Roller Coaster!

Weather, cold!  Outlook, colder.  Mood level, I hate winter!  That sums up tonight’s weather report.  I frigging hate winter, especially these long spells when the sun never comes out and the snow and ice never go away.  Just puts the whole area in a gigantic grumpy mood, with it being so close to spring and temps running 20-30 degrees below normal it gets old fast.

Something dawned on me today while dreaming of long kisses with Katy Perry and warm weather!  I’m divorced from the biggest chicken shit in amusement park history!  I just made this rule #1 in “going out with Gary,” unless you are Katy Perry, if you don’t like thrill rides don’t even inquire.

You know how many years I didn’t get to enjoy an amusement park ride that was “thrilling” or went to “fast” by myself?  I’m talking about anything from the county fair to some big name “chain” park.  More times than I care to count!  Honeymoon at Disney the ex, walked out of a roller coaster in tears because she was too scared to ride it.  The woman was a complete chicken shit when it came to thrill rides.  I was married 13 years how many trips did we make to an amusement park?  Two trips to Disney (not exactly a thrill seeker’s delight), and two trips to Holiday World with Sloane, granted the Holiday World trips we were plus one so somebody had to stay with the child but the ex, wasn’t riding them anytime soon.

I bring this up because Sloane is counting down the days until she reaches the magic 48 inches to make the height requirement.  She even brought it up yesterday; with a mini growth spurt (and the way she eats these days don’t rule it out) she will make the minimum height this summer.  Hopefully I can take her to King’s Island in Cincinnati this summer because they have steel roller coasters, if not I’ll take her to Holiday World and she can learn about neck braces, traction, and Advil from riding wooden roller coasters. Sloane has already turned into a mini thrill seeker, she LOVES the ginormous swing ride at Holiday World (who do you think had to ride it with her), and can’t wait to ride the faster swings when she is tall enough.  She is my girl!  A bonus at Holiday World is FREE DRINKS, and they have Diet Dr. Pepper! I will ride any roller coaster known to man, I’ve skydived and bungee jumped, if I can start her out at an early age not to be a “wuss” on these things than mission accomplished as dad!  FYI, better odds of being in a serious accident than getting hurt at an amusement park ride.

I can’t wait until she hits the magic number of 48 inches; this is the same girl last summer that talked me out of going to the zoo so she could ride the Ferris wheel at Kentucky Kingdom after seeing it on the way.  I only agreed because this was two weeks after I separated, a 40 dollar day turned into a 100 dollar day.  The shit we do for our kids!  I wouldn’t have changed that day for the world though.  I wasn’t there mentally but my little thrill seeker was born!  We rode the Ferris wheel many times and she kept explaining to me how she couldn’t wait to ride a roller coaster with me!  I hope she survives her first roller coaster ride and then looks at me and says, “Dad can we do that again!”  I’ll stand in the longest line on the busiest day to fulfill her request.  It’s been way too long since I got to enjoy riding a roller coaster or any other “thrill” ride and if I can do it with Sloane then AWESOME!






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  1. I went to Cedar Point 20 years ago that is the Cooperstown of coasters. Luckily I don’t live far from Kings Island it’s not to shabby itself. Wooden ones are great also, but they sure do beat the hell out of you. Have a great weekend yourself!

  2. I also love a great roller coaster! I have been to Kings Island once and Cedar Point a couple times. Some of these crazy new steel coasters are incredible but I also love the old fashioned wooden coaster. Have a great weekend!

  3. I’m so over the cold here! I’m sure you all are going bonkers down there, I’d kill for 30-40 degrees right now! I can’t wait until she hits four feet tall, she’s chomping at the bit to ride a roller coaster. As always thanks for reading!

  4. Right on, roller coaster liking should definitely be in all marriage agreements. Unless two chicken shits are getting married, then it probably won’t matter.

    Anyway, hope Sloane makes that magic 48 inches soon so you guys can go rule the roller coaster world. I can’t wait to do the same with Avery, but guess I have a while. Until then I’ll just throw her around to get her “used” to the feeling.

    Oh yeah, I hate the cold too! I’ll happily drench my clothes in sweat over shivering with goosebumps the size of mountains any day!

  5. No better partner than Sloane for this! She rocks!

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