Apologize in advance on the photography, taking pictures directly off the laptop doesn’t work to well.
By the way that’s wife number five just to clear things up. Also I was never told by a judge to shut this blog down, either she is mis-informed or an idiot. Loving step-dads at least speak to there own biological children more often than January 2015. Despicable liar is a rather strong word, coming from someone who I think this has more skeletons in the closet than Arlington cemetary. If lowering standards is really chafing her then all I can say is wow, message me if you want details I’m not lowering my standards for a tax cheat and many other shenanigans of “abusing” the system. Also I will stand behind anything I’ve ever said on this blog, prove me wrong when it comes to my daughter. You can’t! Also I was worth ENOUGH of her time that she was on my blog today at least twice that I know of.
First though I need to determine if this is who I think it is.
There is no frigging way there are two Risa K. Woods in this world. The one I know lives in south Florida. We better get to investigating this stuff because I don’t want all the denizens of Skipah’s virtual island to be subjected to this hate mongering and spewing. I got Hammy off of the vodka long enough to help me out as I figured his KGB training was more than sufficient along with my Google ninja skills we make sure this wasn’t a case of mistaken identity.
“A real mission, research, recon, and digital espionage, I can’t drink vodka though? Screw it let’s get to work put on a pot of coffee and let’s go!”
First off I thought I had better check where in the world all my loyal readers had been chiming in from. Then I noticed an IP address from Vero Beach, Florida. Hmmm that’s not very far from the last known whereabouts of the ex sister-in-law. Spent quite a long time on there also, odd, I thought. Hammy is chirping it’s her, it’s her! I knew you couldn’t trust her! Hold on Hammy let’s make double sure and check the time stamps. I know she is certifiably crazy with papers and such, but lets double check everything and make sure there isn’t two people in Vero Beach, Florida vincinity that are “Cray Cray” (that’s what the cool kids say now), after all Hammy it is Florida and you never know what in the hell you are going to come across. Alligators sleep with catfish in those parts it is the nuttzo capital of the U.S.
Wow 46 minutes on my site, my advertisers are going to frigging love that kind of engagement! Ten pages in one session, my stats yesterday went bananas! With that kind of engagement I might be get to a review of a Dodge Ram or a vacation package. This reader is awesome! Oh wait it’s really starting to look like this is my former sister-in-law. Let me check the Google Analytics time stamp just to make sure I don’t have a new number one fan!
Well poop it is my former sister-in-law, plus she must really miss me as she was on my site today twice. Sometime after nine a.m. and noon. Let me hone in on that a little bit.
Completely matches from last night! Get a life girl, is your marriage still as miserable as I remember you complaining about it all the time? Just for shits and giggles I ran a few more tests.
Holy smokes my SEO must be working I must know what I’m doing. She found my site via organic search! Cue to Hammy and I high fiving, I’ve let him go back to vodka instead of coffee now, he was getting cranky, damn Russians!
That must be a Android Tablet with a 10.1 inch screen and a monitor around 14 inches standard laptop size.
Well, like I used to tell her all the time, “I told you I was right!”
Never heard of that ISP (Internet service provider Kentuckian), but I don’t live in Florida so I’m guessing something out of Miami, or an abbreviation for Mia Hamm Adidas Loves College Basketball, either way their both Greek to me.
Only one way to solve this problem as I don’t want my readers to have to put up with such shenanigans. Time to swat this piss ant away. I get asked from other bloggers who aren’t self hosted what are the advantages to self hosting. There are a few, one is I have access to the full scope of Google Analytics. Google is pure frigging evil, and a data mining machine as I just demonstrated. You know what else is great about owning your own site, the plethora of WordPress plug-ins. Lionscripts is an especially good one for peasants like this one in Vero Beach, Florida idiot who has been miserable in life for way to long. You know you can do with Lionscripts?
To quote David Spade from an early 1990s Saturday Night Live skit “Bye Bye”, so yes Risa K. Woods was in fact my former sister-in-law and not an impostor, her IP address joined the former wife’s IP address on the ban list. You log into a site I own I can publish your IP. Fear not loyal reader all of you I have no idea where you come from or even care, these two particular IP addresses though I take great pleasure in blocking. If you leave me a dumbass comment or use my blog against me in court though you get the full Liam Neasson from me and my “Special set of skills.” To quote Michael Corleone “Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer”, since that is a top five movie of all time in the Skipah’s Realm theater you are damn skippy (non pun intended) I’m following that advice!