Must be the first sunset in weeks in Southern Indiana!
Coincidentally enough, thanks to this blogger, yours truly eclipsed the 1000-mark follower on WordPress recently. Rumor has it the tech staff threw a party in my honor but I can’t confirm that. Thank you from Mr. Skipah to all my fans worldwide for hitting that little blue follow button anytime you’ve popped into my sector of the internet. Now to start a clandestine spam campaign to get another 1000!
I’d list everybody that I know of that are repeat readers, but then Miss Madison would throw a fit as editor in chief and lop more of this post off than anything I’ve ever had published in Yahoo. All fifty states and just about every country that has internet access has had at least one citizen pop in for a sec to at least grab a promotional beer huggy and some literature from the Skipah’s Realm Tourism Bureau. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You, the denizens, have picked me up at some of the worse moments of my life and probably never even realized it.
The philanthropy division of Skipah’s Realm wanted me to give a quick mention to my latest cause. Back when Sloane was a Hoosier resident and attended school in her hometown (like, you know, most divorced kids get to), she was at a wonderful school that had an even better community. Well, one of her schoolmates named Azzaria was born without an ear and her BFF Luke is trying to do what he can to help raise money for a trip to Idaho this summer to get the situation remedied. I thought Idaho was only known for potatoes and this Ph.D. genius, but, evidently, they have a top notch facility for this kind of stuff. So if you can find a nickel under your couch or can catch your crazy uncle Larry on a three-martini dinner after a big day at the track, please click here and contribute.
Or click here!
I don’t know about the rest of you, but May 19th in the Skipahsphere was a huge celebration. No, it wasn’t my back and forth with a certain Kardashian celebrating #NationalSendANudeDay. Instead, I found a local garage band that specialized in Kiss cover songs, hired a flunky from 1-800-Bartend to keep the draft beer and shot glasses filled with Fireball, and maxed out the company credit card at Costco’s on Beer Nuts and finger food. You maybe thinking it was Hammy’s birthday blowout (that would involve Russian strippers and Smirnoff), instead, it was Skipah’s second annual Happy (Un)Anniversary party! That’s right, 15 years ago this sucker said, “I do” in front of God and everybody. Last year I celebrated alone.
This year I had a hot date! Miss Madison and I partied like it’s 1999, in between sets of Beth and Detroit Rock City, we were blasting Margaritaville on the karaoke machine like a couple of professional barflies! All the patrons had a good time playing Rock N Roll Jeopardy, and throwing darts at their respective exes. Once again it turned out the Miami guests in attendance couldn’t hold their liquor, but it was my party and that’s why Stanley Steemer turns a tidy profit every year!
A new tradition was started this year as all the guests were asked to bring in their lawyer bills and court orders. We soaked all that paper in kerosene and had the biggest fire this state has ever seen. My contribution alone kept the fire going for a solid hour. I had to inform our Colorado patrons that we only grow Romaine lettuce in this state, not the “hippie” variety that has become so popular in that state. It was a grand old time, and thankfully no pictures were taken (Skipah is no dummy, instead of a coat check I had a cell phone check), so it was just good old fashioned divorcee club fun!
Not since a sixties era book burning had a fire glowed so bright!
In an unrelated note Miss Madison informed me this will be the last time I get to celebrate a Happy Un-Anniversary party….cue up the Beyonce again.
All kidding aside, I actually partied with Sloane at the Anderson County, Kentucky Little League Complex watching my own rock star daughter play softball. Still no word from them on a possible Skipah’s Realm sponsorship, but they haven’t run out of hot dogs again either. To quote Meatloaf, “Two out of three ain’t bad,” as mother nature kyboshed one game of the three scheduled this week.
Sorry loyal reader, I get a little excited with the softball pics!
She’s hitting the ball harder than I’ve ever seen her and seems to really love playing the game. I’ll fight the ridiculous Louisville construction traffic every damn day to see my little Mickey Mantle play softball for one hour. It’s quickly making me a platinum club member at area gas stations around the state, and a first lieutenant in the “Asphalt Army.” I’ll be general of that army if I have too, though, just to see my daughter grin ear to ear every time she sees me show up at the park. I get a wave, big grin, and goofy face every time she sees me. It’s a proud dad moment and something I will always cherish. (Remind me of that previous sentence when boys come into the picture, please!)
Hopefully, in four more months, this nightmare will be over!
About it, for now, I may have had a fictional party (or was it) going on yesterday, but there is a real party going on this weekend! I get my princess back, and she, Miss Madison, Miss Madison Jr., and I are going to help The Turtle Man bring in year five of his existence in style! Pastry chef Gary has to dust off his cake making skills for his most daunting task yet (in the decorating department, making a cake is easier than counting to ten), and assuming it turns out as planned, you can expect pictures in a future post. My second annual Happy Un-Anniversary day was much better than the first. Why? Because I celebrated it with Sloane and came home to Miss Madison!