I’m an Asshole


I’ve got Cubs-Reds live on the tube right now so, of course, my little ninja KGB hamster somehow got a hold of one of Sloane’s teddy bears and is knocking around his personal “Cub” in hopes to bring bad luck to the hated Chicago Cubs, I reminded him his similar antics didn’t fare so well against the Cardinals this past weekend.  Something about being caged against his will all day he builds up anger and likes to take it out on Reds opponents any way he can was his response.  Personally, I think Hammy needs a conjugal he hasn’t mentioned any recent activity on HotHamsters.com, and his baseball addiction is driving him batty.

You know who else has a baseball addiction?  Yours truly, my love for the Reds is well documented.  I also love nights at the Little League park, especially today!  Since I was childless tonight I headed over to the boys park and looped that around my evening walk since I’m less than a mile from it.  Went to watch my super-duper friend’s son play in his game today.  I even witnessed……..co-parenting!  My awesome friend is a female and it is 1000% platonic.  Watching her and her ex-interact on concerns for their children was like seeing a foreign film with no subtitles.  I don’t get this luxury, but at this point, I don’t even care I gave up trying.  Luckily the rain held off long enough for me to walk my happy ass back home so I could jump in the car and go see my own child play in her game at, gasp, 7:30.  The softball complex is a little farther than the boy’s complex.

My daughter rocked it tonight!  Made contact in all THREE plate appearances and reached base all three times.  There is a fine line between a “hit” and “reaching on an error” at that level so I’ll just say she hit the ball and got on base.  Not only that, she scored three runs!  By the third run, she was rounding third and heading for home with the grace of a gazelle.  Tonight was the most fun I think I’ve ever witnessed her playing softball.  Her team is now 2-0 and frankly I’m going to be surprised if we lose.  She even told me in between innings that she was “scared” when I questioned her why her answer melted my heart.  “Because I’m hitting the ball!”  I informed her that is the object of the game and maybe she is just getting better, at least one parent enjoyed watching their daughter tonight!  My bad ass platonic friend even showed up with her family to watch the game, and I guess the ex-thinks this is who I went on a date with.  The nonstop looks we were receiving was comical at best (get over me already), plus her youngest son is a classmate of Sloane’s and she was so excited he was at her game.  It’s going to be a fun summer at the ball park.

Life is good these days, I mentioned my date this weekend, I’m getting on my feet financially (still ways to go), school is going O.K. with my damn internet woes, but nothing will top the end of the softball game.  I got called an asshole by the ex!  That’s in direct violation of the decree that she loves to throw at me any chance she can get.  I didn’t provoke it, I didn’t egg it on, and I didn’t do anything to warrant being called an asshole.

She was bitching about the game ending at nine because you know the other 20 kids that are in the second grade also including a class mate on the other team.  She informed me she would not agree to softball next year if games end this late, I reminded her that she will agree to do whatever our daughter wants.  She informed me that another child left 20 minutes earlier, I reminded her the kid left 10 minutes earlier because I was standing right next to that parent when she took her daughter home.  I was then threatened to “keep talking about her” and I inquired to what she was talking about.  This blog is what she was referring to, but she just said: “you know what I’m talking about.”  I was then called an asshole three straight times by her, when I asked her if she was calling me an asshole she stepped back and said “I don’t know if I did or not”,  too bad I don’t talk to her at all without my phone in record mode.  Granted it was in my pocket so hopefully it is legible.

My advice to her is she or her attorney can subscribe to the blog either through WordPress or via email.  You get instantaneous notifications when I post, don’t frigging threaten me, though.  Watching our daughter tell you she isn’t sleepy and wanted to participate in the post-game meeting with her coach was awesome.  You becoming some bitter person because our daughter wants to be part of her team, is completely on you.  I even reprimanded Sloane for talking back to you, Sloane kept wanting to speak her mind but you kept telling her to save it for the ride home.  Yeah, you didn’t want me to hear her throw you under the bus AGAIN.  You don’t want me to talk about you start acting like my child’s mother!


Better yet, just go away this is the bed you provide our daughter!  Your parents granted me access in the house to take this picture.  My daughter sleeps on a couch, and has since July of 2014!  Your lack of washing her blankets has been well documented!

Shut the hell up and start acting like a mom instead of a bitter ex-wife.  Bury me with lawyers and court.  You lost the parenting battle, so bring it on!  God, karma, and the fact you have a separate agenda concerning our daughter is going to catch up to you.  Watching you eyeball me tonight with a female that there is no “romantic” threat was hilarious.  Even another parent noticed it, you went full redneck our daughter hasn’t.  Get a life is all I can say, mine is going great dealing with you is a pain in the ass anymore you don’t want me to talk about you?  The internet is beautiful, hash tags are beautiful, go away and quit being a dumb ass.  Public records are beyond awesome do you want me to re-educate you on how this works?

I’m more than happy to let your employer and federal agencies know about conflict of interests.  I haven’t because you are my daughter’s mother.  You don’t get to take her to Frankfort, Lawrenceburg, or anywhere else in BFE Kentucky.  Your behavior tonight pissed me off, I will talk about you all I want without naming you.  Locally anybody that knows us already knows our story (you lost there also), globally nobody has no idea of you real identity, You will start playing by the rules your self, and since you read this blog like it’s a new issue of  Coastal Living you just got put on notice.  Don’t ever threaten me again, you have never been named personally.  I’m not an asshole as you said tonight, I’m a proud dad that just watched his daughter reach base three times and never once looked bitter about it!  I would suggest you quit lying to our daughter and let her enjoy softball and you quit acting like a seven-year-old yourself.  Priority number one is Sloane, start thinking about her!

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  1. Pingback: R.I.P. Hammy!

  2. Pingback: The Skipah Softball Date Contest | Skipah's Realm

  3. WOW! WOW! WOW! (Had to type that three times to stay with the theme you have going on here. tee hee!) I shouldn’t be so surprised at the new all time low SHE has stooped to but c’mon already… She has beyond lost it upstairs! I’m still going with it must be a brain tumor that has caused her to change so much! Not being funny but rather serious. It’s the only thing that can possibly make sense in my mind at least.

    Oh, and that “bed” is beyond pathetic! Who lets their own child sleep like that for damn near a year? On occasion I allow my girls to sleep on the couch but they have perfectly comfortable and CLEAN beds to sleep on in their own rooms! Okay, I’m getting off of my soap box now.

    I was so super excited to hear about Sloane’s game and her improvement on the softball skills. Being afraid of hitting the ball is so normal for a girl her age. I’ll never forget when I first hit the ball it was a scary ordeal! I got over it of course but initially it kinda freaked me out! LOL Must be a blonde thing IDK?!?! Wish I could have been there to watch your proud Daddy moment and Sloane’s awesome game! You are both always in my thoughts and prayers!

    Oh and I’m proud of you for always having your phone on record when “dealing” with the egg donor. I have to do the same myself unfortunately. Stay strong because my friend I think you are about to see some positive changes for you and Sloane next month!

    Much love,
    Lysa xx

  4. Way to go Sloane!!! Stand your ground Gary, you need custody of this child, I hope the court figures this out.

  5. Heh. Three seems to be the magic number today.

  6. If I had a daughter, and only one bed in my house (which I assume is what the ex wife sleeps in) I’d make damn sure my daughter slept in there and I’d sleep on the couch… I was pretty sure that’s a paternal motherly thing that any mum would do – ensure the kids have better than you. Guess I was wrong!

    On a lighter note! Extremely happy for all the 3s for the Blonde Bomber, awesome job Sloane!

  7. Being called an asshole THREE times, Sloane hitting the ball THREE times and scoring THREE runs, and THREE strikes until an out…..hmmmm, I actually have no clue where I’m going with this. I thought I did, but then lost it. Kinda like that ex of yours, she’s totally lost it! There, that’s where I was going.

    Give Sloane a super high-five for me for her awesome game, that’s great man! Must be something about that whole going to practice thing, huh? Good thing you’re there to take the red-eye to bring her to practice.

    That couch bed looks cool, for a sleepover or pet bed, but not a permanent bed for a kid! Poor girl, maybe get a mattress to give your ex for Mother’s Day?

    • She “rocked the Casbah” at softball. It was uber cool seeing her have so much fun, then the to see the ex go bat shit crazy after the game was just icing on the cake. #winning in a competition that I never envisioned nor wanted.

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