A Party in the U.S.A.!

Skipah’s PSA for the day, click on this link and please contribute five bucks, if enough of you contribute Mr. Anti-Walmart has promised to volunteer as the greeter for a shift.  That’s right Skipah is back in the fundraising business for Sloane and the good folks at St. Jude’s Research Hospital.  Sloane is gobbling up math and is on a career arc path like Danica McKellar at her tender age of nine.  The Math-A-Thon is running for two weeks, so roll up that spare change and go contribute for a good cause.  Hell, this fundraiser almost didn’t happen, but who wants to hear about that?  Oh, you do, well let me pontificate for a second.

In case you don’t know the heir to all things Skipah is my little darling daughter Sloane, during school I see her about every two weeks.  Every two weeks we rewrite the rules of fun, and this weekend was no different.  First, though it was brought to my attention that her mother never signed her up for a St. Jude fundraiser that her school was participating in.  Sloane was adamant that she reminded her NUMEROUS times, and was pissed off that she wasn’t going to be allowed to help kick some childhood cancer ass in her favorite subject in school.  I inquired about the Math-A-Thon and per our usual communication, all I got was crickets.  Solid co-parenting, I know, so I sprang into Super Dad action.  Had a cape on and everything!

Dropped a note on Facebook, emailed a teacher, and flexed some dad ninja tactics online and Sloane is now actively participating in this great fundraiser.  Also, major props to Sloane’s fourth-grade teacher for responding to me on the weekend, Miss Madison is a teacher also so I know how valuable weekend time is.  A win for divorced dads all over the world…. right?  Except that evening, Sloane got her ass ripped by her mom on the phone for even telling me about it.  Witnessed it first hand, Sloane’s response “My mom can be a real jerk!”  As of this post, she is halfway to her goal of embarrassing her dad with live video of him being engulfed in silly string, and well on her way to raising enough for me to donate some time to the Walton mafia.

Enough negativity though, I’m like sunshine on a cloudy day at the moment?  New medication you may be wondering?  I did take some anti-inflammatory meds after my head became twice its size.  No allergic reactions, just another great weekend with Sloane!

The junior Miss Madison and her mother the elder Madison were back on the road to the Midwestern jewel known better as ‘Naptown to have some mother daughter time.  It wasn’t some sabbatical retreat to learn snake handling or anything, more like a weekend jam session on Friday night with the Lumineers singing about some chick named Ophelia, then a side of Ariana Grande the next night.  That left Sloane and me unsupervised to do what we do best– “Have Fun.”

Supposedly all this is for Miss Madison Jr.’s bedroom renovation, either way, Indianapolis retail had a good weekend also.

It appeared they had plenty of fun without us.

Not since the Camp David Peace Accords had there been more behind the scenes negotiations than last Friday’s pick up, and much like any peace accord between Israel and its neighbors, this one would prove fruitless also.  Offer a break on drive time, counter offer of six Scud missiles fired at me and a rogue IED for good measure.  Eventually though, Sloane was in my care and it was off for all things chips and salsa at the local Mexican eatery.  I tried to inquire with the head chef about some ultra cool fish taco ideas I learned while in San Diego last month, but he told this gringo to get out of his kitchen and hurled a cleaver at me for good measure.

I allowed her to play with her food this one instance!

Saturday was kind of a surreal day, I really can’t remember the last time Sloane and I didn’t have our Madison gang with us.  Since old man winter suddenly woke up from his coma last weekend, outdoor activity was pretty much off limits since neither of us have lineage that traces back to Eskimos.  That meant we were going to hit the seedy underground entertainment district of Madison, Indiana.  Since Sloane is too young to be yelling seven come eleven (although learning odds and percentages would greatly enhance her math career), and I didn’t want to be featured in Degenerate Dad Digest, we opted for a more kid friendly environment.

In honor of St. Patrick’s Day I thought I would remind everyone I’m Irish :).

Enter Kangaroos, for a whopping six bucks you can take your kid to all things bouncy house.  I never saw any live kangaroos there, but I did see a boatload of kids (mine included) bouncing around like them.  At first glance, I made sure I had my health insurance card handy because I was expecting a broken bone before we left.  Thankfully, Sloane has the grace of a wounded gazelle and there were no unplanned trips to the local hospital.  Playing hide and seek with your kid in an area filled with zombie creatures that must have hit their sugar dealer up before they visited was quite the experience.

I tried to get a gambling pool going with the other parents on whose kid would cry first, but I had no takers.  All I can say is the indoor trampoline is junior mortal combat!  I saw more young boys crawl out of there begging for mommy with a bloody lip and bruised ego.  Out of the corner of my eye, I could have sworn I saw Sloane performing her own Aaron Rodgers “Discount Double Check” championship belt pose.  When I inquired if she was in there kicking butt and taking names…she just informed me that Girlz Rule…Boyz Drool!  I may need to make sure she channels this aggression on other things like academics.  We had a blast, other than I was forced to watch a freaking U.K. basketball game since apparently there wasn’t a Law and Order rerun on.

A memorable day for six bucks, it doesn’t get any better than that!

Saturday was not only surreal, it only made me more determined than ever to attempt to win custody of her.  We had a Saturday night for the ages!  We had our own little pizza party, deep conversation, and a solemn vow to her that I would do all I could to extradite her from her current surroundings.  After 26 Shirley Temples, Sloane was feeling rather jubilant and had her own impromptu karaoke sessions going on.


The girls returned home Sunday, the Turtle Man returned from his “guys” weekend with his dad, and since Sloane didn’t have school Monday, it was family feast night!  No, there wasn’t any holiday involved Monday, just an “off” day because her school district had a planned snow day booked and it just hasn’t snowed enough in these parts to cancel school.  I’ll take the extra night 365 days a year, but I am still puzzled they had the day off.  It snowed here Monday, granted in Buffalo this would considered nothing more than “happy hour,” but frozen water shaded in white did hit the ground here.

Not cool Mother Nature, it is March dammit!

I think the French would approve of our breakfast choice!

About it for now, the Math-A-Thon just got another donation and I’m now going to have to start thinking about emailing the Walmart uniform company for my own special apron.  Wait a minute, now I’m getting notified of another contribution , I better start researching if silly string is edible!  At this rate Sloane is going to raise enough money to sponsor her own St. Jude scholarship!

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  1. Impressive super-dad work, but I’m not buying that you were caped unless I see footage!

    I wish my school had given us snow days without snow just because they’d planned for one! My school was usually the school open in actual snow when every other school in the area was shut!

  2. So amazed by your energy!! YOu make the absolute best out of your very little time with your girl. That must mean the world!!!

  3. I need to eat breakfast with you. Right this minute! Honestly Gary, I don’t know how you find the time for half of what you manage in aday!

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  5. I don’t know what the anti Walmart thing is. I will ask Mr Google later.

    Blogger’s Pit Stop

  6. Glad my social media holiday concluded in time to donate to Sloane’s fundraiser. Very proud of her desire to #give! And I love your seermingly but not really random stream of consciousness Gary. You never cease to entertain 😄

  7. Okay, my huge sum of free cash (not much, sorry) has been sent towards this cause. Hope it helps Sloane keep on rockin’ more than she already does!

    By the way, I think trampolines are worth the risk, but yeah, some of those kids are natural kamikazes!

  8. Good thing you were just watching instead of participating on the trampolines. I know someone who was out of work 4 months after having heel surgery because she broke it on the metal part of the trampolines at one of these parks. Not a pretty sight at all.

  9. Face it, when your daughter sets her mind on a goal, no one better get in her way! Warning, Walmart does not treat the handicapped people of the world well, so no crutches or wheelchairs get you any sympathy there even if you DO NOT WANT TO BE USING THE ASSISTIVE DEVICES!!

    Needless to say, I am as anti Walmart as you are even though my husband is an assistant manager there. I hate his chosen career, but what can I do?

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