Searching for Lilly King!

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That wacky Sunshine Dad always looking for free stuff!

With my daughter off to her Bluegrass sabbatical for the start of school, and Mr. Skipah actively wagering rooting for his homeland boys and girls in the Olympic swimming competitions, he thought it would be a good time for another round of Skipah’s Search Engine Posts.  Again these wayward souls somehow found my little piece of the Internet pie via the following search terms!  I would call for Olympic style drug testing for my readers, but I’m not that stringent!  Stoned, half-baked, hammered, high on life, no worries with me.  Thanks for reading as always!

Divorce, wife Facebook

Not sure where a reader was going with this or how they found me.  Anybody curious about my divorce, I was blocked on Facebook the moment I discovered Pinterest and all those handy memes and made sure to post them religiously on Facebook.  Now if you are looking for a wife that is divorced via Facebook, you are setting the bar way too high!  There are many seedier places online to find your true love.  Of course, I’ve only heard about them, and never ventured onto them.  Sorry BodaciousBetty10363 you weren’t really talking to GaryLoveGod62391…. that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

Divorce Papers

The sweetest thing you can ever receive.  It’s beautiful, it’s liberating, and it’s usually freaking expensive!  I keep my own personal Dead Sea Scrolls custom framed with mood lighting glowing on it at all times.  It was the only time in the last 20 years I legibly signed my name to something that didn’t look like I was a veteran physician writing a prescription for 100 milligrams of OxyContin.  I change out the black roses and thank God daily when I come home and see Miss Madison.  Not sure how Googling divorce paper found me, but I hope I offered a little inspiration for this person.

Lilly King for Governor of Indiana

O.K. I made that one up, but Lilly King is a native of Evansville and a freshman at Indiana University, seems mundane until I tell you she is the current Olympic 100-meter breaststroke gold medalist and called out a cheating Russkie and then backed it up.  If you cut your swimming teeth in the Ohio River , you can swim anywhere.  There are species of fish that don’t envy those waters!  #HoosierPride has never been roaring louder.  I’m Indiana to the bone, and Miss King is getting her 15 minutes of Skipahsphere fame for her performance Tuesday night!

Skills you need to be a teacher

I’m guessing this has to do with Miss Madison or her world renowned First Mate Kate’s Take series.  I can only teach how to count to 21 on a black jack table and what a point spread is.  Miss Madison does it for a living and does it quite well.  Lilly Endowment recipient, local celebrity, and from what I’ve read in the underground student chatrooms, one of the coolest teachers in her school!  Do well in school, young Padua, and graduate from college and you will have the skills you need to be a teacher.

http://lawattorneyinsurance.com

Either this was a plant for Darryl Isaacs, or a someone looking to collect insurance on their own death from the super ethical (cough, cough, BULLSHIT, cough, cough) law profession.  I don’t even think Saul Goodman was that crazy.  Finding my site for law attorney insurance is admirable, since I’ve currently got the Russian mob (thank you Hammy) on the hunt for a few.  Quick disclaimer:  Legal department at Skipah’s Realm, that was a joke, an example of satire, and not a true statement.  I have no idea who this Hammy is or any ties to the Russian mob…now for my cousin Anthony and his kinfolk in Sicily, I respectfully say “No comment.”

Amitabh Blog

Since it’s already well known for the last two years, teenage boys have found my site in India only to use their right hand to type something else in the search engine toolbar…Sunny Leone videos aren’t featured here.  I’m now getting hits from my Hindu pals on Amitabh Bachchan who is a well-accomplished actor in India.  I’m trying to leverage this for a free tour of the Taj Mahal so stay tuned.  By the way, unfortunately Ms. Leone still leads the competition by a mile in search engine hits, and I’m still trying to figure out a way to make money off this but all my phone calls haven’t been returned.  I might have to set up an Indian porn peddling Amazon page in Calcutta before I’m retired in the blogging world.

Good Grief Charlie Brown

I’m guessing this is in reference to this post from last year.  I’m sorry feminists I never meant to draw your ire, my humor sometimes doesn’t come off too well via a keyboard.

All that Ass

No I haven’t started my own pimping agency!  My only guess is from Katy Perry’s song California Gurls (calm down spelling Nazi that’s how it’s listed) and Snoop Dogg’s line “All that ass hanging out.”  Any long time reader would know before meeting Miss Madison I may or may not have had a borderline stalking charge coming at me for my obsession with Katy Perry.  By the way, her new song Rise is currently being looped non-stop in the offices at Skipah’s Realm.  This site unfortunately will be forever linked with Katy Perry, if anybody has contact with her please ask if she is ever coming to Indianapolis for a concert.  Miss Madison is dying to see her live!  What you thought I was going to say me?

And finally, the one that touched my heart the most,

Separated blindsided dad trying to fit in at children’s school

This is why I continued to blog after I got over the Evil Empire.  For men like this who are rowing in waters that make the Rio kayaking competition look serene.  I saw this and it jumped out at me like a kangaroo on crack.  My advice, newly single dad, be yourself and lose your shell.  Stick your nose in your child’s school like you are sniffing scents at a Yankee Candle store.  People will notice, you aren’t in the wrong, and it will get noticed quicker than a lost bear wandering around in Indiana.  Furthermore, you get to shove it up your soon to be ex’s ass when everyone seems to “like” you because you are actually looking out for your child.

Actually, since this one hits home a little more than some Indian teenager looking to grow hair on his palms, I’ll elaborate more.

You need to learn every freaking social media account your kid’s teachers are on.  Facebook groups, Twitter parties, you name it!  Get involved, you don’t have to start a blog (but it helps) but beat that ungrateful ex to the punch and take control of the situation.  Judges more than likely won’t agree with you and will rule in mom’s favor, but use that salt in your wound to your advantage.  Your kid(s) will thank you later even if they aren’t at an age that they get to decide.  Owning a website is a powerful tool, you lost a battle but now you get to win the war.  Think the “long” game.  My daughter is a prime example, she hates her current living situation and even tried to raise funds this summer to help me hire another lawyer in time so she wouldn’t have to go to school in her current district.  It sucks worse than the U.S. Presidential Election this year to inform your kid that ten bucks won’t even get you a phone call with a lawyer, but melted my heart she was trying!

About it for now, that Phelps guy is about to go swimming and it’s like 2008 all over again and the Olympics are must see T.V.!

BJ’s wholesale website - DHGate.com
Send Skipah Sailing!

29 Comments

  1. I don’t which is funnier the search terms people found your blog using or your commentary.
    Great post as always Skipah

  2. Pingback: One Day In Brazil -

  3. Do we all have a distant Sicilian cousin called Anthony? 😉

    I never have interesting search terms. Yours are delightful! Haha!

    I suppose there’s plenty of information on how to be divorced and how to properly display the papers, but Imma hold tight to my marriage license, at least for now.

    Always wishing you the best — Happy Weekend!

  4. Wow, what a post, my brain can barely keep up with the comedy! Entertaining as usual, and watch out for weird trolls on that crazy blog of yours 🙂

  5. No pimp agency? That could totally enhance your lifestyle.

  6. So funny. Loved the Dead Sea Scrolls. Laughed out loud.

  7. Mike Smith | Sunshine Dad

    I’ve been waiting for this post for a long time. I mean…WHAT?? Someone thought you were sending me a free T-Shirt? That’s crazy! Some people…lol

  8. Yep. – there are some strange fish out there with even stranger keyboard skills and search terms! Such a shame children have to go to school in districts they don’t want to – I like her spirit but dam the lawyers fees!!!!

  9. I’d put in a word for you with Katy Perry, but she never responds to my emails.

  10. All that ass… Was me… 🖐

  11. Geez, some people search for some pretty specific things. Thanks for the good read as always friend.

  12. Seeing this makes me jealous, all the search terms that have people land on my site are boring. Love the “one handed typing” terms though.

    • I still to this no day have any idea why I became so big in India! I was getting Sunny Leone hits before I ever knew what I was doing. I still don’t know what I’m doing I just think I do now.

  13. I can’t even look at mine!😂😂

  14. Dear Skipah, You are my all time favorite divorced dad rolemodel who can easily riff on Snoop Katey P., and the Taj Mahal in a single blog post! Your pal and fan in LA! Rosie

    • Coming from the #BlogHer grand champion I take these words very kindly :). Thank you for all the compliments Rosie! When I have my barnstorming tour of California one of these days the first drink (or six) is on me!

Tell Skipah all about it!