I’m Getting Re-Treated!

This obviously is going to be a bad day!

Before I get a radical vigilante pack of mommy bloggers showing up at my door hurling Molotov Cocktails and questioning my manhood, I would be remiss to wish all the moms out there a happy belated  Mother’s Day from the staff of Skipah’s Realm. No word yet if Antonio Cromartie made sure all 13 of his kids contacted their mothers.

When you hear you dearly beloved mention the words “I am going to Target to pick up a few things,” you already know poker night with the guys is going to have to wait another week possibly months and a good chance your banker is quoting you second mortgage rates.  About the only thing that is worse is when you are at the dentist office and he looks at your X-Ray and mumbles something close to “Mr. Mathews this isn’t good.”  One of the previous two scenarios happened, and much to Miss Madison’s chagrin there isn’t a Target in our hometown.

I have few possessions that are “monetarily” valuable.  My 401k, this website and my mouth.  Easy tiger, I don’t make any money with my mouth, but a rough estimate in my head put the extensive repairs in mouth worth about 10K in 40 years on this planet.  Cavity fillings, root canals, crowns, extractions, it’s not that I don’t use the fine products from Colgate, I just drew the short straw way back when it came to “good” teeth.  For that matter I got screwed over when I was assembled and they put a half functioning left ear on this otherwise “Adonis” like figure known as me.  We will now pause for 15 seconds while everyone recovers from the international eye roll that just took place.

So when your dentist summarizes your X-Ray quicker than processing any book written by E. L. James, you know you are hosed.  If you have never had a root canal, consider yourself lucky.  Of course after said root canal you think any issues in that area of the mouth are now in the clear for future procedures.  Welcome to root canal retreatment procedures, any thoughts and sympathy cards will be much appreciated.  Why? Because this isn’t the first time I’ve had this gut wrenching surgery!  It sucks worse than a lawyer bill!  I’ll spare you the graphic details, partially because this 20 lb. bag of ice is hard to hold against my mouth and type one handed.  No idea on the costs for all this, but you better believe after this surgery I’ll have more invested in my mouth than any porn star!

Since I’m all over the place today, I should mention my DIY weekend sponsored by Beck’s Electrical who took the time out on his Mother’s Day weekend to make sure I didn’t find out a 110 is more than a bad bowling score.  Recently at the corporate offices, our wall outlets have been dying at a rate that would suggest electric genocide.  I’m “sort of” handy when it comes to this stuff, but one outlet even had this Bob Vila University dropout baffled.  A quick shout out to Beck’s Electrical and he was on the phone with me lickety split to make sure no future home insurance claims were going to be processed or the area fire department didn’t have to make any emergency runs.  If you are in the southern Indiana/Louisville Metro area and need some electrical work done, give Beck’s Electrical a call.  I got the friend rate, but I’m pretty sure a case of premium beer or a ticket to a Chicago Cubs game will solve all your electrical woes.  As an added bonus accidentally touching a bare wire had me feeling more warm and tingling than I had in a long time!

I would post the video, but I don’t need the Internet Police chiding me for my language!

I’ve recently undertaken my largest landscaping project since last year’s Great Wall of Madison project, which has become a modern day Field of Dreams in this area.  I’m constantly signing autographed photos, speaking at landscaping conventions, and recently introduced  The Great Wall of Madison postcards.  Or I’m just full of myself, but since it’s wedding season I’m entrusted to get this place in tip top shape for the Madison phase of the reception.  Four pavers down and roughly 225 to go!

Always looking for volunteers at Skipah’s Realm!

No Sloane this weekend as she was doing her own Mother’s Day thing, but unbeknownst to her forces are in play right now and this fall I will either lock up the 2017 Father of the Year, or provide the biggest let down since the series finale of Mad Men.  Guess who is rolling into Indianapolis this December?  I’ve already got a hall pass secured from Miss Madison and we plan on getting jiggy with it at the Katy Perry concert later this year!  Stay tuned for updates on this summer long saga of me desperately seeking a reviewing gig for backstage access!

This kid thrives at a concert!  She may have missed her calling as a band groupie, wait, forget I ever said that!

About it for now, the ibuprofen is starting to wear off, so I’m hitting the darknet for something a little stronger on this rogue tooth.  T-minus 45 days and counting before I’m re-married and I can’t wait!  Now to check with the promotions department on what I need to do to get the good folks at Genesis Bows to respond to an email!

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  1. Pingback: Unemployment Days: George "Speck" Crum-American Legend! ⋆

  2. Damn you….now I have to calculate the value of my dental work.

  3. Hey, I’ve got cramps from rolling my eyes so much Mr. Adonis.

  4. All the feels on this one! I got the short straw too when it comes to the dental crap. I have more crowns then the freaking queen. Such anxiety about it all. I got a crap dentist when I moved to NC who made it all so much worse but last 5 years I finally got a good one so thankfully not as much going on but ugh. Just thinking about it gives me anxiety!

  5. So…you hate dentists more than lawyers, right?!

  6. Seven root canals–short straw here too–and I never knew re-treatment was a thing until the last one. Thankfully, I ended up not needing that, but it was iffy there for a while. OMG, how can they do that to us??? PS I love the term, electric genocide.

  7. I, too, have experienced the re-treatment of a root canal — not fun! Thanks for making me smile, nonetheless, with your post.

  8. As a retired dentist, I understand your pain!! I’ve even had a root canal—no one is exempt!!
    But at least we can fix most things nowadays unlike back in George Washington’s time!!

  9. Busy, busy, busy.
    And ow.
    I’ve had five? six? root canals and one re-treatment. There were 4-6 roots on every tooth but one, and so I really, really, sympathize with you on these matters.
    Sending you all the best wishes that this is not what your summer will be like!

  10. My teeth are not so awesome either,despite brushing and flossing every day…..I keep seeing Martha Raye in my mirror!

  11. I’ve been lucky enough to not have root canals, but my wife lets me know they really suck! I’d offer to help you over there, but looks like I’ll be tied up with other things at home. 🙂

  12. No root canals for me… But TARGET wallet rapings have happened more than a dozen times. However, in my last trip, I had every intention of spending like $400 but I only walked out $150 down. So if I continue to go into Target with THAT attitude, I will always surprise myself and be happy that I didn’t spend “SO MUCH” – lol!

  13. I have had a root canal before so I know just how fun that is 😐 I hope you feel better soon!

  14. You’ve just reminded me to get to the dentist. I have a phobia regarding dentists that has hindered me from all dental visits. So I’m on a quest to find a gentle dentist 🙂

  15. Have never had a root canal in my life, thankfully! Have you tried chewing an aspirin (unless like me you are allergic to asprin)? Heard from the old wives tales that it helps.

    My husband has had 2 root canals since the beginning of 2015. He has bad teeth. I was blessed with a good set of teeth, but the first three day weekend of my freshman year in college, kinda introduced my face to the sidewalk. broke my jaw, damaged my 2 front teeth, and deviated my srptum (means I now have a diviated septum)! 2 caps cover my two front teeth, which are permanently discolored.

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