I’m not 20 anymore

No blog last couple of night between vampire work hours catching up to me and I had plans on Thursday evening just haven’t had time to blog.  I think last night was the earliest I’ve been asleep on a Friday in years.  Which ended up costing me later in the day but more on that in a bit.  So let’s retrace the last few days.

Thursday was yet another early bird special at work, nothing much to report on the waging war of divorce, but during the evening walk to be near school when cheer leading practice was over the SBE was actually polite enough to roll down the window so my daughter could holler at me.  I guess that is a small improvement over prior cheer leading rendezvous.  Didn’t really get to talk to my daughter that evening she had a stomach bug and just wanted to get to bed.  Think she ate to much and got overworked at cheer leading so I didn’t take it personal.  After that I had places to be and didn’t have time to blog and that pretty much wraps up Thursday.

Friday was another early bird special (four days in a row), after surviving work all day and figuring out I’m not in my 20’s anymore it was off to get my daughter.  Evidently she was having a bad day also, and threw a fit the whole way home.  The SBE and I actually had a civil conversation about the welfare of our child for once, and a combination of being sick the day before, pretty wild day at Brownie’s evidently, and her just going through more than she has let on at times just caught up with her.  It was only the second time since all this began I’ve had a behavior problem with her, after getting her calmed down and talking to her, we had a lengthy discussion about all things going on with her.  She didn’t want her mother to go with her on Saturday to Pioneer Day’s with Brownies and I asked her to elaborate on it.  Her only response was that she was “embarrassed” to be with her mother now.  I asked her to explain and she wouldn’t, just that she was embarrassed.  So I’m not sure what to read into that, but her troop leader mother took that opening and ran with.  Evidently she headed out of town ASAP, never mind she is a troop leader and probably put the other troop leaders in a bind for Saturday with transportation and so forth.  Like I was told months ago, “your the parent if she doesn’t like something you have to be the parent”  Amazing how if it benefits her it’s “what our daughter wants” but months ago when it involved me it was “your her father figure it out”.  Ray Charles and Phyllis Diller can see what is going on, to bad the SBE can’t.  So the rest of our Friday consisted of going to grocery store to get some provisions, and I let her ride her scooter in the cul-de-sac across the street.  With her stomach issues the night before and her big day for Saturday I didn’t want her overheating so i just sat on my outside chair and watched her make laps around the cul-de-sac.  After that I gave her the option of bath Friday night or early this morning.  She chose this morning, so after it got time to come in I let her read her Ivy and Bean books and she did that until it was time to go to bed.  Meanwhile, I was watching TV in recliner and next thing I know it’s one a.m. and I had been asleep since 9:45, went straight to bed and was up by 6:30 a.m. this morning leading up to today.

So Saturday rolls around and like I said earlier I was asleep EARLY last night, and first day off in a week and I’m up by 6:30 ugh, my daughter was up by seven though and did she want breakfast cooked?  No, her new love is honey nut cheerios in a bowl and reading her books.  Fine with me, I had a boatload of laundry to do and got started on it.  It got close to time to get her to Pioneer Days and I told her she needed boots and she remembered the pair her mother bought her in Phoenix earlier in this year.  So we took a trip over to the old house and while she visited our old neighbor I grabbed them.  She felt like hot shit in her pink cowboy boots, and what the hell her mom may get mad but she’s going to out grow them before she ever gets to wear them.  At this point I don’t really care what her mom thinks, it makes my daughter happy and her mother can pound sand.  After dropping her off for pioneer days I had myself quite the busy day.  My buddy talked me into going to the auction two doors down from my old house and I actually got a hell of a deal on some lamps and ladders, and got my daughter the four foot dog doll she had her eye one when I we were at the neighbors earlier.  My first auction experience was “interesting” to say the least but for 30 bucks I felt like I did pretty good.  Came home finished my laundry, mowed grass, and finally got back porch rearranged.  After all that it was a little after four and I started watching a TV show to kill time and next thing I know I fell asleep.  This is were I screwed up since I missed pick up time for my daughter from Pioneer Days.  I feel like a heel that happened, (NCIS has gotten boring) but I guess between her mom missing a Brownie event and me missing a pick up time it’s a wash just wish it didn’t go down that way.  I really want to thank the other Brownie leaders for waiting on me as long as possible, but I was knocked out in the recliner with no alarm set nor did I think I needed to.  Chalk it up to lack of sleep for  the whole week, but no excuse, I’m disappointed in myself.

Lengthy conversation with my daughter at bed time, she loves her books, she loves me, and she is resenting her mother.  Don’t have magic wand to wave for some of the answers she seeks, but she brought up last weeks conversation about “mommy” not deserving me and hopes that I find some one that does.  I just told her to quit worrying about that, anybody I ever meet will know first and foremost that nobody comes before her.  I am starting to worry she is so resentful of her own mother she wants me to find somebody that can replace that void.  I’m not ready for that and I’m not going to pretend I am, her mother loves her I know she’s just bat shit crazy right now.  Hopefully, this won’t be an issue going forward but I can’t rule anything out with the SBE anymore.

Going to finish up some football games and get some sleep.  Sorry no blogs last two nights just circumstances prevented it.



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