Its officially Derby week in my little nugget of the world. World leaders could be assassinated and the local media is going to give you the split times of the contending horses before covering anything newsworthy. Horses, hats, and the oh so unpredictable weather will be all you hear about around here. I grew up with it, despised it for a while, and now I absolutely love it. Unless Katy Perry gives me a call this week my Saturday will be spent at the biggest and baddest Derby party man has ever seen. Hell this party is so cool Katy Perry would probably want to be my date to it. That’ll get some heads turning. As always it depends on the weather for a good Derby party. Anything from snow to sub tropic weather is possible a week from now. Preliminary reports are showing mid 70s and no rain, but as any longtime reader has learned. Weather predicting in this area is about as dependable as a Ford Edsel.
You know who had a better weekend than me! Hammy that’s who, the blonde bomber and I have done nothing but GO, GO, GO for three days now. He even hung a sign up today that said “I just want to be loved”, we just ignored him we had another day to tackle and tackle we did. No medieval torture for him this week, but I did leave the Reds game for him to watch in another cruel and unusual form of torture. Because the Reds suck! Four and zero has turned into eight wins and ten losses. When does football and college basketball start again?
Our day started out with an ingredient run for some delicious brownie cupcakes for the party later, only instead of sticking with the plan I got cute and wanted to make a bundt brownie cake with white chocolate icing. I’ve done it before and though piece of cake (no pun intended), everything was magical up until it came time to “flip” the cake. The top of the cake didn’t get the memo and decided to remain in the mold. So for lunch today Sloane and I had brownie chunks, and I uncharacteristically showed up at a party without a dessert. Also any single dad reading this with a child Sloane’s age I’ve got one word for you “smartphone”, I don’t think I could get her a team of Shetland ponies and a night in Cinderella’s palace and make her any happier. She likes to randomly text grandma and her dad for no other reason than she can. I’ve already had to explain to her what device memory is. Needless to say I hit a winner with it. Again I remind over protective parent who thinks it’s too early for her to have a smartphone. I don’t have her all the time, her mother uses our conversations against me in court, and I CONTROL all content on the phone. So take a chill pill.
After the deserting fail, I didn’t have time to whip up something else because it was time to go to see all of her classmates take their first communion. We donned our Sunday bests and walked the three blocks to church. Enlightening conversation as usual along the way. Daddy “When are you getting married again like mommy” ummmm Sloane I’ll try to make it a least a year past divorce o.k. “Daddy will I be able to take communion next year?” That’s the plan sweetheart. Daddy “Does this dress make my butt look fat” o.k. I made that one up but I swear I’m talking to an adult anymore with her. Her tender little mind is always searching for an answer in her own little manipulative way. By the time we got to the church I was needing a little divine intervention myself to keep pulling answers out of ass from all of her questions.
The ceremony itself was beautiful, the girls all dressed up in white like they were junior brides, and the boys spiffed up like the biggest pack of stud muffins alive in their coat and ties. This was the first time I had been to a Catholic mass in at least 18 years so I knew this time that the padded bar at my feet wasn’t a foot rest unlike last time when I was at a full blown Catholic wedding! (Trust me I’m not the first one at that age to make that mistake!) After the ceremony all of Sloane’s friends and parents were so happy to see that she got to attend, even her teacher commended me for bringing her. She posed for pictures with many of her classmates and had the time of her life.
From there it was time to go to a classmate’s first Communion party and that consisted of two hours of bouncy house with brief intermissions to catch a drink or grab a bite to eat. In the mean time I caught up with a very dear old friend of mine parents and other family that I have known since I was a little boy. It was great to see all of them and relive the war stories of my divorce and tell old stories of the crazy antics high school boys do. Luckily Sloane wasn’t around for any of that, but we both had a great time but our day wasn’t quite complete.
We had flowers to plant is why, we had made a journey to the nursery this weekend also to get our green thumb itch taken care of. I used to keep a pretty bitchin yard for Sloane and the ex and our horticulture bill would get into the triple digits some years. Now I’m a renter and don’t get the freedom to just create a flower bed on a whim, but Sloane has been chomping at the bit to get flowers so that is what we did. At least now I get to buy what makes my daughter happy and not that other person. Much more rewarding for sure. She admired her work for a bit and then remember she needed to text grandma something else.
All in all a weekend to remember for she and I, unfortunately as I’ve mentioned it will be the last one until the second weekend in June. She’s got her own phone now though and has taken to it like a 15 year old on Instagram (she does not have an account don’t worry old biddy), nope it’s games, selfies, and goofy texts with every emoticon Android has to offer. The Cold War writes another chapter tomorrow as we have a softball game to attend.
In other news an online parenting site has asked me to write an article on being a single dad, who knew I had it in me? They asked me a couple of days ago if I would like to be a guest writer for a piece in May. To say I’m humbled would be an understatement. Also to say I’ve fully wrapped my head around being a single dad that I could relate to the masses I’m a little nervous about. I’m not even a year into being a single dad and learn daily what a chore it is to “coparent”, I told them though I was honored and would give it my best shot.
About it for tonight, going to work on my new ploy to lure Katy Perry into Skipah’s world and thank all of the parents today for making Sloane and I feel so welcome at church today. Believe me it meant as much to me, probably more, than it did to Sloane. I’m trying!