It was a good run while it lasted, but after getting run over by something equivalent to a pack of starving elephants in Chicago and St. Louis this week, my beloved Cincinnati Reds have fallen back to .500. When does Indiana University start playing basketball again?
Still in contention for a wild card appearance, also I’m in contention for world’s sexiest blogger. Neither of these two things are more than likely going to happen.
My love affair of Diet Dr. Pepper took a bit of a hit this week. What is up with this #SweetFund promotion they are running with Walmart, and how could the biggest supporter of the 23 flavors of carbonated ecstasy (diet version) not be contacted for a little “wetting of the beak” promoting this campaign?! Granted, I’m not exactly chomping at the bit for anything related to the ghost of Sam Walton and his merry gang of discount shoppers.
I’m just going to chalk this one up with the Diet Dr. Pepper lords as a slight oversight and make a mental note to go check out this potential revenue stream I’m missing out on. Seriously, who better to earn a greenback or two promoting Diet Dr. Pepper than me? I’ve only waxed poetic on here roughly 2.5 million times about my love of the tasty quaff—and for free nonetheless!
The Skipah daily Twitter update: No celebrities or pseudo Hollywood types thought to follow me this weekend, but the fine group that runs the Twitter handle Let Me Pee On You followed me today in the hopes I would follow back and purchase their golden shower package they evidently are making a killing on with crafty marketing and the promise of a constant warm flow. Needless to say I didn’t follow back; I’ll stick to H2O-laden showers.
Freaking Hammy and his kinky trends! 3768 Followers? WTF, the world is a sick, sick place!
In other news, my co-worker and I have opened up our own little personal restaurant for the lunch crowd in my sector of the world. Just need some start up cash to bribe the health department representative in my area. The C & G Quarry Café is going to be a running theme for us all summer. Two dudes that like to cook and grill—bye-bye McDonalds this summer for lunch and hello to this!
This is how we roll at lunch!
We do take precautions to make sure we don’t disturb the Momma Mallard that is literally within 20 feet of us.
The C in the C & G café evidently likes to dabble in competitive racing via Power Racers with his own little girl. You know that Barbie battery operated Jeep your little Susy liked to ride so much that you would “secretly” forget to charge the battery? Well these merry band of marauders “soup” up their kids rides for a chance at fame and fortune at the local Elks lodge meeting over a few beers. My co-worker’s daughter almost won last Friday night, but dad in this case learned the hard way that running 36 volts of juice to something designed for 12 is a recipe for one of the greatest engineering disasters of the 21st century!
I recently did my first ever guest blogger post that you can read here. Felt kind of nice to write something without worrying about the Skipah’s Realm legal defense team hitting me with a cattle prod for using a grammatically incorrect comma or something similar. Actually felt good to channel my inner Elsa and “Let it go.” Unless you live in Antarctica or you live under your favorite pet rock, please don’t ask me to explain who Elsa is.
The winds of change and good fortune are sweeping the Skipahsphere. Guess who just landed a paid gig writing short blog posts for a digital media company…. that would be me. All I have to do is be snarky, witty, and up to date on current trending events. Talk about putting a ball up on a tee for me! I’ve got to say, the past seven days have been the most fun I’ve had in my blogging career. Traffic numbers I never dreamed possible, my #MyBabyTooBill post was picked up by a bunch of parenting groups and sent all over the internet (I wish the Brits could become temporary Hoosiers for a day), and I’m about to do something I never in a million years thought was possible, most certainly didn’t think I was capable of. Actually I’m not sure if I am or not, but, what the hell, you only live once!
I’ve enlisted the Madison, Indiana Hell’s Angels to promote my cause!
After talking to Miss Madison (who threatened a foot up my ass if I didn’t), my local central intelligence bureau, and my super-duper inner blogging circle, this dumbass is going to attempt to become the next Hoosier best seller, ala Kurt Vonnegut. I’m excited, scared, nervous, and truly humbled from everyone that has reached out to me and told me I am capable of this. I’m just a regular guy in southern Indiana that started doing this blogging thing to get my thoughts on paper when I went through my divorce. Two years ago, if you told me I was contemplating writing a book, I would have told you to seek professional help for your glue-sniffing issues.
About it for tonight, after a weekend prize fight between me and Tommy “the backbreaker” Tiller I’m off to look online at ancient massage techniques or acupuncture procedures. The Miss Madison produce stand should be open for business in a few short months as a result of this weekend’s fisticuffs! Now pass me the Bayer!
Look out Heinz, Miss Madison is coming for you!