I need a single gay black father to please come forward!

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While waiting for my little Danielle Steele to finish her story up (I hope to have it out before August), and while combing the Internet (Facebook) a few things are getting just a little to wonky in the world.  I’m not talking about the Supreme Court granting equality for all people and who they choose to marry.  I support the decision and even gave them a shout out.  Also LGBT community where Ale-8 is popular I’m pretty sure you aren’t so that was kind of a kick in the teeth to them.  No this confederate flag non-sense is getting borderline insane.  I don’t think it should fly over any state capital, after that who the hell cares.  Yeah if you are some dumb ass redneck using it as wallpaper and flying it off your smoke stacks on your 1998 Chevy S-10,  I’m pretty sure we know where you stand on racism.  Taking the Dukes of Hazzard of T.V. Land though has gone too far.  The only people that should be offended by Bo & Luke Duke are residents of Hazard County, Kentucky.  Actually they shouldn’t be, but the truth can hurt sometimes.  There is nothing remotely racist about the show.  I say this not watching it in 25 years, but by now I’m sure someone would have spoken up if it that show was truly that offensive.

Political correctness has run amok, hell that last paragraph alone is liable to have Jesse “Bullhorn” Jackson and the good Reverend Al all up in my shit.  From what I’ve read I’m now considered “privileged” white.  Yeah I’m so frigging privileged!  I’ll trade places with anybody white, black, green, rainbow, it really doesn’t matter right now.  I’m a father in the biggest fight of his life going further in debt each and every passing day just for the “privilege” of keeping my daughter in my life full time.  I and a trillion other men don’t have a “spokesperson” lobbying Congress to get laws changed.  You know why? We spent everything in divorce/custody just to get this point.  We have no “race” baiting hypocrites planning protests and fanning flames and at the same time getting richer because of the notoriety.

We have no champions like the LGBT community, organizing protests and marches and getting donations from corporations to fight for a cause they believe in.  We are usually single men relying on grass roots movements that get about enough money contributed to our cause has the price of a bag of grass.  Our voice is through whomever we reach out to in blogging world (of course mine gets me in trouble with ex), or Facebook movements that don’t get very far.  Where is my activist with enough money to make this a relevant topic?  All you read or see is studies on divorce rates on the rise and the decay of the two parenting system.  Not mentioned is the plight of the single dad who WANTS his child in his life.

You think a bunch of common single dads who are in shit custody battles can organize a march on Washington D.C. or any other major metropolitan city?  Hell no we can barely afford to travel (if we are lucky), let alone take the time off of work.  We have no organizing body it’s not for a lack of trying none of us have the means to make it happen.  We aren’t a huge voting bloc so we aren’t on any politician’s radar.  Thomas Fidler is the only successful man that I know of to make “some” difference in organizing a group effort to get laws changed and had some modicum of success.  What did he get for his efforts?  A lawsuit from a family law attorney in Texas when he exposed that she was lobbying against shared parenting bills in the state of Texas.  He founded the Father’s Rights Movement on Facebook and now is in litigation against a powerful law firm in Texas.  Don’t tell me this isn’t a rigged system.

So yeah white privilege is great, I don’t pretend to know what other races and sexual orientations have had to endure in this country I can only speak about the complete injustice that is being a single father that wants to be in his child(s) life.  So the next time Rush Limbaugh, Rachel Maddow, or any other talking heads wants to get on their bully pulpit and shout down the haters of whatever side they are against why doesn’t one of them throw us single dads a bone.  Because we aren’t relevant in the big picture, we don’t “move the needle” per say.  Not going to change anytime soon because the next time some high profile dad is in one of our shoes he will have more than enough resources to defend himself.  Every child needs their father and unfortunately too many took that right for granted and killed it for the good dads.  I have strived every day of my life as father to not be like mine was, other’s finally reach the point of no return and lose the will to fight and completely give up.  Look up the suicide rate of divorced single dads it frigging frightening.  Luckily I came out of that rabbit hole a year ago and plenty of fight left in me!  Now if only I could get rich and powerful gay black man to champion single dad rights we would have a fighting chance!

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4 Comments

  1. I am also upset about “Dukes of Hazzard” getting cancelled. I don’t think it’s racist, either. Better buy it on DVD while you still can. Censorship makes me uncomfortable. Even removing The Donald’s clothing line from Macy’s is bullshit.
    Anyhow, about single dads. Yeah, so many dads bailed on their kids. Mine never paid ANY child support and you can know that my brother and I suffered because of that. But we also suffered because he chose not to be in our lives. My brother really needed his father.

  2. Not much to say here, but glad you’re here man! Well said on everything!

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