Hoosier Hysteria: Volleyball Style

serving

Live women’s volleyball has quickly become my new favorite sport!

Busy days this weekend for Mr. Skipah and his gnarly gang of crewmates.  Evidently a pack of angry attorneys decided to launch a cyber war on yours truly (or I had a Google Chrome extension go rogue), and I’ve spent the better part of two days kicking myself in the ass for not getting a Computer Science degree as I clean up this mess.  No worries, the headquarters here at Skipah’s Realm are once again cyberly secured.  I hired an IT guy out of Denver to take care of this stuff for me, but evidently he’s been spending too much time finding the bottom of scotch bottles to prevent this brunt force attack from the Cyber Lawyer Light Brigade!

google-hit

My next search engine post could be epic!

Mr. Skipah did find a little time though to actually “enjoy” the weekend.  Since Miss Madison and I were without our offspring, she decided to sprinkle some joy on another group of unruly pre-teens known as her sixth grade volleyball team!  The Skipah’s Travelling Road Show show was off to none other than Bloomington, Indiana and Indiana Universityto take in some women’s indoor volleyball collegiate style.  I was held hostage by the promise of a few drops of Ex-Lax in my Diet Dr. Pepper if I didn’t attend with Miss Madison, as I was looking forward to a hernia exam more than I was looking forward to this day of estrogen.

big-red-liquors

Big Red liquors can only mean one thing, welcome to Bloomington!  Looks like some amazing deals to be had on tequila today.

Per Skipah’s usual mindset, he once again had no idea what he was talking about.  Not having graced the campus of Indiana University in 20 years, a ton of memories came rushing back, at least the ones I could remember!

wright-dorm

Wright Quad:  Were Skipah learned how the snooze button works on an alarm clock.

That is the window young Skipah hung his head out of many times in an attempt to let the opposite sex know he was available.  In an unrelated note I found out where the term “throws like a girl” came from due to the millions upon millions of rocks that landed well short of my face.  Hey Indiana University, I haven’t lived here since May of 1995, any chance you could at least “update” the place.  I’ve seen career politicians age better.

assembly-hall

Hallowed Assembly Hall is ugly, there I said it.  My beloved Hoosiers play there, but it looks like one giant eyesore.  Hopefully the renovations they are making will help it out.

diversity

Good to see the freak show never left town!

ale8

Ale 8 is available in Bloomington?  Did a Kentucky graduate relocate here or something?

As for the volleyball, it was the Hoosier Classic and the scintillating match-up of the mighty Hoosiers versus the Jaguars of Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis, better known as IUPUI in these parts and pronounced ewwwwyyyy-poooooeeeeyyy.  For those of you that have never seen big girl volleyball other than when the Olympics roll around every four years, you are missing out!  I was roped into the action from the second I laid eyes on it.  The speed of the game doesn’t transfer nearly as well on a television screen.  By the end of the first set I was checking online for season tickets!

volleyball-collage

These young women Rock the Casbah!

As a father though I can’t help but think THERE IS NO EFFING WAY my daughter is ever wearing shorts that miniscule and tight!  Good golly, I think a piece of dental floss covers more.  If 18-year-old pre-kid Mr. Skipah knew about the magic of women’s volleyball, he would have been at every game and never washed out 20 years ago.  For any young male struggling to make his grades and living with a B.A.C. higher than his G.P.A. start attending your university’s women’s volleyball games.  If that isn’t motivation for you to stay in school, I’m sure Walmart will have a spot waiting on you when you flunk out.

The good guys (girls) won three sets to zero, and these lovely young ladies hung around the court for a good 20 minutes signing autographs for all the kids and posing for pictures.  It meant the world to the sixth graders, and the Lady Hoosiers were a class act all the way around.  All that good karma paid off as they would go on to win the tournament later on that night with a victory over Cleveland State.  I call it pay back for that historic upset Cleveland State laid on IU in the 1986 NCAA basketball tournament.

team-shot

This should wrap up the coach of the year award for Miss Madison.  The girls were estactic!

About it for tonight, if ever in Bloomington though Mr. Skipah recommends Scotty’s Brewhouse for a bite to eat.  Get the Buffalo Chicken wrap and thank me later!  Now I’m off to scout our next opponent, those braniacs from Northwestern University have no idea what is about to hit them Monday night!

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25 Comments

  1. lol! I played volleyball one year in high school and our uniforms were not anywhere near flattering or drool-worthy lol! We had baggy Jersey’s tucked into baggy (not tight) gym shorts.

  2. Pingback: The Good, The Bad, And the Hysterically Insane Day I turned 40! -

  3. Wow, thanks for sharing!

  4. What if your little girl actually turns out to be a great volletball player? You going to stand in her way of getting a full ride scholarship to a college because of their team’s uniforms?

    Pray she letters in softball for college scholarship chances. From what you have posted, she might be good enough down the road to make the cut!

    Your female object of affection sounds like a really great team coach and teacher. Don’t loose her! Your little girl needs a respopnsible female figure in her life. You know advice on dealing boys, how to deal with the monthly cramp problems, picking out new bras, etc. Stuff you just don’t have any first hand knowledge of doing personally.

  5. Don’t you just love going back to your college! Every time you turn a corner a memory comes flooding back into your mind. Some good and some not so good. Lol!

  6. Yay, collegiate volleyball! I loved reading this because it brought me back to the three years my daughter played at a community college. Yes, little shorts and all! School sports uniforms and school academic uniforms–definitely a disparity there.

  7. Ahhh, always fun to relive the college days…..usually.

    I’m with you on the volley shorts being worn by our little girls…..NO WAY! But way to go for Miss Madison’s team, she’s obviously a great coach indeed!

  8. I like any place with the word brewhouse in it!

  9. My son’s university hasn’t got a ladies volleyball team (I don’t think) but he works part time as a bartender at a nightclub next door to the university halls. His first shift, at the start of Freshers week, was “Dirty Disco” night – he said he has never seen so many different boobs in his life – yep, topless clientele! As an 18 year old lad though, he wasn’t complaining! 😜

  10. Maybe I could hang out and drink with your IT guy?

  11. A lawyer linked to you? thats so funny. Entertaining as always and I am more than sure those shorts help them move better or something

  12. Well that’s nice 🙂
    I haven’t been on my campus since… 2000? 2001? I dunno. Sassy went last year. I think she’ll be attending, so I’ll see it then 😉

  13. Bahahahahha!!!!! Those shorts!!!! What cracks me up is that the school gives it to them to represent their school, but them you should read the dress code….. My daughter… ( You know the oldest one) wore them to school once, and I was called as she was inappropriately dressed!!! I had to laugh!!!

Tell Skipah all about it!