It’s no secret I’m getting married in the not so distant future. I held an online lottery, passed out some of the best photoshopped portraits of me at area honky tonks, and even volunteered at a women’s prison (minimum security…I have standards) in the search for true love. Thankfully none of those materialized into anything short term, long term, or even happened at all. I’m happy to report I found the love of my life and this upcoming July I will have a little gold band to remind of the sacred bonds of marriage that I’m about to partake in for the second time.
Or will I have a little gold band? Or for that matter will it be silver or platinum? Maybe it will be cobalt, tungsten carbide, stainless steel, titanium, or ceramic. Not only did I just refresh your memory on the periodic table of elements and modern alloys, I just broadened my wedding ring of choice horizons.
Getting married is kind of a big deal in the silly game of life, it’s only fitting that your left hand’s ring finger has a little style and panache to it. Guys, if you want to overpay for boring at some big box jewelry store so you can say you have a 24-carat gold wedding ring, be my guest. I’m sure at the “snob of the month” club meetings held in a seedy country club in the middle of suburbia this should play well for you. Me, I like to think outside of the box when it comes to finger candy.
You know who else prefers style over boring? Manly Bands, that’s who! I don’t know if Manly Bands hacked my computer or what, but once they learned that I was getting married they went all Abba and asked if I would “Take a Chance on Me” in the wedding ring department. Short answer, “Hell yes,” long answer, these guys are the coolest thing to hit the internet since the last viral video that nobody fact checked for authenticity.
When you are a guy about to get married and visit a website that starts out with:
“Each ring is birthed from a different kind of manliness, wrapped with fire and testosterone and then shipped off with courage and kindness from our impenetrable fortress in Florida”
You know you’ve picked a winner in the ring department for the Man Card Club with a mission statement like that. They told me the online store is mine, and pick what band you would like to let the world know you aren’t available on the female free agent market, and say some kind words about it if you like it.
Just a few of the styles they have to offer, to see the whole inventory of coolness you will have to go visit their website or click here.
Like it? More like I love it! I chose The Conqueror as my band of choice to show any potential vixens I’m off the market. Plus it automatically inflated my ego 20 points. Made from lightweight titanium and from some of the finest koa wood trees (I hear they are big in Hawaii), my future “I’m taken” ring is awesome. Since I’m not married yet, I don’t wear it around like a boss, but in two months I’ll be very proud to display this as my new wife’s leash. I didn’t mean that, women will read this also, it’s not a leash, guys. It’s a statement.
Lightweight titanium is an understatement. I’ve had fingernails that were heavier on my hands! I’ve had a gold band once before and some days it can be quite irritating when you must type on a keyboard all day with a “heavy” hand. Did I mention koa wood? The Conqueror makes me regret ever wearing a gold band in a previous life. Where was this company 15 years ago!
Manly Bands offers more than just wood bands, however if you choose to go the wood route, be warned. Yes, they are water resistant, that doesn’t mean you need to go searching for treasures from some deep-sea wreck in the ocean with it on. On their website, they give specific details about how to take care of your wooden ring. Caught in a pop up rain shower, no problem, showering with it on daily and you won’t be so stylish.
Any ring you buy from them has a hassle free one year warranty, the warranty is void if stupidity is the reason your ring malfunctions. Chipping and cracking, Manly Bands will be more than happy to give you a replacement. Punching a brick wall because you are an idiot and your favorite sports team just lost, well you can take it up with their customer service but I’m sure they are going to tell you that you should root for a new team.
You know what else is darn cool about Manly Bands? They choose a charity of the month for all sales they make. They even take suggestions on charities and you can email them at firstname.lastname@example.org for any cause you deem worthy.
Eat too much gelato at your last Italian family reunion and your finger grew too many sizes after you ordered your ring? You get a 30-day hassle free return policy with Manly Bands. Guys when and not if, but when you are ready to buy your wedding ring from Manly Bands you will have it in a week. Shipping is free, unless your soon to be wife is impatient and wants it sooner, then you will have to pay a little to have it shipped to you. Free shipping is always a good thing in my book. Also, you might want to rethink those nuptials if she is that controlling before you even tie the knot!
Skipah thinks of Manly Bands like the Olympic so they get five rings out of five on my unofficial unscientific grading chart.
Since this review is going to hit the Bachelor Hotline, I should tell future husbands that Skipah has a deal for you. If you see something on Manly Bands that would cause your soon to be wife to swoon, go ahead and buy it. At checkout enter promo code gary15 and you will get 15% off your purchase through the end of September. With that extra 15% you will save, go buy your new bride some flowers and your new marriage will definitely be off to a great start!
You can follow Manly Bands on Facebook, they are like the rest of us and would appreciate any likes, shares, and mentions in the local newspaper.
Skipah’s Realm was compensated with his very own Manly Band to review, the thoughts and opinions or 100% from Mr. Skipah.