So much for all those “good” vibes I was talking about last night. Devastating news today in the #SloaneStaysHome campaign. I was told I am going to lose on July 27th. My attorney is one of the best around and pulls no punches win, lose, or draw. The contempt of court for this very blog is what July 27th is what court is all about. Followed by a quick 15-20 minute custody review that I’m going to be powerless to defend since I will have spent the previous hour getting my ass reamed for the pettiest crap imaginable by someone who passed bitter a long time ago. I was told I have no shot of winning.
Thirteen months ago I was told to be a better father, Ward Cleaver would envy me now. It was a lie then as much as it is now. I got set up from early last year and love blinded me from ever realizing it at the time. Love has been replaced with nothing but hate for what my little girl has gone through and will now possibly continue to go through. There is no amount of money I can come up with before July 27th and now that would change the outcome. Over words, no slander mind you there is not one thing I’ve ever published on this website in regards to my daughter and my divorce that are false. Was it worth it last July 12, 2014 when I hit publish? Yes it was, it healed me more than any therapist or friend could have. I let go of rage I had at the time, and got myself in a better place mentally. Now it has potentially cost me any chance of keeping my daughter in the area. I’m not throwing in the towel yet loyal reader but I was already up against third and long and my frigging center just got called for a holding penalty!
People that are funnier than me, better writers than me, and even smarter than me, all are great bloggers. They also have their children in their life. Tell me what is fair in the world of Indiana Family Law that a child that doesn’t want to move has to relocate when she has a viable parent more than willing to stay in the area? Sloane didn’t choose to be uprooted, this “best interest of the child” crap is complete bullshit. I say a few questionable words on a website I own and that is the ultimate standard as to my parenting abilities in the eyes of the court? Short answer is yes, it isn’t fair or sound even remotely legal, but I learned today it is.
Well I’m a man and by definition that makes me stubborn, Skipah isn’t going down without a fight! It’s time for a judicial review of family law in this state. The Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines are nothing more than empty words. I’ve followed them to a letter, and I’m the only parent to do so. I am supposed to get 90 days notice on any potential relocation, I got 62! Was told today it wouldn’t matter? Why in the hell not! It’s the state law! Family court just gets to rewrite laws from the bench without any oversight because I was a “bad” blogger? I use that term in jest, I get my daughter ripped away from her home town, only family she’s ever known, and more importantly ME! Over me calling out parenting fails?
Hammy and I came up with a new plan, NOBODY likes bad public relations. To quote Clemenza “It’s time to go to the mattresses”, all out media/political blitz coming from me. If you read this and have any media contacts please contact me. Local readers if you have friends at WAVE, WLKY, WHAS, or WDRB please let me know. My state representative Ed Clere and state senator Ron Grooms are getting emails sent about the blatant violations of state laws should I lose. Retweet, reblog, send out on carrier pigeons, whatever to these two at and ask them to do something about this blasphemy!
I don’t ask for much, but tonight I’m begging to get as much attention as possible to the injustice that my daughter is about to go through. I got my heart broken last year and tried to end my life, I had it used against me in divorce proceedings. That was the leverage she needed to become the primary custodial parent. Evidently being the primary custodial parent lets you sweep a ton of crap under the rug that would have me hung if the shoe was on the other foot. I’m all healed these days now I just want my daughter in my life. To attend the school she has always called home and not sub-standard school in one of the worst educational states in the country. To be able to see all of her grandparents and friends whenever she wants. I’m not a criminal, I don’t have a drug problem (caffeine not withstanding), yet I’m in no position to fight over words. Words that never named anybody unless they exposed themselves. Words that exposed the lies and deceit. Words that helped me heal and become the father she supposedly wanted.
The system is broken, this little blogger in New Albany, Indiana is going to do his best to fix it I just need plenty of help!
Steer Skipah to the top! (Vote once per day)
Yeah I’ve read some sad stories about Florida dads, Indiana is fairer than most states especially with child support but this letting a parent uproot a seven year old for own selfish behavior is complete bullshit!
In Florida unless criminal violence there is no custody provision. It is called shared parental responsibility with a parent of the primary residence and a parent of the secondary residence. The parent of the primary residence can take the income tax deduction no matter what is paid by parent of secondary residence and parent of primary residence can live anywhere in the country and nothing you can do about it. Parent of the secondary is entitled to some form of visitation usually summer when school’s out(that sucks if you have to work). You’ll also be paying for travel cost. I suffered. I know. Things change, people change. In my case after 12 years of child support I got custody of my son and daughter when in early teens. That certainly was a change. I would recommend joining a divorced fathers support group. You’ll get legal advice and emotional support. Thanks visit my blog.
Family law is pretty ambiguous at best, I’m not giving up hope just kind of deflating. Don’t worry though Mike got plenty of support and even if I do lose on July 27th that battle has just begun!
Son of a gun man. This sucks. I’m so sorry Gary. I hope your lawyer was just setting expectations low. It ain’t over til it’s over, so we can still cling to whatever hope we have. We’re all behind you on this one, I just hope it’s enough.
Thank you Karen! All the support from afar from you and every one else means so much to me! My daughter getting subjected to this crap the FIRST weekend in the new house is just mind blowing!
Gary, I wish I could do more than offer my support from afar, but know that I continue to hope for a favorable outcome for you and your daughter. Trust that, if nothing else, Sloane knows the efforts that you are making and the unconditional love you are providing.
If I want to take a job at Walmart and throw away 15 years of my career sure. I will still get her on my weekends win lose or draw it’s only an hour away.
If you lose in court (wouldn’t wish that on any parent), is there a possibility of you relocating also? I know it may sound far fetched but that is a way for you to be there for her and still have your weekend visitations.
No matter what happens, just keep in mind that Sloane will not always be this age. As she gets older, she may have more control over where she lives. But also, 18 is not as far away as you might think. No matter what, she will always be your daughter, and she will always remember the good times ya’ll shared.
Sometimes, the best thing is to let go. It’s not like you’re going anywhere, so you’ll always be around in case she needs you. And you and Sloane can keep in touch through Skype. A long distance relationship is not the best thing, but it’s a lot better than nothing, which is the kind of relationship a lot of kids have with a parent.
I’m not saying you should give up, just be prepared.
Painkills, I’ve looked at every option imaginable. It’s a complete crock of shit. I’ve got a very good attorney one of the best in the area, the game is rigged. Since I don’t have 50/50 during the school year my opinion means nothing. You can legally just take the child wherever you want unless I can prove she’s a junkie or something (she’s not). It’s 1000 % bullshit. It’s not in the best interest of the child at all, however, a judge doesn’t really want to see two bickering adults in court he would rather be putting criminals in jail. Basically I’m screwed unless I can think of something.
Did your attorney mention filing a contempt of court for not giving you enough notice of the move? Still, that just means Sloane’s mother will delay leaving, which is not a solution.
I don’t understand why the court doesn’t look more fully at the new stepdad, the reason for this move in the first place. A man with his kind of history should not be looked at as a better parent than a father who is fully involved in the child’s life. In fact, his history should be cause for alarm. After the move, Sloane will be spending even more time with him, so it should be relevant to the court.
What’s in the best interest of the child? Maybe your daughter needs an attorney of her own. An attorney ad litem could be appointed by the court and maybe then it wouldn’t cost too much.
Did you ever attend therapy? Just wondering if your therapist could write a letter saying that he/she suggested that you take up blogging for therapy. Or maybe you could find some scientific articles that back up this fact. Writing as therapy is a proven method for treatment, and it’s a lot better than not having any treatment at all.
Hell I was told it was a coin flip at best even without this petty non sense.
Blogging is one of the most therapeutic forms of writing for numerous reasons, but unfortunately it also leaves you vulnerable to petty bs by those who would chose to attack and destroy you. I’m sorry there isn’t more the law can do in your favor right now. It’s a messed up system for sure. 🙁
Unfortunately since I’m self hosted I’ve learned I don’t get to offer a reblog button. Chalk it up to one more of the zillion WordPress frustrations! I’m never giving up, karma, god, something cosmic in the universe is going to bite her in the ass one day!
Best interests of the child is a complete lie, but you already knew that!
My attorney is a realist pal, I know it sounds like she isn’t doing her best but believe me one of the best in the area. It’s the system that is broken, I am going to get reamed for the pettiest of stuff imaginable. Over someone that checked out over a year ago, time to regroup. The fight isn’t over just a setback.
The system is broken, mom’s have way to much power in family law.
where is the reblog button? I would like to get this out to more readers . I am so very sorry you are going through all this, hang in there, you are a great Father, please don’t ever give up.
Oh Gary I’m so incredibly sorry to read this! I’m remaining optimistic for you because it isn’t over until the fast lady sings and I haven’t sung yet! I’m praying that your attorney is completely wrong and some miracle will happen or something! Try to remain as hopeful as you can you still have a few weeks and anything could happen between now and then!
Wishing you a fantabulous Friday!
Much love always,
Lysa xx
Damn, your attorney should at least try putting more effort into things before just giving up. At least you have a great spirit, hang tight my friend!
I am so sorry for this frustration and the crazy system you are dealing with. Hang in there and try not to let it get you down. This struggle you are going through matters, it will matter to your daughter, it will matter to you, and it will matter to others. I’ll keep you in my prayers.