Sloane vs. Dad II/The Rematch-New Year New Result!


Fight night is finally here, the much awaited rematch between the daughter and I on who has more vampire in them.  I feel like the aging veteran champion who got caught with a sucker punch in the first duel by the younger challenger.  I’ve been hitting the speed bag, running my wind sprints and going to attempt to regain the belt!  As I type I’m currently mainlining sugar water, wiped out Wal-Mart today of all over the counter speed related narcotics today and if that isn’t enough I’ve got “Simon the Sandman” ready to run me over some harder stuff.  O.K. I made that last sentence up nobody go freaking out.  I’m on Diet Dr. Pepper and later the hard stuff, Welch’s Sparkling Grape Juice.  Sloane is running on all cylinders knocking back apple juice like the town wino on one-dollar draft night at the local tavern.  She is also getting primed for the Welch’s bubbly later.

The rules are the same as last time no allergy meds for her no Disney movies for me, other than that it’s an evening of activities of smores, chasing Hammy or “The Hammer” as she’s taken to calling him today.  Much more fitting for a hamster with his special espionage skill set.  Hammy is going to also get introduced to the American Girl Dolls and accessories so we will see how tough he really his.  I set hammy up his own arena today in the living room, blocking off any entrance in and out of the room.  If he is smart, he will run up the Christmas tree and hide until bedtime.  I expect any time now the inevitable “Daddy are you sure we can’t watch Frozen” Let it go Sloane!

Other bizarro things that were going in my head today in regards to children’s movies.  How come the boys don’t ever get one to root for?  C’mon Walt throw the boys a bone, every Disney movie is about a princess and the one’s that aren’t are for all children.  Since Pixar took over the only “boy” BIG BLOCKBUSTER movie that comes to mind is Cars.  I took Sloane at Thanksgiving to see Big Hero Six but I don’t exactly see Disney launching a two-billion-dollar marketing campaign for that movie.  The big hyped Disney movies involve a princess or are for everyone.  Toy Story, Monster’s Inc., Finding Nemo all entertaining, but dammit can’t Disney give us some bad ass Rambo style character!  As any unfortunate parents knows, for what it costs to attend your Mouse-A-Palooza all over the world I’m sure there could be a little more in the budget for an animated male action hero.  Gets the girl next door, the prom queen, or Katy Perry at the end of the movie after enduring more hardship from wicked mother in laws, mean big brothers, or deceitful ex-wives?  Granted I’ve got a daughter so I’m stuck in princess purgatory until real boys enter the picture, but that’s my challenge to you as a father Disney.  Give young boys all over the country there own Elsa next year.  Next time I am at the Most Wonderful Place on Earth, I fully expect an exhibit for the boys.  I’m sure your “Imagineers” can come up with a young boys “man cave” or a “No girls allowed” tree house.  I’m done preaching Walt; the ball is in your court now!

Going to wrap it up for the night and refill my sugar water IV, but from Me, Sloane, and Hammy everyone has a safe and wonderful New Year’s!

P.S. and in one more swift kick in the balls from 2014 my IPad charger (I hope) has apparently quit working.








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