Bye, bye March hate to see you leave. Other than seeing Sloane a robust three freaking days this past month it was still a good one. If you wondering, why only three days is because of gutless cowardice and personal vendettas towards me. She gets to stay with seventy-something old grandparents more than with her own dad and his loving home with Miss Madison. That’s a post for another night though I’m in a good mood and I can’t fix stupid. Where was I at…oh yeah…to quote Sammy Sosa “March has been very, very good to me.” I hear Billy in valet at the McClure Hotel & Suites in West Virginia yelling why, why Mr. Skipah!
I’ll tell you why, biggest month ever for me and this website/company. That’s even with being on vacation and not posting for a week! I also got published (pictures and everything to prove it) for the first time in my life, I think my ego finally deflated over that when I saw my checking account didn’t get the boost I was looking for, but a proud moment for me. Hell, even Sloane congratulated me on it and I’m pretty sure the Yahoo Finance page and Time.com money pages run neck and neck with her watching a paint drying documentary. Throw in some opportunities to actually get paid for all my frontier gibberish a couple of times and life is good. Never mind the aforementioned vacation with Miss Madison happened in March, as we had more fun than the law should allow!
Chill out super blogger and let me bask in my own glory, 10,301 is a big number for me!
With all this internet fame going to my head I even designed my own logo! Designed is a stretch but I approved the computer generated image and bought it as my own. Coming soon Skipah’s Realm T-shirts, license plates, and potentially bone china! Never mind, Hammy (fresh off of his rehab stint) just informed of the costs. Business may be booming, but think more your child’s lemon stand kind of revenue and not Exxon’s.
Patent pending! Like it, hate it, don’t care?
Feels kind of nice to actually write dribble instead of recapping my eastern seaboard trip (available for free in online magazine style on Flipboard #selfpromotion), it’s been two weeks since I actually typed out something relevant to Mr. Skipah. What has Mr. Skipah been into you may ask?
Landscaping, Miss Madison heard a rumor from a friend back home that I take this stuff sort of seriously and with the warmer temps lately I’ve begun a total reconstruction of the everything around here in the outdoors department. Me and the home/garden center employees at Lowe’s are going to be getting to know each other on a first name basis I have a feeling in the upcoming weeks. When I’m 60 I will be that crotchety yard bastard, for now I will just stay calm and remind the turtle man to play somewhere else. I excel at nothing, but the kitchen and lawn care are my personal dojos and I expect nothing more than excellence when you enter that arena!
Got to see how a city of 12,000 with no public fire department responds to an emergency. A small structure fire three doors down from our abode quickly turned into a real-life Chinese fire drill. The chief at the station must throw out some sort of Batman signal (or text/call) to the area volunteer firefighters and they show up in droves and go all Superman changing from pedestrian clothes to fireman gear in a flash. Two superheroes in one paragraph, chalk that up to things I never envisioned I would ever type! I guess a newspaper caught on fire because we never smelled or saw the first hint of smoke.
With expectations ranking with a hatchet job vasectomy or food poisoning, I tried out the new local sushi joint. As usual, I was dead wrong and this will be a new go to venue for me. Good sushi at Walmart pricing now if I could just get Sloane or Miss Madison to partake in everything glorious that is known as sushi! Sammy has been quiet of late, but I did make all of us some shish kabobs on the grill for dinner last weekend.
About it, for now, everything is fine and dandy in the Skipahsphere these days. Miss Madison still thinks I’m kind of cool, Sally Hemings jokes aside. Sloane is still kicking butt and taking names when she isn’t with me, at least that is what her teachers tell me via email. God forbid anyone else would communicate with me on my only child. Now I’m off to look for more loopholes in Indiana law! Stay tuned potential (I stress potential) big news coming up in the near future!