Mind Warp!


Little calmer tonight, my baby is back at the castle, and the first words out of her mouth other than “Hurry up Dad I got to pee” was “HAMMMMMMYYYYYY!!!!!!”, they had a brutal spy vs. spy stare off before he relented and went back to his little house on the third floor.  She opted not to play with him tonight though she thought he looked tired.  He probably was a little whipped he and I were whooping it up that the Reds were actually scoring run and winning.  He secretly sent me a not to let him know when the blonde bomber goes to bed so he can grab his big fat number one foam finger and his Pete Rose signed mini bat he somehow smuggled into the house.  I think Hammy has connections across the river at the Louisville Slugger Museum but I haven’t been able to confirm this.

I have confirmed without a shadow of a doubt Floyd County is losing a native resident sooner rather than later (Good riddance special board meeting was being called to pull your FC card anyway), I’ve also confirmed today that down yonder (that’s Kane-Tucky y’all) that Mr. Wonderful isn’t quite out of his legal troubles either.  Regular Hatfield and McCoy’s down there, personally I find it hilarious.  Other news worthy items today that I’ve learned.  Forget any unkind words I might have had for my ex-in-laws I sputtered last night.  An old family friend notified me today that secretly they are not very happy with their daughter and are hoping like hell she gets to stay with me.  How cool is that?  I notified the friend that her parents could always kick her out and make this much easier, but as she said you and I both know they won’t do that.  After learning of this news earlier today to say I was grinning ear to ear would be an understatement.  Karma really is a bitch!

Not only did I have a great day, so did Sloane!  Softball she kicked butt, she hit the hardest ball of her life and eventually scored.  Her team got back to their winning ways with a 10-2 butt kicking as I think all the girls got on base at least once.  Hell even her mother and I were friendly umm amicable.  I really think once Sloane gets a little confidence in her and grows a little older she might actually be competitive at it.  Hopefully I’m not planning weekends around travel ball in the couple of years, but if that is the case I’ll do it and bitch and moan like every other parent.  Besides a ton of the tournaments are held in Elizabethtown, KY and every probably remembers how fond of that area I am!



(Watching her excel at softball is awesome!)

Not all is milk and honey though, I finally had some daddy daughter time with Sloane and getting her to bed was a “challenge”.   To her mother all I can say is “Thanks”, she is now worried sick that she won’t see me anymore if she has to move to Kentucky.  I think it finally clicked in her head that she won’t have both sets of grandparents around whenever she wants to see them, won’t have daddy five minutes away, and will no longer get to attend school with her friends.  Also since Mr. Wonderful likes to chew his tobacco and spit in a cup/can/bottle she finds this disgusting.  Why the ex would expose her to that is beyond me, but I don’t get to choose that for her.  She’s likes Mr. Wonderful but finds that disgusting and doesn’t want to live in a house with brown spit.

I assured her I would sell what remaining organs I have that are valuable and rob Wall Street if I need to in order to keep her in my life.  It must have worked because she went straight to sleep.  Yeah a child doesn’t need their father in their life (said no one ever), I’d go on a rant about the batshit crazy ex but it’s pointless.  Mr. Wonderful could always move up here I informed her, “No mommy says he has to drive to Lexington every day.”  Guess what loyal reader it is about as far from here to Lexington, KY as it where he lives now.  It’s not that much further believe me.

About it for tonight, going to catch some Reds baseball with Hammy and start sticking my voo doo doll with needles.  It’s sickening what is happening to my daughter mentally and I’m powerless to stop it right now.

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  1. Pingback: Party Under the Big Top 15 | Sunshine Dad

  2. He spits out his dip? Real men swallow.

    Terrible jokes aside, this breaks my heart man. I hate hearing about her being tormented if she’ll ever see you again. That’s not something a kid should have to be worried about 🙁 I’m glad your promise to sell your organs put her mind at rest!

  3. What an a-hole, well actually, both your ex and Mr. Wonderful.
    Sloan is adorable though, and thats what matters. I hope they don’t move to Kentucky. Maybe you could liaise with her parents?

  4. Ugh. Chewing tobacco is beyond gross. Poor Sloane.

  5. I think Sloane and her team just let the other players win last game as a strategy to make this team let their guard down. Way to go Sloane!

    Seriously, the guy dips? I think it’s time to find a name other than Mr. Wonderful. I’m sure you knew this a looonnnggg time ago though.

    I hate knowing a good dad has to see his precious girl go throw this crap, I can’t tell you sorry enough. You’ve probably heard it countless times before, but just keep a smile on your face and try to always be positive in front of her. Actions speak lo…well, you know.

  6. Tell Sloane congrats on the awesome play! She is such a very cool kid 🙂 On the rest- brown spit- YUCK!!!!!!!

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