Saving My Daughter

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Editor’s note that picture is a few years old but I love it!

Been a couple of rough days in Skipah land, bad enough that Hammy was offering up some of his homemade potato vodka hooch that I found out he had stashed in a secret compartment in his cage.  He even offered to dance at my next wedding (I gave him the ex’s phone number instead), went so far as to send a wire back to Moscow to call for reinforcements.  I informed him “I got this” just going to have to retool my mind again and get through this month before more serious damage is done.  Add southern Indiana and the rodent KGB that I have the full support of now in the battle of my life.  In a land of right and wrong will common sense prevail?  Or does lust/love trump the well-being of a seven year old child?  I don’t get to make that decision I can only do my part being a loving father no matter what the circumstances are.

What has me so melancholy?  The absolute complete and total bullshit going on when Sloane isn’t with me.  I’ll word this as carefully as possible but my daughter has become a rebel zombie.  Sunday before bedtime she didn’t really want to talk to me.  Softball last night when I approached her before she batted she tried to tap me on the chin with the bat and said “I hate you”.  I know she doesn’t really hate me, but I don’t get to raise her very much right now and she isn’t going to talk to me like a fourteen year old girl who just got her IPhone 38E (think future), I completely blame her mother for this shit.  When I said something to her mother she just smirked and giggled and told me she told her she said she hated her the night before.  What in the hell she’s seven not seventeen.  It’s not like I caught her making out with some nappy headed greaser (no that would be her mother) in the Wal-Mart parking lot.  This was at the Little League Park in front of her coach and teammates.

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(They finally lost there first game last night)

I took it in stride and her mom “somewhat” got on her at the park.  Snicker, snicker my child is going to be raised to be respectful to BOTH her parents she can figure out the flipping moron her other parent is in due time.  This is unacceptable, unacceptable, unacceptable do I get to do what any concerned father would do and jump her mother’s ass for worrying about picking out furniture, planning weddings, and trying on wedding bands?  Well of course I don’t get to it’s the beauty of divorce.  I’m still paying for self-inflicted mistakes from learning of divorce almost a year ago.

 

Speaking of divorce, I’m so far past that it looks like a gnat on a moose’s ass from 100 miles away to me.  HOWEVER, I’m not going to roll over anymore when I talk to my daughter and I’m getting 100% of the blame for the divorce.  I’m done with it, any ex-in-laws that want to keep flaming that fire let me remind you she loves her grandparents and aunt just as much and really let’s not throw stones when we live in glass houses.  I do work at rock quarry in case anybody forgot.  I’ve got plenty of more stones to throw than anybody else in this fight.  Can’t really blame the ex-in-laws they only believe the shit the true matriarch in that house says.  The one that thinks she holds all the cards.

Being the ever concerned father I was and for some mythical reason I wasn’t just swamped at work today I decided to take the short drive to school to enjoy some lunch with Sloane.  As usual she came running at me at full speed and jumped in my arms.  Pretended like Monday night never happened.  When I asked her where she watched the Derby (she used to love Derby day) she informed me she didn’t want to watch it because she was out with the other two shopping for furniture, and may even be getting a bed with a slide on it.  Oh boy, how about a bed now not a dilapidated smelly couch.  Of course I took the super extreme high road on this one also.  It was all about the new house and more than likely she is living with mommy full time because my house doesn’t have a basement.  I’m sure she thought of that one all on her own!  Keep up the indoctrination and bad mouthing of me everybody else.  I’ve played nice and I’ve done forgot more about computers than any of you will ever know.  Better yet quit acting scared of your daughter, your granddaughter isn’t going anywhere!

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(For all my new readers this is where my daughters sleeps when she isn’t with me)

FYI, I have a whole neighborhood (my old neighborhood) ready to take us in case of a tornadic emergency and its five minutes away.  Even the ex would tell you I’m a severe weather worry wort so I’ll be plenty ahead of any tornado if it is headed are way!

Child indoctrination is a major no-no, yes it happens all the time in divorces but most of the time those two parents come up with a sensible custody schedule and then snipe at each other.  Not saying its right it’s just a fact of life.  Sure Sloane as overheard both of us on a private call and heard a word or two she probably didn’t need to, but a child is a sponge, they have their own little ninja minds always trying to soak up knowledge even if it is probably better if they just left well enough alone.  Back to the point of this I’m getting down right sick of Sloane being indoctrinated that I’m at fault for everything.  I tried to save it almost a year ago and never even got that chance, thank god!

Instead I was played like a fiddle and set up better than any point shaving scheme I could ever envision.  It almost worked, ALMOST, I figured out last summer what was going on just didn’t have the full scope of the operation against me in focus yet.  It’s all crystal clear now and it’s going to be bittersweet watching it crumble right before every one’s eyes.  If I’m wrong I don’t hang my head in shame I’ve done all I’ve could.  I get my little girl back tomorrow, Sunday at 6:00 p.m. and next Wednesday and that’s it in the foreseeable future other than at softball games and practices when she attends.

Fear not permanent and temporary residents of Skipah land, you’ve seen me in much worse shape and many of you new and old have given me strength, words of encouragement, and plenty of advice.  Granted, I haven’t always listened, but I’m going to save my daughter from this utter bullshit.  It may not happen May 13, or at the end of the summer when the not so secret full custody review is coming, but I will save her.  She my only child I’m ever going to have barring an extreme medical malfunction (use your imagination and no like anything else in my life mine wasn’t “routine”), she is going to stay in my life.

About all I got for tonight, more softball tomorrow and hopefully it goes much better, actually I already know it will!

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12 Comments

  1. Pingback: Welcome Back Sloane | Skipah's Realm

  2. Hang in there, Gary. Sloane loves you- kids are tough. You have a lot of us rooting for you!!! 🙂

  3. That’s really rough. Kids don’t understand the power of words and hate is a strong one. She didn’t mean it at all.

  4. Oh boy this sucks! I once made my parents cry by saying I hated them, I was too young to really understand the difference between ‘I hate you’ and ‘I’m upset with you’. The fact I had said this during my first attempt at running away from home really didn’t help much. It didn’t take me too long to realise how awful I had been, I imagine this is far different when words have been put into the little ones mouth and not only upsets you but will upset Sloane too.

    It really isn’t fair to put children in the middle of this sort of thing and I hope for Sloane’s sake that something sensible and realistic gets sorted on the 16th. You seem to be a fantastic dad and I’m sure others will see that too!

    Feel free to email me if you need a chat! 🙂 (wafflingsofanopenbook@gmail.com)

  5. This sucks. So sorry to hear, but I will say remain strong and keep on daddying like you have been. At that age, those words can’t count as much, but her actions speak much louder, and having her run into your arms when you visit her at lunch says it all!

    Hang in there man, enjoy the upcoming time with her. And good job on taking the high road. Speaking ill of the other never does anything good as I found out anyway!

  6. Hey man, I don’t know if this helps or not but my daughter told me she hated me when she was 7, 8, 9 and 10. It never feels good, but sometimes kids say crap they don’t mean.

    Sooner or later she’ll figure out what mom has been doing and come around. I don’t expect that helps much, if at all, but…

    Keep fighting.

  7. Hey Gary,
    Oh man I’m so very sorry that Sloane said those horrible words to you. I’m sure they cut like a knife right through your heart! Sending hugs!

    I know all too well how kids can be turned against you in the blink of an eye and it is so messed up! To indoctrinate unfounded and bias negative thoughts and emotions in a seven year old child should be considered a form of child abuse! It just makes me sick to my stomach to hear stories about it happening.

    Hang in there buddy things will get better they just have to! As my attorney always says “Evil never wins!”

    Much love,
    Lysa xx

    • I’m not saying her mother is behind it, but I am saying her mother doesn’t have her attention on Sloane and therefore she is “raising” herself right now.

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