a map in southern part of our state.  My unofficial big sister went to school there, my pro bono therapist went to school there, my whole family went to school there, all my friends went to school there, even if I didn’t go to school with them, I’ve got a friend that I’ve met as an adult that went to “that other school in town” and he’s from our hometown, my divorce support group friend went to school there. Point is, I’ve insulated myself with people that I’m comfortable with.   I’m not that holy shit, WTF am I going to do guy anymore.  When I was young and dumb I couldn’t wait to get out of my home town, that didn’t work out for me.  A lot of us where  young and dumb and couldn’t wait to get out of the gossip capital of the world (or so we thought back then), most of us are still in living in the area, maybe not our “hometown” but we are still here!  I can’t forget my past as much as I tried to over the years and my past has helped me more than anything these past three months.  New and old acquaintances have helped me out so much, but all of us trace back to that one “town”.

While I’m at it is time to thank the one person the most that has walked through this river of mud with me from day one.  That is my best friend, we bust each others chops on a daily basis, but he is my zen master.  He was my best friend in high school, post high school, best man in my wedding, best friend after marriage, we had reasons for falling apart for awhile, but the last year and half since we have reconnected I will not be able to thank him enough.  He knows me better than I know myself and since this has began he has proven it time and time again.  All the shit we did when we were younger would be a story on it’s on, all the shit we’ve done the past three months I’ll never forget.  When it started going sideways the first person I went and saw was him, we talked for a good hour and his advice proved fruitless at the time(none of us saw what was actually happening) but it calmed me down at the moment.  Since then he has calmed me down countless times, whether it be crazy batshit divorce scenarios, or custody issues, or just life in general.  I’ve let him down so many times over the years for various reasons different phases of life, and he’s never let me down.  So he wins on the scorecard, but it’s my best friend no reason to keep score.  I’ve known the man for well over 20 years, to the best of my recollection we had one “fight” and that was in high school and he gave me back my wallet the next day because I left it at his house.  He’s had ample opportunity to see me and yell “stranger danger” over the years but never did.  I will never let him down again (I hope, making promises I’ve learned is a risky business). In late June through mid July I racked up more minutes on my cell phone than an Amazon call center, but a boatload of those minutes were with him and he answered the phone every time or immediately got back to me.  He’s my new rock to lean on right now, and I’ve needed him more than ever since this process has started.  I’ll never be able to repay him, since day one of this crap I ran every damn idea I’ve come up with through him first.  I’ve needed his advice from day one, just didn’t want to ask him at times, he is irreplaceable to me now.  He is ready to smack me in the head when I need it, he is ready to offer stern advice when I come up with a crazy ideas, he’s my brother from another mother, I have no way to thank him other than this blog.  It’s just how guys roll, unless we were both up at 2:00 a.m. with way to much to drink that neither of us would remember a conversation we had the night before.  I’m thanking him right now and both of us should remember it, he’s my pal!

Really didn’t have much to say until tonight’s phone conversation and I plan on thanking everybody eventually through my blog, but tonight it was my best friend.  Guess I’ve said enough tonight, now I’m going to wait for him to blow my phone up LOL.  He’s my best friend not yours, and I’m frigging lucky as hell that he’s always stuck with me!!!!!

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