Life is good :).
If you have ever had the pleasure of going through a blindsided divorce and ensuing custody battle, you know it pretty much sucks. Your life gets shaken up worse than your next turn at Yahtzee. Eventually, you will come out of the haze and be stronger than ever; it just takes some time. The one thing that really takes some getting used to is old traditions are no more. You used to take your kid(s) to the park on the third Friday of every month, you can forget it unless that day falls on your “parental” time. The whole family liked to go look for the perfect pumpkin at the local orchard every year around Halloween, those days are long gone now. Do you know what the best part about losing old traditions is though? It’s all about making new ones!
Let me tell you what new tradition Mr. Skipah has now. It’s known as the 18th Century Marketplace at Locust Grove the weekend before Halloween. Last year Miss Madison and I got to take our beloved offspring with us. This year we were kid free for the newly time honored event, no kids, no problem. I love hob-knobbing with grown ass men and women that dress up in their best colonial wardrobe peddling their wares. Granted some of these merchants must have spent a little time in the Orient building inventory last week, but no worries I’m all for capitalism in any shape or form. I will say I had no idea the Chinese could make period era replicas of 18th century compasses and weaponry!
For a mere eight bucks or the cost of a drink in Nashville, Tennessee, you can spend the day taking in everything Colonial. I’ll actually even give the two-day Locust Grove event the nod over Colonial Williamsburg, Virginia in the Pepsi Taste Test Challenge in terms of authenticity. Although not nearly as large in scale as Williamsburg, it’s also not nearly as expensive and definitely not nearly as “touristy.” Plus, they have a gift shop. My love of gift shops is actually getting a tad creepy according to Miss Madison.
So what is Locust Grove, you may be asking? No, it’s not some country club for locust insects to play croquet and bitch about their wives while smoking imported cigars. Founded in 1790, this 55-acre tract of land was the home of William Croghan and his wife Lucy Clark Croghan. Maiden name of Clark in 1790, she just might know some famous people as you are probably wondering. That 100-watt light bulb that just went off in your head was for a reason, she had two siblings that may or may not have played an intrical part in the birth of our nation way back when.
Her younger brother is William Clark, he and this other hipster named Meriweather Lewis formed a duo way back when that either had a bestselling rap album in colonial times or led the greatest expedition before the advent of modern GPS. History novices, that would be the Lewis & Clark Expedition I’m referring to. Unfortunately, when the Clark family had Sunday dinner, young William had to take a back seat to his older brother.
Who is this famous brother you are wondering? None other than this area’s favorite son General George Rogers Clark. He’s had more cities, towns, counties and schools named after him in southern Indiana/northern Kentucky than a politician. He is even the founder of the pride and joy of the Bluegrass State…Louisville, Kentucky. When General Rogers was done whipping the Brits’ asses in the Revolutionary War and fell a tad too ill to take care of himself, he finished his waning years at Locust Grove before his death.
When you get a statute you must be important!
O.K. history lesson is over, flash forward to present day and Miss Madison and I were ready to get our colonial on! Not since the business model for the Colonial Bread Company was launched has the word colonial been typed this many times. First stop for us, of course, was the food. Skipah was ready to eat a bear if they offered it on the menu, but instead settled for Lord Wilhelm of Essex’s centuries old Carolina rice with beef concoction that had my taste buds overdosing on goodness! The hickory smoke filling the air alone was worth the price of admission, this was just icing on the cake. Since Miss Madison and I actually felt like we literally had eaten a bear, we bypassed desserts and some unbelievable looking bread products on the hunt to take in the marketplace.
Food porn at its finest!
Since most of this stuff is marked up worse than your local shylock’s interest rates, we did some of the finest window shopping this side of the Mississippi River. I could have blown out my 401k alone on the cartography shop, but then I was reminded by Miss Madison that one day I might like to retire and not resort to a life juggling hearty dinner choices such as ramen noodles and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. A few items were purchased but can’t be disclosed at the moment due to the 60 days until Christmas Santa Gag Order that was recently passed at the North Pole. Besides, by now it was getting late in the day and we had to go see the main event before we left.
Not sure how I’m going to keep my pet lamb hidden from Sloane for the next couple of months but I’ll figure something out!
Since the marketplace is a reproduction of the colonial (that word again) era, the backdrop of course is The Revolutionary War. This year it was the re-enactment of the Battle of Long Island. This would prove to be the largest battle of the war in terms of troops and weaponry. The “Father of our country,” General George Washington, must have been hung over on cherry brandy or had the scurvy going on because he zigged instead of zagging and got his butt handed to him by the redcoats on this particular day. I’m pretty sure he righted the ship in the ensuing years, because now he has a city named after him, my British accent is non-existent, and I don’t kneel to any kings or queens when I leave for work in the morning.
Only 51 weeks left and I get to go back is what I keep telling myself. Next year I might even find me an old musket with a bayonet attachment and dress up as an extra in whatever battle is going down. I can’t play dead in a cowboy movie, but I’m sure I can wing it for 20 minutes during a battle.
About it for now, operation “Second Place is the First Loser” is in full swing now. The Cubs are trailing The World Series three games to two, and have to go back to the Cleveland to take two from the hometown tribe. Now off to needle my Cub brethren a little more on Facebook. Cub sphincters are so tight right now area doctors are concerned about the multiple cases of constipation that have been showing up all over the country. Relax, Cub fans, it’s only a baseball game!