To quote the recently retired Brent Musburger, “We are live,” at the Skipah’s Realm corporate office in mundane Madison, Indiana. It’s a Super Bowl extravaganza going on here of healthy snacks, tons of love, and me suddenly remembering how much I love birds of prey. That’s right, the Skipah is all in at Vegas on the Falcons plus the points! Hopefully, I double Sloane’s college fund, if not I’m going to have some explaining to do.
Calm down New Englander, I hail from the mighty Hoosier state and have seen our beloved Indianapolis Colts take more curb stompings at the hands of the Patriots in the past 15 years than I care to admit. Since I thought I would put the laptop away until I got out to sunny San Diego, the gravitational pull of my keyboard and the urge to diagnose the pop culture spectacular of the year was too much for me to bear. Diet Dr. Pepper is the quaff of choice unless this game gets out of hand, then it might be switched up to some of the finest bourbon I was able to smuggle out of Kentucky!
It’s 6:00 p.m. and Miss Madison and I are rubbing elbows and bopping butts, get your mind out of the gutter friends, you prepare six dishes in an hour without running into someone else. My trusty steed Karma is eating healthier than usual and in an unrelated note, our kitchen floor has turned into one giant canine salad. The chicken and turkey population of southern Indiana has taken a major blow in the inventory department at area grocery stores. Mouth-watering turkey wraps, homemade sweet potato & carrot tots, turkey stuffed mini peppers, low-cal spinach dip, and a few other things are on the menus for us tonight. I voted for hot wings and loaded potato skins, but she thought I should eat a little healthier after she watched me manhandle 23 ounces of steak the previous night.
Apologies to all the vegans of the world!
Phone chargers aren’t edible, I found that one out the hard way!
For you non-sports folks, other than the Atlanta Braves winning the World Series in 1996, the only thing Atlanta has ever won is the crime statistics Olympics. Hopefully, with some late rooting interests from Skipah their luck will change this year.
First up is Luke Bryan. I don’t know much about him other than he’s really into ‘Huntin’, ‘Fishin’, and ‘Lovin’ every day. The only thing you need to worry about is two minutes and nine seconds is key!
If that didn’t go over 2:09, the world must have stopped! Hold on my cell phone is going off from my Vegas contacts. 2:04! No damn way that went 2:04, I put together an 850 piece puzzle while watching it.
Good to see former President Bush still among us, I’m convinced he and former President Carter have a side bet on who can live the longest. Those two are like modern day Lazarus’!
To the best of my knowledge, there has never been a football player that played his college ball at Indiana University and scored in the Super Bowl. I’m talking to you Tevin Coleman! Make our state proud, God knows the basketball team isn’t!
The first round of commercials, and let’s go ahead and give Google even more access to our life. Google Home will more than likely not be visiting my “home” anytime soon. Of course, at this point I think the only thing Google doesn’t know about me is what my underwear size is.
All those so-called experts were calling for this game to have a ton of points scored, we are at 0-0 with five minutes left in the first quarter. A better question though is how in the hell does Mobile Strike have a budget to run a Super Bowl ad? I thought they blew their advertising budget on ads for Words with Friends and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Who plays Mobil Strike anyway, not anybody I know!
They still make Busch Beer? I thought everybody quit drinking that stuff after they get out of high school? Except my high school, nobody drank beer because it was illegal at that age. A good weekend bender for us consisted of lemon lime Gatorade shots and passing out bibles.
No score after one quarter, and now Skipah must clean up this super-sized mess before he gets punted himself by Miss Madison. We will be back before Lady Gaga takes the stage. I’m ruling nothing out with her. Live birth on national T.V., full blown exorcism, President Trump voodoo doll ceremonies, there is nothing out of reach with her.
Devonta Freeman at 9-1 has just turned your $50.00 dollar investment into $450.00 if you had him for the first score of the Super Bowl. That’s a solid return on your investment, I took the homer bet of Tevin Coleman, that would be a bad return on investment. In other news, Birds of Prey seven, the Tom Brady apologists 0.
For the record, Miss Madison is an ardent fan of Bai. Maybe I can work something out with Justin Timberlake to deliver some personally to her. Will that score me boyfriend points or do I not let risk the chance of JT’s charm causing me to end up single? She does love her Bai products though, decisions, decisions.
The last time a group of men associated with Atlanta marched like that it was coincidentally enough General William Tecumseh Sherman marching through Atlanta in the Civil War. Dirty Birds 14-England of the New 0. Colts fans are smiling all over the country, if there are any outside of Indiana, speak up.
Tom Terrific (apologies to Tom Seaver) forgot that you aren’t supposed to throw it to the team in red jerseys. It’s 21-0 2:12 to go in the second quarter. Not sure if I’m more shocked by this or the fact my Colts brought back Chuck Pagano to be our coach.
Flash poll: Who goes overboard more? The Fast and the Furious movie series on CGI or my internal linking? It’s a question that needs to be asked.
It’s Gaga time! Not since Katy Perry’s performance two years ago, (albeit different reasons) have I looked forward to a halftime show. Birds that like to hunt rabbits in the open 21, that other team from Boston 3 at the half.
I’m proud of Lady Gaga, solid and I mean solid performance, and she behaved. I was thoroughly entertained and she didn’t go political. I think 80% of the world is sick of politics these days! Played her hits, was flashy doing it, and if that performance pissed you off, then you would complain about 70-degree weather in January because it wasn’t 75.
By the way, I’m still not feeling great about the Falcons winning this thing, better than I was two hours ago, but still don’t rule out this game tightening up.
If you want to see what all Mr. Clean and I have in common, look no further than their Super Bowl commercial. I was approached to be the virtual Mr. Clean in that commercial. I had to pass though because I was too busy writing my name in cursive amongst the dust bunnies.
What happened to LeGarrette Blount? Three years ago, against the Colts in the AFC Championship game, he ran for close to 12 miles. Yes, “Deflategate” is what was remembered from that rainy night in Foxboro, but Tom Brady could have been passing the ball around like he was playing Madden Football and it would haven’t mattered due to under inflated footballs.
Hoosiers: Football style! Tevin Coleman representing the Hoosier State! Since IU football history consists of the 1968 Rose Bowl loss and Anthony Thompson being runner-up for the Heisman we cling to whatever we can. 28-3 and we are on the verge of “The South Shall Rise Again!”
Patriots score on a methodical drive, then the kicker tries to knock down the goal post on the extra point attempt. 28-9 good guys with two minutes left in the third quarter. I’m silently whistling Dixie and hoping my Atlanta friends behave themselves if this plays out.
Headed to the fourth quarter and the “Legend of Brady” either be cemented or Matt Ryan jerseys are going to be the number one selling article of clothing this week. We are now 28-12 on the losing side for Team Samuel Adams. By the way, Morgan Freeman would take a paycheck from ISIS at this point of his career. Thankfully I got a hell of a deal from United recently on my upcoming flight out west or I would look into Turkish Airlines.
Spuds Mackenzie for the win! I’m a child of the 80s, being reminded of Spuds just makes my heart melt a little bit. Favorite commercial of the night so far and purely for the nostalgia value.
To quote the retired Keith Jackson, fumble…. Pats recover and go march in for six and the two-point conversion. 28-20 Falcons, but this one isn’t over yet by a long shot.
I think the coaching staff for Atlanta needs to be investigated for shaving points or must prove on national TV they have an IQ over 25. I’m currently thinking of how to break it to Sloane that Yale is going to be out of the question but there is the community college route.
Don’t worry, Falcon fans, I’ve seen this dog and pony show many times as a Colts fan. You’re screwed. First Super Bowl to go into overtime, of course, it involves your team against the Pats. Brady is going to march them down the field and score a TD.
I hate them worse than I hate a being eaten alive by red ants, but I have to respect them. Congrats Pats fan on another Super Bowl win. Tom Brady is the man just don’t quote me on that I don’t want my Hoosier membership card up for review!
About it for tonight, I promise this is the last you will hear from me until I get back from San Diego. Miss Madison and some great guest bloggers have the reins from here on out until I get home next Monday.